Psycho BIL

[Anonymous]

Don't go. You don't need the stress and, really, will anyone be comfortable if you're there? Life is too short and there's nothing to be gained from attending.

[Anonymous]

This sounds very concerning to me. This is the type of guy that would come back and shoot up his kids and family. If I were you I would stay the HELL away from this dinner and him in all cases, and be doing everything in my power to get my sister and her kids away from him. This situation is really sad and frightening.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read all the responses, but your BIL has delusional disorder, jealous subtype. Anti-psychotics can be helpful in treating it, but only if the person takes them consistently, which is an issue because the person does not believe they have a mental illness. Your sister needs to read, "I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help" if she's determined to try to work things out and to find a psychiatrist who's used to working with patients who don't believe they need meds. Getting shots of anti-psychotics every 2-4 weeks is a better way to treat this than pills because it's a lot easier to go off pills.

I think your sister should leave him, but it sounds like she's not ready. Right after they leave is when women are most in danger of being killed by their batterer, so your sister needs to really get a solid exit plan together.

Don't go to their house for Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the responses, but your BIL has delusional disorder, jealous subtype. Anti-psychotics can be helpful in treating it, but only if the person takes them consistently, which is an issue because the person does not believe they have a mental illness. Your sister needs to read, "I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help" if she's determined to try to work things out and to find a psychiatrist who's used to working with patients who don't believe they need meds. Getting shots of anti-psychotics every 2-4 weeks is a better way to treat this than pills because it's a lot easier to go off pills.

I think your sister should leave him, but it sounds like she's not ready. Right after they leave is when women are most in danger of being killed by their batterer, so your sister needs to really get a solid exit plan together.

Don't go to their house for Thanksgiving.

I think your diagnosis is dead on. My sister doesn't really tell me what his dx is all she knows is he is on anti-psychotics. He doesn't believe he is sick. Only taking meds cause my sister has said she will leave if he doesn't but she has no means to verify that he is taking them. That is of course till it is to late. I will suggest the shots to her. I don't think she knows they come in that form. I hope she will finally decide to be rid of him. That is the part that scares me the most, when they leave is when the problems really start.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you went through this. Honestly though I disagree with everyone else. I think you should go for the sake of your sister. Abusers isolate their victims and his behavior is resulting in her being isolated from the people she cares about. I think you need to actively prevent that from happening. Be there for her. Show him you are not going away. Don't make her feel ashamed by not going. Empower her with your presence. She sounds like a good sister and so do you. Interested in other thoughts on this differing perspective. Good luck to you and her!!