Don't have courage to dump BF

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01/06/2015 12:21

Subject: Don't have courage to dump BF

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a 5-year relationship with a wonderful man who I love in many ways and who I think is a great person - but over 2014 I really understood that he'd be a good husband for someone else, not me. Our values have changed as we've gotten older and so have our priorities. I'm increasingly feeling stifled and mismatched but I don't have the courage to dump him. We already broke up three times and got back together and two of those times were at my initiation (one was mutual). I just don't want to hurt him again and I'm not ready for the fight that will follow. And as much as I don't want to date him, I feel some anxiety of not having the comfort of his friendship and company in my life again. And I'm scared of his reaction to another break up. Not in a "he's violent" way but in a "I can't take his sadness, anger, arguments and all the negative emotions associated with breaking up".

I also genuinely care about him so I hate how hurt he might be by this and I NEVER wanted to hurt him.

Any stories of hard break ups that ended up being the right decision?

This makes it sound like you expect him to try to bully you into not leaving. Is that so?

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01/06/2015 17:02

Subject: Don't have courage to dump BF

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Anonymous

OP here. Thanks for all replies. I guess I'm going to have to do it soon.

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01/06/2015 20:45

Subject: Don't have courage to dump BF

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Anonymous

Yeah. Breakups suck.

Last year I ended a relationship with someone I'd been involved with, off and on, for 25 years. I always thought he was my soulmate. Maybe in some way he is. But in the last year of our relationship, I realized that our values and priorities were just too different. I could never be "myself" with him. Ending it with him was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's been a year, and I still miss him and have dreams about him. But the greatest emotion I feel is relief. I am so glad I am not wasting any more of my preciously short life on a relationship that's going nowhere, and I'm glad he is free to find someone who's more compatible.

It will suck but you will feel better once you've cut the ties for good.