Shallow question re: relationships and dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take two attractive people, make a baby, and you have little to worry about other than being a good parents and instilling values and mindset.

Bwaha, haha, haha! This is one of the silliest, most clueless things I've seen around here in a while.

That over - OP, examine why you've let your friend's stupid and superficial comments get to you. If her words are getting in your head and you're really wondering about this, you two may be cut from the same cloth and the guy may be better off with someone who'll really appreciate him. Let him go before he gets more invested.

[Anonymous]

If you are attracted to him, it really doesn't matter to your relationship what your friend thinks. If you're attracted to him and he's attracted to you, it doesn't really matter who outside your relationship finds either one of you attractive.

If you are concerned that you will stop being attracted to him, that's another story, of course, but it doesn't sound like that's what's going on.

Re: your friend, I would make some kind of crack along the lines of "Well, no one is asking YOU to date him. Can you keep the shallow commentary to yourself?"

Signed,

married to a pudgy bald man 6 years older than me and could not be happier or more attracted to him

[Anonymous]

I'll add just add that most of the friends I have/had that focus on men's looks are still single after many years of searching for the right one. And alone and unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Someone please explain to me why women starting new relationships continue to give credence and credibility to the opinions and advice of their idiot girlfriends who are ironically are almost always single or struggling in their own relationships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP you said you should lose your friend.

Just wanted to add:

I have dated a lot (since my divorced was final in February) and I have not met anyone I have a connection with. It is so hard to meet someone you connect with. I would kill to be in your shoes! Guaranteed - if you stop dating him you WILL be really sorry!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone please explain to me why women starting new relationships continue to give credence and credibility to the opinions and advice of their idiot girlfriends who are ironically are almost always single or struggling in their own relationships?

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Op here. Good points. I do think it is insensitive and will confront today if this goes on. More importantly is I do think it is bothering me because I wanted to date someone more attractive post divorce but as that failed relationship shows, we made beautiful children but he made me miserable.

[Anonymous]

How old are you OP?

Because as an adult, what others say or think about who you date shouldn't matter.

In high school we usually care what our peers think about our boyfriends and such, but as adults we could and should care less.

Why does this particular friend have such a huge advantage in your life? What does it matter whether or not she thinks your boyfriend is hot or not? As long as she is not the one sleeping w/him, how does her opinion figure into all of this??

As long as YOU are happy w/him, and YOU are attracted as well as satisfied w/this person, that is all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP you said you should lose your friend.

Just wanted to add:

I have dated a lot (since my divorced was final in February) and I have not met anyone I have a connection with. It is so hard to meet someone you connect with. I would kill to be in your shoes! Guaranteed - if you stop dating him you WILL be really sorry!

I am a never married single mom in 40's. Agree. While I am very content in my situation, I echo the PP in that "good guys who are reasonably attractive" are extremely hard to come by....especially the older you get. This guys sounds good! If i were in your shoes, I would go for it...Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Good points. I do think it is insensitive and will confront today if this goes on. More importantly is I do think it is bothering me because I wanted to date someone more attractive post divorce but as that failed relationship shows, we made beautiful children but he made me miserable.

Looks are not everything. If you weren't attracted to the guy that would be one thing, but you have an attraction and you like him. If looks mattered that much then people like Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr would never break up. There's so much more to a relationship than looks.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to STFU. You like him. If she says one more critical thing about him, ditch her.