What do you do when someone says something horrible to their child in public?

[Anonymous]

If you believe in God, then at least say a prayer for that child.

I'd call CPS on the guy. Follow him out and get his license plate number. But it may not get you anywhere as they will want proof that the child is abused. Still that is verbal abuse and it may be enough to get somone over to the house to check up on the child.

I hope and pray people like that will start using birth control. Can you imagine the damage he's doing to that poor child?

[Anonymous]

" Growing up with that kind of feedback from a parent can be very damaging to a child's self-esteem and creat big time trust issues later on in life.

Obviously. But sometimes the reality is:

"I dare you to speak your mind to some of the bad ass looking moms I see on the bus cussin at their kids. Those moms could kick my ass with one hand tied behind their back, they are some scrappy looking bitches I see calling their kids MFers.
"

And these women carry knives. It's not worth the risk for me to try to be "kind". These women don't know the meaning of kindness or how to respond to it.

"NO ONE says anything to those moms, they are some tough girls I see on the bus. Most of them look no more than 18 yrs old with a few kids, they simply have no coping skills, there's nothing I can do about that."

But pray. THIS is the future of our country, not your kids and not the "Mommy Wars". It ain't pretty.

[Anonymous]

Well meaning bystanders "spoke up to my parents". It resulted in far worse beatings when I got home.

[Anonymous]

"I hope and pray people like that will start using birth control. Can you imagine the damage he's doing to that poor child? "

Multiple that by the damage to millions and it's easy to see why our prisons are bulging.

[Anonymous]

" Maybe, not even acknowledging the parent but saying something nice to the child might get the message across to the parent. "

Oh, sure. That'll do it. There is no easy fix.

[Anonymous]

There was a recent discussion on this topic on one of the WP online live chats they do with their columnists. The humor guy, oddly enough.

Anyway, there was only one response that was a departure from what folks here have said. Someone wrote in to say that even if her abusive mother was worse after someone spoke up (like a PP mentioned), it was worth it to her and her sister to receive confirmation from a stranger that the mother was the one out of line, and not the kids.

I lived through years of relatively mild physical abuse and somewhat less mild verbal and emotional abuse. My large extended family said nothing. Then one day when I was about 24, one aunt said to me, out of the blue, "We're all so glad to see that your mother didn't ruin you." Talk about a wake-up call. I felt like I needed therapy more after that remark than before. It was a total revelation to me that someone might have objected, however silently, to our upbringing. I still don't really know what to make of it.

All that to say, I guess, that there are way more complicated considerations than the immediate response of the parent. These children are going to have some major emotional issues, and who knows if your comment on the subway will be the one thing that keeps them hanging on.

[Anonymous]

"It was a total revelation to me that someone might have objected, however silently, to our upbringing."

Someone might have objected to your upbringing to no avail. Someone could have sympathized with you, but when you realized nothing was going to change, you might have felt worse.

There are no guarantees in life.

[Anonymous]

When my child was an infant I was in Wegmans in Loudoun County. There was a young man, a young woman, and a baby in a carrier in their cart. My husband and I had our baby with us too. We bought lunch and took our baby out of the cart to go upstairs and eat. The young couple had food as well and the young man just exploded in anger when he realized that Wegmans prohibits bringing carts upstairs into its cafe seating. He yelled and cursed at the young woman standing over the top of the baby. I did not stop and say anything b/c I had my own baby with me. We ate and came back down and found them still eating their food standing in the cart parking area. We encountered them several times in the door and each time he was yelling at the young woman, berating her, and one time he was advancing on her and she was backing away from him. He was saying things like -- and what do you think you are going to about it. And the last time we saw him, he was screaming in the baby's face and the baby and the young woman were crying. Every Wegmans has an LP room -- in Loudoun they almost always have a Dep. Sheriff onsite. I went to that door knocked and introduced myself to the Sheriff who was in there. I explained what I saw and the Sheriff told me he couldn't do anything to the guy absent a crime being committed. And I said maybe the site of the uniform and the knowledge that a store patron was concerned enough to report his behavior might help him get it together. I told the LPO where I had last seen them and described his clothing. The LPO found him on camera and the Sheriff went to go talk to the guy. I don't know what happened, but I did not feel that I could leave without doing something and neither my husband nor myself wanted to intervene with our own child present.

[Anonymous]

My heart is heavy tonight when I read this.

When I was single, I took the metro daily from Columbia Heights. What I saw and heard made me so sad. These were my neighbors. . .