Help--reasonable to ask in laws not to come under these circumstances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let the ILs know that you will be staying in a hotel near your mom so that you do not pass germs back and forth from home to hospital. Tell them that you are worried that you won't be there to look after them and they will be stuck with babysitting and housesitting duties with DH. And then do it.

Why should OP have to go to a hotel?

New poster, because then OP gets a break from all of the work of hosting and child care while her mother is sick in the hospital. If her DH is so set on having his parents come down even thought his mother is sick, he can do the work while OP relaxes with a glass of wine in a quiet room.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. We should all just be happy to hang out in a hotel room alone for a week during Christmas.

Get over yourself. No one's saying OP has to take that advice if she doesn't want to, it was one suggestion among many.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want any sick people in my house.

[Anonymous]

If you're uncomfortable cancel your ils visit. Don't let anyone guilt you about it. I would change my plans if I was sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let the ILs know that you will be staying in a hotel near your mom so that you do not pass germs back and forth from home to hospital. Tell them that you are worried that you won't be there to look after them and they will be stuck with babysitting and housesitting duties with DH. And then do it.

Why should OP have to go to a hotel?

New poster, because then OP gets a break from all of the work of hosting and child care while her mother is sick in the hospital. If her DH is so set on having his parents come down even thought his mother is sick, he can do the work while OP relaxes with a glass of wine in a quiet room.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. We should all just be happy to hang out in a hotel room alone for a week during Christmas.

Who can afford to drop $1000 last minute on a hotel room after all the christmas expenses you already have?

Get over yourself. No one's saying OP has to take that advice if she doesn't want to, it was one suggestion among many.

[Anonymous]

I have parents/step-parents/ILs with compromised immune systems. Generally, when one person has an illness/not feeling well, they stay away. If we're planning a large gathering, sometimes the person with the compromised immune system has to stay away. It sucks but that's the way it is. Your MIL and your mother should stay away.

[Anonymous]

I would ask they wait till she feels better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let the ILs know that you will be staying in a hotel near your mom so that you do not pass germs back and forth from home to hospital. Tell them that you are worried that you won't be there to look after them and they will be stuck with babysitting and housesitting duties with DH. And then do it.

Why should OP have to go to a hotel?

New poster, because then OP gets a break from all of the work of hosting and child care while her mother is sick in the hospital. If her DH is so set on having his parents come down even thought his mother is sick, he can do the work while OP relaxes with a glass of wine in a quiet room.

Bingo!

Besides giving a break to OP, it also allows the DH to spend time with his parents. Everyone is happy.

[Anonymous]

The risk of infection is not as great as you think it would be, OP.

Unless you are isolating yourself and your family, you might pick up something while you are buying groceries, going to the mall, from your kids, your husband may bring something from work and these all ways that you might "carry" something.

Just take precautions before you go to visit your mother like washing and sanitizing your hands especially before you enter her room and interact with her. You could pick up something just touching door handles at the hospital.

But ask her physician as to whether your mother's immune system is so compromised that any sort of exposure such as with your in-laws would cause any major risk. If she were seriously compromised, you would likely have to wear a mask when you go to see her.

[Anonymous]

Why would someone with a fever and cough plan to visit? If it were me, I would stay home.

[Anonymous]

First of all, MIL should not be visiting anyone while ill. That's just a basic courtesy.

However if your mother is sick and you are okay exposing yourself to her, you need to be okay with your MIL's illnesss too. I cant see that your mother is going to get any sicker from what your MIL has (if it was going to get passed somehow to her) It sounds like you want to take care of your family and not be bothered with his.

[Anonymous]

Get the doctor's opinion.
Mine is that your mother has priority and your ILs should not stay in your house.

I would suggest that if they really want to visit the area, they stay at a hotel, and visit for short periods of time. DH has to be on the same page, otherwise it might lead to conflict.

[Anonymous]

Even without your mom's illness, I wouldn't want anyone with a low grade fever staying at my house. Can they wait and come down in a couple days when she is recovered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let the ILs know that you will be staying in a hotel near your mom so that you do not pass germs back and forth from home to hospital. Tell them that you are worried that you won't be there to look after them and they will be stuck with babysitting and housesitting duties with DH. And then do it.

So the in laws get to spend Christmas with OP's kids, and OP doesn't?

[Anonymous]

Just want to add that the two mothers' illness are not comparable! OP's is in hospital with pneumonia, which can easily be fatal in the elderly. MIL has a low-grade fever and feels well enough not to cancel her trip.

There is a huge difference there and OP's mother should be given every safety precaution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't worry about the transmission to your mother. However, I wouldn't want her to come bc then you and hubby may get sick. If you are sick then you def can't go see your mother.

+1

That is enough going on to ask them to postpone their visit. You need to stay well, and I imagine it is a bit chaotic managing your mom's care plus when she gets home.