Drinking and family at the holidays

[Anonymous]

You dh sounds like a selfish jerk. He may need rehab himself if he can't skip drinking for a a few days.

[Anonymous]

Your

[Anonymous]

We do not use see-through glasses for alcohol, nor do we put wine bottles on the table. It's not ideal, but it's the most reasonable compromise we came up with for all parties involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You dh sounds like a selfish jerk. He may need rehab himself if he can't skip drinking for a a few days.

Wait, so OP's father has a drinking problem and was likely a jackass while he was drinking. A few years ago he goes to rehab and now OP and her husband have to refrain from a beer or glass of wine in their own home??? They're not planning to have a kegger or do shots. They're simply relaxing in their own home. This is life and the world goes on after someone gets out of rehab. I'm guessing that in the last several years, OP's father has been at restaurants and parties where others are drinking alcohol.

If OP's father's sobriety is so tenuous that her husband cannot have a beer in his own home, then this visit needs to be re-scheduled.

[Anonymous]

My dad is an alcoholic and has ruined every holiday I can remember (I'm 44) spending with him by being drunk and acting like an ass or starting fights with anyone/everyone/ drunk driving, storming out of the house and disappearing for hours, etc. So, from that perspective, I would be so glad that my mother was trying to keep the temptation away from him that I would do whatever I could to help.

On the other hand, my sister seems to like drinking with my dad and doesn't really see a problem with it until it goes past the point of being fun.

[Anonymous]

Alcoholics need to learn how to live in a world with alcohol

Your home your choice.

Husband can drink. Discretion is good though.

My brother is an alcoholic. We still have wine at dinner. It's his illness, not ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this is coming from your mom. One of the behaviors of a spouse of an alcoholic is to try to control situations. How about talking to your dad and hearing his thoughts?

I totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Plus 1 million 08:17

I agree. Isn't the purpose of aa to teach them how to be in a world without alcohol without overindulging. Just because you are in recovery doesn't mean that alcohol suddenly doesn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this is coming from your mom. One of the behaviors of a spouse of an alcoholic is to try to control situations. How about talking to your dad and hearing his thoughts?

My thought too. Ask your dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad is in recovery and we get non alcoholic beer or cider for him. He's been sober much longer than your dad but it seems to work. He has something to hold in his hand when other people are enjoying their wine/beer. Doesn't remove the temptation but it does remove the awkwardness for someone who isn't very tempted but needs something to do when everyone else is drinking.

My stepdad drinks NA beers, same with him. He's been clean for 20+ years though (we've only known him for 8 so it seems crazy for us to picture it) and his problem wasn't alcohol specific (more drugs) so I don't know if that makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

My dad is a recovering alcoholic. He's fallen off the wagon several times, which is scary because the last time apparently involved him driving home completely blitzed.

We do not drink around him, even though he's said it's ok. He has others places in the world to deal with alcohol; I'd like to keep my home as a safe place.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are very fortunate to have a dad who has gotten sober. Something to really be thankful for this holiday - so many people long for that and never get it. And it's something worth supporting in any way you can. A couple days without drinking doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

The father/father-in-law has to own his own sobriety, right? Why is his wife making this request for him?

[Anonymous]

it's just alcohol. It's your dad..have some compassion and make a sacrifice.. really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is coming from your mom. One of the behaviors of a spouse of an alcoholic is to try to control situations. How about talking to your dad and hearing his thoughts?

My thought too. Ask your dad!

if she was trying to protect him from his alcoholism that would be something to consider.. she is trying to protect his sobriety..which is a completely supportive thing to do..