joint christmas-does it ever really work?

[Anonymous]

We do this often with our families because everybody gets along really well (my parents and DH's parents have become good friends who get together without us all the time). Our son isn't the only grandchild, but he's the first baby in 12 years. The only problem getting everybody together is that everybody wants their special time with the baby. When DS was a baby, one grandparent would often pick him up and take him to another room to sit and rock him, which I found rude. Sometimes one relative would ask if they could hold the baby, but another relative would swoop in and grab him. Now that DS is 2.5 years old, he has social anxiety so it's completely overwhelming for him when relatives all descend upon him to ask him for high-fives or hugs or want to play with him.

However, I could see this working in your situation because it would be a very small gathering: yourselves and 4 grandparents, correct? If you spend the entire day together, that should leave plenty of time for each grandparent to fawn over and hold the baby as much as they want.

If you don't think it would work though, why not just do two separate Christmases? (Separate days...when our group holidays don't work out, we often have to drive to two houses in one day, which leaves everything rushed and harried).

[Anonymous]

I think its one of those things that seems like something you have to really plan for and navigate the first few times you do it but eventually it will be just normal and NBD. FWIW I come from big extended families (I have so many cousins) and therefore I know quite a few of my aunt/uncle's parents (the inlaws) and it just seems normal to have different configurations of generations in the mix. They will probably focus on the baby mostly anyway.

Hope you all have happy holidays!