What age to explain periods to a girl?

[Anonymous]

To the people who are saying age 2 or 3 -- I get what you mean, that you didn't hide anything. But at what age (if any) were you real about your DDs re periods -- i.e. they hurt sometimes; don't feel great; you need to worry about staining etc. Surely that's not happening at age 2. Or do people not get to those parts until the girl actually gets her period and then address them as needed? I just think it's a fine line between scaring the DD and making her think that a period is this awesome floating through the clouds experience like you see on tampon commercials.

[Anonymous]

DCUM will probably not like my name for it, but at 3, I have tried to explain what special mommy time is, and what pads are. I say, you'll get it soon enough, something like that.

[Anonymous]

Another one at age 2 or so (for both my daughter AND my son). My daughter is now 6. I haven't started talking about pain yet, but when they've asked if it hurts, I've said that it's more uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's an American Girl book called The Care and Keeping of You or something like that that covers many different topics in an introductory way and is illustrated in a non-threatening/scary way. It's a good a resource to start the conversations. I gave it to my daughter around 8 I think. She skimmed it at the time, read the period portion and came to me for more info which I provided. She was somewhat horrified but also intrigued since it is part of growing up. She now refers back to the book with some regularity and I encourage her to talk with me and ask questions, which she does.

+1 yes, this! My 11.5 y.o. got her period and it was no big deal, thanks to this book, which I gave her a couple years prior.

I got the best advice from someone: Don't present it to her. Leave it on her bed.

Same with any books about sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the people who are saying age 2 or 3 -- I get what you mean, that you didn't hide anything. But at what age (if any) were you real about your DDs re periods -- i.e. they hurt sometimes; don't feel great; you need to worry about staining etc. Surely that's not happening at age 2. Or do people not get to those parts until the girl actually gets her period and then address them as needed? I just think it's a fine line between scaring the DD and making her think that a period is this awesome floating through the clouds experience like you see on tampon commercials.

My DD has seen me rinsing out my panties in cold water. So she knows that's a possibility. She knows I have "period panties." She knows there have been times I haven't wanted to do something super active because I haven't felt well due to my period. When I've not felt well, I've explained what causes the cramps, that my body creates a safe space for a fetus and when my body realizes it's not needed, it expels it, and that's what causes the cramps. As she asks or notices, I explain. And I explain multiple times over the years, because her comprehension changes as she gets older.

DD is not scared. I don't think she's particularly looking forward to getting her period, but she's not afraid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the people who are saying age 2 or 3 -- I get what you mean, that you didn't hide anything. But at what age (if any) were you real about your DDs re periods -- i.e. they hurt sometimes; don't feel great; you need to worry about staining etc. Surely that's not happening at age 2. Or do people not get to those parts until the girl actually gets her period and then address them as needed? I just think it's a fine line between scaring the DD and making her think that a period is this awesome floating through the clouds experience like you see on tampon commercials.

Ah, that level of detail is what you were asking about. OK, if I remember correctly we had the actual conversation about that stuff starting around age 8 with that American Girl book the PPs have mentioned. Then, in 4th grade they got the "period talk" at school, so we just had an ongoing dialogue based on that and whatever questions they had. DD1 started her cycle in 6th grade, at 12, so I'm glad we had the full discussion well before that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the people who are saying age 2 or 3 -- I get what you mean, that you didn't hide anything. But at what age (if any) were you real about your DDs re periods -- i.e. they hurt sometimes; don't feel great; you need to worry about staining etc. Surely that's not happening at age 2. Or do people not get to those parts until the girl actually gets her period and then address them as needed? I just think it's a fine line between scaring the DD and making her think that a period is this awesome floating through the clouds experience like you see on tampon commercials.

My DD has seen me rinsing out my panties in cold water. So she knows that's a possibility. She knows I have "period panties." She knows there have been times I haven't wanted to do something super active because I haven't felt well due to my period. When I've not felt well, I've explained what causes the cramps, that my body creates a safe space for a fetus and when my body realizes it's not needed, it expels it, and that's what causes the cramps. As she asks or notices, I explain. And I explain multiple times over the years, because her comprehension changes as she gets older.

DD is not scared. I don't think she's particularly looking forward to getting her period, but she's not afraid.

This. No use going overboard about how painful it could be bc my recollection is that the feelings change over time -- at least they did for me. The first 6 months my period was like nothing -- stuff coming out but no pain whatsoever. After that the next yr or 2 I'd get lower back pain but it honestly would just feel like I tweaked my back. After that is when things became more "regular" and I feel like that's when my body actually started going through the "real" process -- so there would be heavy flow, cramps on day 1-2 etc. I started pretty late (14-ish) so by the time I got to that stage I was a junior/senior in HS. No use telling a young girl how bad they may feel, when their body may not feel that way ever or for years.

[Anonymous]

By 8 years old. Average start age is 11 and within normal limits 9-13 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably start as early as 7 -- she's likely to have classmates starting their periods as young as 8.

You might check out "It's So Amazing" (http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215). I haven't read it yet, but the "prequel" for younger kids, "It's Not the Stork," worked well for us.

Be careful, that "It's So Amazing" book doesn't just deal with puberty, it has information on things like anal sex, which I think is a little soon for an 8 year old. I will check out the American Girl book.

[Anonymous]

My five year old twins asked about tampons, and I just tried to explain it pretty simply and even found a very good video on Youtube. It pretty much freaked them out (they are very sensitive) but they are starting to feel better about it. I would have waited until 9 or 10 but I am trying to take a policy of openness and when they asked about the tampons i didn't want to lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the people who are saying age 2 or 3 -- I get what you mean, that you didn't hide anything. But at what age (if any) were you real about your DDs re periods -- i.e. they hurt sometimes; don't feel great; you need to worry about staining etc. Surely that's not happening at age 2. Or do people not get to those parts until the girl actually gets her period and then address them as needed? I just think it's a fine line between scaring the DD and making her think that a period is this awesome floating through the clouds experience like you see on tampon commercials.

My DD has seen me rinsing out my panties in cold water. So she knows that's a possibility. She knows I have "period panties." She knows there have been times I haven't wanted to do something super active because I haven't felt well due to my period. When I've not felt well, I've explained what causes the cramps, that my body creates a safe space for a fetus and when my body realizes it's not needed, it expels it, and that's what causes the cramps. As she asks or notices, I explain. And I explain multiple times over the years, because her comprehension changes as she gets older.

DD is not scared. I don't think she's particularly looking forward to getting her period, but she's not afraid.

Nice explanation. My DD is still an infant but my DS knows what a period is. He goes to the bathroom with me, he's seen the blood, etc. He's 4 now and knows everything. He also has basically known how babies are made since he was old enough to ask. I don't get why people don't just tell children. If you make it a mystery is part of what creates kids who feel body shame, or embarrassed about it, or like getting a period is some big deal, or the dude who grows up and thinks his girlfriend's period is gross or whatever. We talk pretty openly and without euphemisms about things here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another from probably age 2. I let my kids be in the bathroom with me, they've seen the tampon string, so we've discussed it in an age appropriate way.

Getting my period felt a bit shameful / like something to hide for me. I don't think intentionally on my Moms part, just the outgrowth of not really talking about it. So I'm really hoping to avoid that with my girls and they see it as just another of those things that happens / changes for then as their body moves from being a girl to being a woman. Plus I figure they are easier to talk to now then they will be at the time!

Sorry to be a dunce, but can someone please be more explicit about an age appropriate way to talk about this with 2/3/4 y olds? How did you phrase it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's an American Girl book called The Care and Keeping of You or something like that that covers many different topics in an introductory way and is illustrated in a non-threatening/scary way. It's a good a resource to start the conversations. I gave it to my daughter around 8 I think. She skimmed it at the time, read the period portion and came to me for more info which I provided. She was somewhat horrified but also intrigued since it is part of growing up. She now refers back to the book with some regularity and I encourage her to talk with me and ask questions, which she does.

That is a HORRIBLE book. It keeps saying over and over, emphatically, DON'T PANIC!!! It also tells the reader over and over how hard it is to talk to their mother or other woman. I'm so glad I read it before giving it to my daughter, because I returned it without letting her read it. She doesn't feel worried about going through puberty and has no problem asking me any questions at all. I don't want her reading a book that suggests she should.

[Anonymous]

I explained it to my three-year-old when she asked: "Why you got blood down there? Got owie in your privates?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As soon as she found a tampon and wanted to play with it, I started talking to her about it. So around 2. She's in sixth grade now, and although based on her weight and my genetics I'm pretty sure she's got at least five years to go, I want her to know all about things way before she experiences them. We actually just talked about periods again last summer because I got her more involved in doing laundry and told her to use cold water on any blood stains. I'm sure in her mind, she was thinking "skinned knee" but the seed has been planted.

Just like sex, we've been talking about this since she was a toddler, each talk comes at it from a slightly different angle.

I'm sorry I'm confused. Are you suggesting that she won't get a period until age 17?