Is this a red flag or a dealbreaker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP:

1st: Was too old. She didn't fit in his social circle, he didn't have the same values. Changed after marriage.

2nd: Became super weird after marriage. Was immature.

3rd: Had BPD. Started on their honeymoon. Threatened to leave during honeymoon. Drained her checking account, CCs etc.

Hmm. So it is always their fault. She learned nothing, made no mistakes. ?

Which is the father of her kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A single 38 year old woman who has been married and divorced 3 times.

LOL, if you really have to ask, you are FUCKED.

[Anonymous]

I married three times. First one I divorced after a year. He totally changed after getting married. We dated 3 years before marrying. I am super active, and he just kept up with me while dating. As soon as we got married he showed his true lazy ass colors. I opted out fast as I didn't want a couch potatoe partner. You cannot change the nature of a person.

2on marriage lasted 5 years. Married to a military officer. He was sent overseas. He cheated and decided to leave. Didn't work out with his fling, tried to come back to me, and of course I didn't get him back. No kids.

3rd marriage. 9 years and going strong. 3 kids and a beautiful life. However, if things were to go sour for whatever reason, I would be out. I believe in marriage, I just don't take shit. I am a very devoted person, and I expect from my partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A single 38 year old woman who has been married and divorced 3 times.

Damaged goods. Move on.

Or maybe the damage comes with some hard earned wisdom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married three times. First one I divorced after a year. He totally changed after getting married. We dated 3 years before marrying. I am super active, and he just kept up with me while dating. As soon as we got married he showed his true lazy ass colors. I opted out fast as I didn't want a couch potatoe partner. You cannot change the nature of a person.

2on marriage lasted 5 years. Married to a military officer. He was sent overseas. He cheated and decided to leave. Didn't work out with his fling, tried to come back to me, and of course I didn't get him back. No kids.

3rd marriage. 9 years and going strong. 3 kids and a beautiful life. However, if things were to go sour for whatever reason, I would be out. I believe in marriage, I just don't take shit. I am a very devoted person, and I expect from my partner.

OP, does this sum it up for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP:

1st: Was too old. She didn't fit in his social circle, he didn't have the same values. Changed after marriage.

2nd: Became super weird after marriage. Was immature.

3rd: Had BPD. Started on their honeymoon. Threatened to leave during honeymoon. Drained her checking account, CCs etc.

So what's wrong with you? She wouldn't be interested if you were normal.

[Anonymous]

Only if you are desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:does she put out? If so milk it for what it is worth.

I think it is a red flag. But f u to this pp. This is a cruel way to treat people.

[Anonymous]

I would run for the hills.

I had a friend who was 35 and on her third marriage. First two had been awful brief mistakes, but her third was more than 10 years long and seemed very happy.

Then she cheated. She left. Married the other man. Then she cheated and left. And then we lost touch for a time.

She is on her 6th husband now. SIXTH. Does anyone think this marriage will last?

[Anonymous]

OP, please go google the term common denominator. Your answer lies there.

[Anonymous]

She says she's now in touch with her metaphysical side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP:

1st: Was too old. She didn't fit in his social circle, he didn't have the same values. Changed after marriage.

2nd: Became super weird after marriage. Was immature.

3rd: Had BPD. Started on their honeymoon. Threatened to leave during honeymoon. Drained her checking account, CCs etc.

As a relatively open person, I would say no. Too much baggage. UNLESS she has been in therapy and figured out what went wrong and fixed it.

[Anonymous]

You can ask a bunch of anonymous people you don't know their views on something only you have experienced. I do this all the time BUT, you need to know that 1. only you know her and 2. maybe she was pretty bad at picking guys, and maybe you are the one good guy she needs and maybe you are a good presence in her life. BUT, I would have my antennas up, and be vigilant about how she deals with most things in her life. I find it amusing and frustrating that we all want to meet people who have it all figured out, but we still want to meet interesting people. Well, nobody has it all figured out. But if her pattern is somebody else is always wrong, I would be aware. And if you want to be in for the ride, at least go in with eyes open.

[Anonymous]

Deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

It depends.

Each and every divorce is unique and I would want to hear her side of the story first and how she interprets the reason(s) why the marriages ended.

Does she blame the ex(es) + say it was all on them?
Does she take partial blame and says she learned something from each break-up?
Was she young and made a rash decision at the time?

I would listen to her answers before deciding to judge her on it.