boss doesn't want me at management retreat

[Anonymous]

Yup. I ran into this in big-law. I was a lateral brought in right before making partner. A junior partner right above me spent the entire time I was there (4 months) trying to drum me out.

I sniffed what was happening and immediately landed an in-house job. It was incredibly stressful, but I am all the better for it.

The firm was annoyed about my decision, but truthfully, it was painfully obvious why I left. They just wouldn't deal with that partner so it signaled that they weren't invested in my career.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, if you're the only one left out at your level/higher, then your boss doesn't give a shit about you and showed it by deliberately excluding you.

How did you think your relationship was with your boss earlier?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. These are the sorts of things I've been thinking.

I approached another senior woman in the company (very gingerly) about the retreat and she revealed that she was quite upset to hear that I had not been included. Turns out that the head of our company (my boss' boss) expected me to be at the retreat, but that it was my boss who insisted that I didn't need to be there. She thought it was underhanded…and now that I know about it, so do I.

I've been at this job less than one year. Isn't it too early to look around? Boy does this make me mad! I'm objectively doing a great job…but this feels like a no-win-situation.

[Anonymous]

HI OP - I think you got screwed too. But have to ask - are you by any chance married to someone attending the retreat or having an affair with anyone in the organization? That can mess up your situation. If not, then, yes, I agree with everyone else that you should start looking because it sounds like your boss is sexist or has another problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. These are the sorts of things I've been thinking.

I approached another senior woman in the company (very gingerly) about the retreat and she revealed that she was quite upset to hear that I had not been included. Turns out that the head of our company (my boss' boss) expected me to be at the retreat, but that it was my boss who insisted that I didn't need to be there. She thought it was underhanded…and now that I know about it, so do I.

I've been at this job less than one year. Isn't it too early to look around? Boy does this make me mad! I'm objectively doing a great job…but this feels like a no-win-situation.

Whoa. I agree with the PP who said to start looking with the same urgency you would if you had been laid off. Your boss sounds terrible, and it's only going to get worse. So sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

You need to start looking. At least internally, to get away from your boss.

You are being set up, OP. Get out.

[Anonymous]

Time to start looking for a new job ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. These are the sorts of things I've been thinking.

I approached another senior woman in the company (very gingerly) about the retreat and she revealed that she was quite upset to hear that I had not been included. Turns out that the head of our company (my boss' boss) expected me to be at the retreat, but that it was my boss who insisted that I didn't need to be there. She thought it was underhanded…and now that I know about it, so do I.

I've been at this job less than one year. Isn't it too early to look around? Boy does this make me mad! I'm objectively doing a great job…but this feels like a no-win-situation.

It is definitely underhanded. Could your boss's boss not override him? If everyone else expects you to be there, is there any chance someone could lobby him on your behalf? At least it sounds like everyone who matters understands the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. These are the sorts of things I've been thinking.

I approached another senior woman in the company (very gingerly) about the retreat and she revealed that she was quite upset to hear that I had not been included. Turns out that the head of our company (my boss' boss) expected me to be at the retreat, but that it was my boss who insisted that I didn't need to be there. She thought it was underhanded…and now that I know about it, so do I.

I've been at this job less than one year. Isn't it too early to look around? Boy does this make me mad! I'm objectively doing a great job…but this feels like a no-win-situation.

It is definitely underhanded. Could your boss's boss not override him? If everyone else expects you to be there, is there any chance someone could lobby him on your behalf? At least it sounds like everyone who matters understands the situation.

If the other people truly cared about OP they would have made sure that OP was invited. But they didn't want to override OP's boss. That's a pretty clear signal.

OP, sorry, I agree with the other posters that this probably won't end well.

[Anonymous]

One of the ways a boss can justify something like this is b/c you are going to be let go or fired. None of the others would tell you this. I would look for a new job ASAP.
Also, if you do go over your boss's head to get into this retreat, he will fuck you over. You will be a threat to him and shown him up I front of his boss. It's a no win for you.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Can you work for someone else in the company? Your boss is clearly going for your head

[Anonymous]

The retreat is the least of your problems.

You need to be willing to talk to your boss.
Your boss may be using attendance as a reward for a future year (instead of a raise) which would b be sh*tty.
Your boss is marginalizing you and your role. Is this fair? I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yup, I pretty much agree with so many of the posters here. Thanks for the reality-check. The new search begins!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he is clearly trying to sabotage you. How has your relationship been with him up until now?

I would be pissed. You have to find a way to go. This is bad.

My guess if your boss finds you a threat. can you try to switch to a different group or boss?

[Anonymous]

RUN BAMBI RUN!