want to request we stop exchanging gifts with SIL/BIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years back, my sis requested to only exchange gifts for the kids due to budget constraints. We all agreed, and it has been much easier. Just say it and make it happen

Us too.

[Anonymous]

This is a clear cut case of just saying "no more". It would be one thing if she put some clear effort into giving but she is just cheap and passing on clothing she would probably donate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with above; however, depending on how temperamental they are, you might want to still give a gift this year because it's right before Christmas. Then have that conversation (or send that email) over the summer, or in early fall. Just because it's Dec. 16, now.

Interesting--I'd like to do this with a niece and nephew. But my cousin and I have a great relationship and I like the niece and nephew. However; they are far away, I don't know what to get them, and I'm always floundering around Christmastime. I get them some Jackson&Perkins carmel corn and candy or something, and I feel bad because my cousin is on top of everything and last year got my kids each an outfit from Justice--nice! And wrapped it and sent it in the mail. I feel crappy that I am so lame compared to her and do something online where I don't have to go to the store, pick something out, wrap it, and go to the PO.

So I don't think I sink to the level of your SIL (because they CAN eat it and it's NOT cheap) but I admit it's the kind of gift that is not "individualized," and I do feel bad about it. But anyways, I'm just saying that your SIL will probably be relieved. Ha, this year, my cousin sent us Jackson & Perkins candy back, and I think she's "had it" with me and so is giving me a taste of my own medicine.

But just want to say, just do it (stop the gift giving or give one more time and then stop it mid-year) and don't waste time on being resentful. Different people have different competencies when it comes to Christmas gift giving, so don't assume she's giving you lame gifts because she's really saying "f-you, I don't care."

FWIW I just looked at the justice clothing website and it looked tacky and over-priced

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just don't give anything. That'll get the message through LOL

+1. Tell them that you are not doing gift exchanges anymore with anyone. And do not send anything - not even to the kids. If she calls - tell her that you already warned her. She will not send you anything next year.

However, do send a family newsletter/Christmas card etc. from now on.

[Anonymous]

want to request we stop exchanging gifts with SIL/BIL

do it

[Anonymous]

Went to kids-only and it's great--though I did reserve the right to bestow gifts on adults if I came across something that was in some way just perfect. So far so good!

[Anonymous]

It is even worse to have a cheap sister who you must see over the holidays. She gives my kids the worst crap. I am super generous with her kids but she is awful. They have money so I don't know what her problem is. It has now become a joke.

[Anonymous]

We slowly devolved from gifts for all to a "pick a name from the hat" to nothing. This devolution coincided with the everyone else's kids getting older and observing that it was just becoming a gift card exchange. I finally spoke up and said it seemed silly and all agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We slowly devolved from gifts for all to a "pick a name from the hat" to nothing. This devolution coincided with the everyone else's kids getting older and observing that it was just becoming a gift card exchange. I finally spoke up and said it seemed silly and all agreed.

This is exactly what happened in our family, too. When the kids were teenagers, they started requesting gift cards. If you are basically exchanging gift cards, it is like exchanging money and that is when gift exchange should end.

[Anonymous]

We are older -- the steps to getting to no gift exchange. 1) we all tried and we all missed 2) we sent fruit nuts, candy 3) flowers 4) we stopped. Just a card and we are all happy.

[Anonymous]

I would like to do this with a family member, but he thinks he's sending great gifts. He actually tries. He sends toffee, popcorn and awful just awful canned salmon. We eat the popcorn, throw everything else out and tell him "thank you, we loved it." Then we get it again and again and again. Agh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We slowly devolved from gifts for all to a "pick a name from the hat" to nothing. This devolution coincided with the everyone else's kids getting older and observing that it was just becoming a gift card exchange. I finally spoke up and said it seemed silly and all agreed.

This is exactly what happened in our family, too. When the kids were teenagers, they started requesting gift cards. If you are basically exchanging gift cards, it is like exchanging money and that is when gift exchange should end.

+100000

I already suggested the IL adults stop. Of course, I was the bad guy fro that. The adults have anything they want and more. Besides, they always buy what they want themselves. It is more work than anything to add more people. Time and money isn't growing on trees. I don't want to be the one to say - when the kids hit 25 - time to stop. But for crying out loud, it is ridiculous at this point.

Talk about grabby!

Now, certain adults who want to, exchange. I thought that was kind of rude. But what can you expect?

Over it.