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Is this what it feels like to let yourself go?
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Anonymous
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Hey there...whether it is hair or makeup or clothes, it is all arbitrary. What is not arbitrary is that you are not on your own priority list, and that is pretty darn normal when you become a mom. Get yourself back on your list....do one new thing this week. Floss teeth, next week add drinking more water. Make a hair appointment. Small changes. Soon, spring will be here and you will be back outside...
Small changes... |
Anonymous
| OP, is your husband willing to support a little you time without grumbling, either about cost or helping with chores/ childcare? If he is, take him up on it. If not, I'm really, really sorry. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't rule out depression, OP. (Apathy is also a sign.)
As soon as I had my second (and last) and got the doctor's OK, I started exercising to drop the pregnancy weight. I was determined to take it off - for the sake of my kids. Furthermore, although some things slid during my two pregnancies, as soon as I was done, I styled my hair differently, bought some fun clothes that weren't expensive, and tried to keep on a bit of make up before going out. Work on one thing at a time. If you claim you're not depressed now, you will hit a low at some point if you don't become a bit more self-centered. And yes, I mean self-centered. |
Anonymous
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Hmm, I am presuming you are a SAHM? I say this only because on days when I am off work I find it really hard to get it estetichally together. Especially in the beginning when I was on maternity leave. I swear if I didn't work I would let myself go not because I want to but because I am not organized enough to do it all. When I was single I never understood why moms would be caught dead in the grocery store looking like hell. Now I understand and I am one of those moms!!
It took a year for me to lose the baby weight. And I still have not figured out how to exercise hard enough to keep my bones strong. It's just the thing that falls through the cracks when you have a baby. You have to work really hard to keep up your looks. When I leave in the morning and I am all polished for work. I say to myself "Wow, how did I do that!" Honestly, it is one of the main reasons I work. I also believe a little vanity is healthy. So, try to slowly pull yourself together at least once a week and eventually you will get back in to the swing of things. But, don't feel bad. I still am working on finding time to shave my legs and get a manicure. I'm not there yet either! |
Anonymous
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This is what I don't understand...moms seem to have a lot of time to post on DCUM, Facebook, Blogs, and other such online sources, but somehow have no time for showers days on end?
I hate to say this, but really, raising children is not the hardest thing to juggle. All I do is set my alarm for 6:30AM and bathe, dry my hair, dress, and apply a bit of make-up. The kids wake at 7:15. I work PT, so days I have to go to work, we breakfast and are out the door. On days I'm at home, we go out and do fun activities. I don't get the difficulties in keeping up with personal hygiene. If I can find an hour a day for computer time, I can find another hour for myself. For the ususal DCUMers, if you say you don't spend at least an hour a day on the computer you are a liar. This boils down to priorities. |
Anonymous
| OP -- yes, that is what is meant by letting yourself go, and as the PP pointed out, it probably isn't that you don't have the time, but that the priorities have shifted. But nothing is set in stone, and it is a good idea for your self esteem, your health, your marriage, and even your children, for you to try to work some of that attention to yourself right into your priorities. Even if the kids seem like they are demanding everything from you, and then some, it is good for children to learn that mom has limits, and sometimes even takes care of herself first. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
I did not say being on the computer sucks, what am I doing right now? What do you think I do often? I make my comments as a mom with 3 children under 5. I was a SAHM for two years and now work part-time. I learned the hard way that sleeping in and procrastinating in front of the TV and computer leads to a huge waste of time. Once I learned to get off the computer and into bed at 9:30 it made it much easier to get up at 6:30 and get myself ready before the kids woke. Oh and if you do have to shower when the kids are awake there are quite a few things to do with them. As far as getting an extra 20min of sleep or whatever, it all boils down to what is important to you. I'm sure it is quite possible, as there are millions of working moms who go back to work when their infant is 6-12 weeks old and they still have to look somewhat presentable when they roll into work, sleep or no sleep. To each his own, but it is really easy to make a ton of excuses before taking a look at how your own priorities and behavior effect how your day and self image is impacted. I've seen it from my own experience that when I make myself a priority and do things like getting to bed early and exercise early morning person hygiene leads to a much more productive day and less B.O. Don't get so excited. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Hey, PP, I am not talking about finding the time for personal hygiene, etc. I am talking about the desire to take care of such things. I am talking about a complete lack of motivation, a complete lack of caring.
Anyway, I am also a SAHM. I hate to feed into negative stereotypes of SAHMs letting themselves go, but I guess if the shoe fits... I do appreciate all your insight. For the record, I have already flossed my teeth tonight and just drank a big glass of water. 
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Anonymous
sounds like you have issues outside of the realm of normal. You need a professional evaluation or take some time for introspection. It is not fair to your partner to not care, and once your children can feel embarrassment about the appearance of their mother, it is not fair to them either. |
Anonymous
PP, you are an ass. The OP needs a professional because she has a small child/toddler/infant and her priorities have shifted? I would say her partner needs help if he is embarrassed by her. She is not a bag lady, just not as superficial as you apparently are. |
Anonymous
| I promise every poster here that no matter what she does, at some point, her children will be embarrassed to be seen with her. It's coming sooner or later, no matter how much you work out and floss! |
Anonymous
You are a nut. |
Anonymous
I think your kids will be embarrassed to be seen with you because they have most likely inherited your superficiality. Seriously? Kids do not feel embarrassed of parents until they hit the tween years and at that point you can be a supermodel, THEY WILL STILL NOT WANT YOU NEAR THEM. I am sure at that point your out of date "cool clothes" and old person trying to look young and polished look will wig them out and they will want you to walk 20 paces behind them. Pull your head out of your bum and stop berating OP. |
Anonymous
| Actually, I was talking about the tween years--- exactly. Very surprising how mothers with young children have trouble mentally fast forwarding that decade... how could you think I meant anything else? Really! |