My son is a latchkey kid now and I feel terrible. Help.

[Anonymous]

Another latchkey kid (from 7 on). I was fine. Your DS will be fine. Our culture infantilizes perfectly capable kids. Yes, make sure he is comfortable, has an emergency plan, knows the neighbors and their phone numbers, knows how to call 911-- just in case. But basically, if he's a responsible kid, give him a chance.

here are the VA child protective services guidelines-- these guidelines relate to situations where CPS has been asked to assess-- eg, for foster kids- but they are reasonable guidelines for parents as well:

This is the html version of the file http://www.dss.virginia.gov/files/division/dfs/cps/guidelines/alone.pdf.
Google automatically generates html versions of documents as we crawl the web.
Page 1
CHILDREN HOME ALONE
Virginia state statutes do not set a specific age after which a child legally can stay
alone. * Age alone is not a very good indicator of a child's maturity level.
In determining whether a child is capable of being left alone and whether a parent is
providing adequate supervision in latchkey situations, child protective services (CPS)
will assess several areas. These areas include:
• child's level of maturity. CPS will want to assess whether the child is
physically capable of taking care of himself; is mentally capable of
recognizing and avoiding danger and making sound decisions; is
emotionally ready to be alone; knows what to do and whom to call if an
emergency arises; and has special physical, emotional, or behavioral
problems that make it unwise to leave be left alone. It is important to note
that a child who can take care of him/herself may not be ready to care
for younger children.
• accessibility of those responsible for the child. CPS will want to
determine the location and proximity of the parents, whether they can be
reached by phone and can get home quickly if needed, and whether the
child knows the parents' location and how to reach them.
• the situation. CPS will want to assess the time of day and length of time
the children are left alone; the safety of the home or neighborhood; whether
the parents have arranged for nearby adults to be available in case a
problem arises; and whether there is a family history of child abuse or
neglect.
* Some localities have ordinances concerning the age at which a child may be left without
supervision.

[Anonymous]

Here are the Fairfax County Guidelines. They are just guidelines, not the law:

http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/dfs/ChildrenYouth/homealone.htm

Age Guidelines ...

7 years and under:
Should not be left alone for any period of time. This may include leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds, and backyards. The determining consideration would be the dangers in the environment and the ability of the caretaker to intervene.

8 to 10 years:
Should not be left alone for more than 1½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.

11 to 12 years:
May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night or in circumstances requiring inappropriate responsibility.

13 to 15 years:
May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.

16 to 17 years:
May be left unsupervised (in some cases, for up to two consecutive overnight periods).

[Anonymous]

Don't feel guilty -- you are obviously doing the best you can. If it doesn't match your ideals, well, how many of us can claim we are 100% perfect parents? We all come short in different ways.

My kids are always asking for "down time" and I actually think it's pretty important for them. Older DC will actually turn down invites to get down time. Kids in this area are under a lot of pressure, and some need more space than others.

[Anonymous]

I loved coming home to an empty house. My older brother was supposed to come home from school and stay at home w/ me but that hardly ever happened. I started babysitting when I was 11!

[Anonymous]

My son was a latchkey kid for about three years. I thought everything was fine. Many years later, he told me that he was often lonely and cried while he was home alone. He never said anything because he thought there was nothing I could do about it. As an adult, he brought up the subject because we were talking about his kids having cell phones, etc.

[Anonymous]

I was a latchkey kid and loved the independence. My mom and I had a nice routine - I called her when I got home - had a break (a little TV or whatever) and then homework, practiced piano etc.. We kept a key with the neighbors and also one in the garage in case I ever forgot my keys (which did happen from time to time). The rules were to let her know if friends were coming over and boys were never allowed in the house (I was sort of a tomboy and initially I thought it was because they would make a mess or eat all of the food - shows how sheltered I was...lol). Anyway - a little structure will will probably help with the transition and I'm sure everything will be fine. Good luck!