I can finally speak up about our 10 day "staycation" with ILs

[Anonymous]

The dish thing is the only problem that I can see. That's pretty gross. The rest seem very understandable (e.g. Air and Space...boring. 90 minutes is MORE than enough) or else favors to you (no laundry). Why do you care where and how they do their laundry as long as you aren't being overburdened?

That said, I see your point about 10 days being ages for houseguests. During a trip that long, everything grates. But unless you left a lot out, they don't sound spiteful or passive aggressive or anything - just quaint and maybe a little provincial and really starting to feel their years.

Both DH and I have parents in their very early 70s and we've been dismayed to see how rapidly they've slowed down and started struggling with travel in the last few years. It's hard to see. I think that's the tipping point for many seniors and when they start to dodder a bit.

[Anonymous]

Long stays? Cheapness? Cultural differences? My parents just had visitors for 7 days (NOT BLOOD RELATED). Don't want to disclose too many specifics about who they were, but really came for a week and didn't go anywhere on their own, the entire time!

My DH has relatives I adore, we stay two nights (3 tops, if coming in late or leaving in the AM). I just think it's too much otherwise, for everyone involved.

As far as rinsing dishes, don't get it. I would have to draw the line there... Or ban them from the kitchen!

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm, maybe I am expecting a lot, but my father is 72 and doesn't act like that. My stepmother is 66 and flies all the time to the west coast.
Some people just seem to be old before their time and I am used to the hard charging types in DC and NY who never slow down and love to try new things and travel.

But overall, they are very kind and decent people...I don't dislike them - 10 days with them was just too much.

- OP

[Anonymous]

The dishes is gross. Why didn't you just offer to wash them for them - or load them in the dishwasher?
The rest is cultural or age-related, and really not a big deal.
I think 90 minutes at air & space is a LOT. And I'm 40. I think it's kind of awful in there.

[Anonymous]

As my grandfather would say "obviously you haven't lived through a war". He would say this because:
- I waste paper towels. Either you tear off a tiny bit or you let them dry and reuse them.
- I don't eat the fat on meat.
- I wash dishes when they aren't that dirty and all you need to do is rinse them and wipe them with your thumb.
- I peel apples.
- I have a dryer (he lived in the UK where no one has a dryer).

The list goes on. He was orphaned at age 17 during the first year of World War II. Whenever he told me "you haven't lived through a war" I'd chuckle and tell him you're right I'm lucky.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like a shrew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my grandfather would say "obviously you haven't lived through a war". He would say this because:
- I waste paper towels. Either you tear off a tiny bit or you let them dry and reuse them.
- I don't eat the fat on meat.
- I wash dishes when they aren't that dirty and all you need to do is rinse them and wipe them with your thumb.
- I peel apples.
- I have a dryer (he lived in the UK where no one has a dryer).

The list goes on. He was orphaned at age 17 during the first year of World War II. Whenever he told me "you haven't lived through a war" I'd chuckle and tell him you're right I'm lucky.

I mean orphaned at age 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, maybe I am expecting a lot, but my father is 72 and doesn't act like that. My stepmother is 66 and flies all the time to the west coast.
Some people just seem to be old before their time and I am used to the hard charging types in DC and NY who never slow down and love to try new things and travel.

But overall, they are very kind and decent people...I don't dislike them - 10 days with them was just too much.

- OP

It's a sad thing when you can't simply acknowledge differences without judging them as lesser.

[Anonymous]

In Europe servers make a living wage so you don't need to tip them. Every European I've met has been astonished that they make $3/hour here and have to live on tips. For someone who criticizes her in-laws for not being worldly I'm surprised you don't know this.
Also, I chuckle when you characterize the US as "the most powerful nation on earth". You sound like a typical American who has never gotten outside her head.

[Anonymous]

Only the first item of complaint is valid. The rest, WTH??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, maybe I am expecting a lot, but my father is 72 and doesn't act like that. My stepmother is 66 and flies all the time to the west coast.
Some people just seem to be old before their time and I am used to the hard charging types in DC and NY who never slow down and love to try new things and travel.

But overall, they are very kind and decent people...I don't dislike them - 10 days with them was just too much.

- OP

Um, your parents are Americans. I am 42 and I don't care to spend all da in museum and monuments. Also, I prefer my clothes air dried, and use dryer to save time, not because it's better. I also resent expectations of lavish tipping everywhere. You are totally clueless and think your (American) way is the only valid way. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As my grandfather would say "obviously you haven't lived through a war". He would say this because:
- I waste paper towels. Either you tear off a tiny bit or you let them dry and reuse them.
- I don't eat the fat on meat.
- I wash dishes when they aren't that dirty and all you need to do is rinse them and wipe them with your thumb.
- I peel apples.
- I have a dryer (he lived in the UK where no one has a dryer).

The list goes on. He was orphaned at age 17 during the first year of World War II. Whenever he told me "you haven't lived through a war" I'd chuckle and tell him you're right I'm lucky.

I mean orphaned at age 16.

.
Thanks for this list. It's helpful to hear about a different world view

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10 days with any guests is very hard. Not a vacation at all. Anyone would be relieved when that is over.

Not everything you describe is that bad. Not drying your clothes is energy efficient. Maybe it is a remnant of living in post- WWII Britain. My parents do the same thing.

Agree - and tipping is much less common in the UK because service workers are paid better. Of course, it would seem strange to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, maybe I am expecting a lot, but my father is 72 and doesn't act like that. My stepmother is 66 and flies all the time to the west coast.
Some people just seem to be old before their time and I am used to the hard charging types in DC and NY who never slow down and love to try new things and travel.

But overall, they are very kind and decent people...I don't dislike them - 10 days with them was just too much.

- OP

Yes, that makes sense. A long visit is hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my grandfather would say "obviously you haven't lived through a war". He would say this because:
- I waste paper towels. Either you tear off a tiny bit or you let them dry and reuse them.
- I don't eat the fat on meat.
- I wash dishes when they aren't that dirty and all you need to do is rinse them and wipe them with your thumb.
- I peel apples.
- I have a dryer (he lived in the UK where no one has a dryer).

The list goes on. He was orphaned at age 17 during the first year of World War II. Whenever he told me "you haven't lived through a war" I'd chuckle and tell him you're right I'm lucky.

.

Didn't we just live through two wars?