Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?

[Anonymous]

My IL don't like to vacation much so they only come to visit us at home. My family meets at the beach for 5 days in the summer and DH said this year was his favorite year. Not really sure why, the weather wasn't that great but for some reason he has a really good mental book of memories from this year.

I guess his IL vacation went well but my family isn't crazy. His isn't either but they are sort of oddballs, in a mostly loveable way.

[Anonymous]

Great thread! This year instead of sharing a house, we rented three smaller houses next to each other along the beach. It was perfect. The kids all had fun together, everyone has great shared memories, but we still had down time alone when we needed it. Highly recommend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't start an IL beach thread but I commented on several. Ours was about as expected. DD (2yo) got HFM (not expected) and was grumpy and clingy for the second half of the trip. My MIL tried to win her affection by plying her with candy. DD told MIL multiple times in no uncertain terms, "I no want you, I want Mommy." When MIL ignored her and continued to shove candy and bribes in her face, DD told her "I no like you." I told DD "That's not nice, it hurts Grammy's feelings." MIL had an epic breakdown (seriously crying and screaming) that DD doesn't like her and DD and I were 'talking about her behind her back."
Then FIL screamed at MIL for letting her self concept be ruled by a two year old. Then DH screamed at me and said I must've said 'something' to set off his mother (he later apologized). Then I tried to clear the air with MIL and she laughed it off saying it was no big deal...but refused to speak directly to me for the remaining two days.
My side of the family (who we also saw on the trip) was no picnic either. I decided next year we are going on vacation by ourselves, even if it means going somewhere other than the beach.

Hmm, I wonder where your child would have gotten the idea that it's okay to treat her grandmother this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't start an IL beach thread but I commented on several. Ours was about as expected. DD (2yo) got HFM (not expected) and was grumpy and clingy for the second half of the trip. My MIL tried to win her affection by plying her with candy. DD told MIL multiple times in no uncertain terms, "I no want you, I want Mommy." When MIL ignored her and continued to shove candy and bribes in her face, DD told her "I no like you." I told DD "That's not nice, it hurts Grammy's feelings." MIL had an epic breakdown (seriously crying and screaming) that DD doesn't like her and DD and I were 'talking about her behind her back."
Then FIL screamed at MIL for letting her self concept be ruled by a two year old. Then DH screamed at me and said I must've said 'something' to set off his mother (he later apologized). Then I tried to clear the air with MIL and she laughed it off saying it was no big deal...but refused to speak directly to me for the remaining two days.
My side of the family (who we also saw on the trip) was no picnic either. I decided next year we are going on vacation by ourselves, even if it means going somewhere other than the beach.

Hmm, I wonder where your child would have gotten the idea that it's okay to treat her grandmother this way?

Why, there's no mystery here. Everyone knows negative behaviors displayed by 2 year olds are learned from their mothers or fathers. Which IL you are determines which parent taught them that behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great thread! This year instead of sharing a house, we rented three smaller houses next to each other along the beach. It was perfect. The kids all had fun together, everyone has great shared memories, but we still had down time alone when we needed it. Highly recommend!

Love, love, love the seperate house idea- if only!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We declined the beach trip with the in-laws. Then we would have felt too badly about booking a separate beach trip so I never saw a grain of sand all summer. The in-laws came to us and it stunk. We tried to stay busy doing DC touristy stuff, but it was equally bad if not worse hosting them here than at the beach. I probably spent more on food and entertainment here than if we had rented a beach house too. I posted on one of the beach trip threads how everyone would be perfectly nice to my face at the beach, and then DH received an emailed list of grievances the day we got home. There were line-items complaining about our infant, toddler and me - ofcourse none about DH or any of the other young cousins. We didn't get an email this year, but I think they aired their grievances plenty while they were here. I honestly don't know what the answer is, but I can't spend time and money to get back grief anymore. I don't think they realize how hard I've tried to be part of their family and do things the way they want, and I'm sick of it and frankly very hurt. DH thinks their jerks, but not bad enough to cut them out of his life, and still wants them to see their grandkids, which involves me.

Send DH and the kids to them for the occasional long weekend, and for the love of God go to the beach with your nuclear family next summer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't start an IL beach thread but I commented on several. Ours was about as expected. DD (2yo) got HFM (not expected) and was grumpy and clingy for the second half of the trip. My MIL tried to win her affection by plying her with candy. DD told MIL multiple times in no uncertain terms, "I no want you, I want Mommy." When MIL ignored her and continued to shove candy and bribes in her face, DD told her "I no like you." I told DD "That's not nice, it hurts Grammy's feelings." MIL had an epic breakdown (seriously crying and screaming) that DD doesn't like her and DD and I were 'talking about her behind her back."
Then FIL screamed at MIL for letting her self concept be ruled by a two year old. Then DH screamed at me and said I must've said 'something' to set off his mother (he later apologized). Then I tried to clear the air with MIL and she laughed it off saying it was no big deal...but refused to speak directly to me for the remaining two days.
My side of the family (who we also saw on the trip) was no picnic either. I decided next year we are going on vacation by ourselves, even if it means going somewhere other than the beach.

I like your FIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't start an IL beach thread but I commented on several. Ours was about as expected. DD (2yo) got HFM (not expected) and was grumpy and clingy for the second half of the trip. My MIL tried to win her affection by plying her with candy. DD told MIL multiple times in no uncertain terms, "I no want you, I want Mommy." When MIL ignored her and continued to shove candy and bribes in her face, DD told her "I no like you." I told DD "That's not nice, it hurts Grammy's feelings." MIL had an epic breakdown (seriously crying and screaming) that DD doesn't like her and DD and I were 'talking about her behind her back."
Then FIL screamed at MIL for letting her self concept be ruled by a two year old. Then DH screamed at me and said I must've said 'something' to set off his mother (he later apologized). Then I tried to clear the air with MIL and she laughed it off saying it was no big deal...but refused to speak directly to me for the remaining two days.
My side of the family (who we also saw on the trip) was no picnic either. I decided next year we are going on vacation by ourselves, even if it means going somewhere other than the beach.

Hmm, I wonder where your child would have gotten the idea that it's okay to treat her grandmother this way?

2-year-olds are blunt they also say 'i want daddy, not mommy' or whatever and a sick 2 yo is going to be that much more uncensored. Sounds like you haven't been around normal 2-year-olds. I seriously doubt the PP shouts in her MIL's face "I no like you!"

[Anonymous]

Seriously, you people who complain about vacation need some perspective about real challenges and problems people face. Especially those of you who have the rental costs paid for by ILs or parents. Here's something: if it's miserable, don't go, or make adjustments like the PP who stays close by in another house.

[Anonymous]

We visited my ILs at the beach and it was lovely. DD had fun, DH was happy to see his parents and relax and I had a great time sleeping in because ILs taught DD to come find them when she woke up so we could rest. I fel quite lucky reading these posts - we always go to teh beach with ILs during the summer and I always love it, but they are the sweetest, least pushy people ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't start an IL beach thread but I commented on several. Ours was about as expected. DD (2yo) got HFM (not expected) and was grumpy and clingy for the second half of the trip. My MIL tried to win her affection by plying her with candy. DD told MIL multiple times in no uncertain terms, "I no want you, I want Mommy." When MIL ignored her and continued to shove candy and bribes in her face, DD told her "I no like you." I told DD "That's not nice, it hurts Grammy's feelings." MIL had an epic breakdown (seriously crying and screaming) that DD doesn't like her and DD and I were 'talking about her behind her back."
Then FIL screamed at MIL for letting her self concept be ruled by a two year old. Then DH screamed at me and said I must've said 'something' to set off his mother (he later apologized). Then I tried to clear the air with MIL and she laughed it off saying it was no big deal...but refused to speak directly to me for the remaining two days.
My side of the family (who we also saw on the trip) was no picnic either. I decided next year we are going on vacation by ourselves, even if it means going somewhere other than the beach.

Hmm, I wonder where your child would have gotten the idea that it's okay to treat her grandmother this way?

2-year-olds are blunt they also say 'i want daddy, not mommy' or whatever and a sick 2 yo is going to be that much more uncensored. Sounds like you haven't been around normal 2-year-olds. I seriously doubt the PP shouts in her MIL's face "I no like you!"

Hahaha! This is me...DD was in a serious "I no like..." phase at the time - mostly "I no like mommy and daddy." She loves MIL and usually is very loving with her. Poor kid was just miserable - fever and hadn't eaten for two days - and wanted to be left alone.
And to the other PP, I like my FIL too! He keeps the rest of the family (DH and me included) in line.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws have invited us to go on a cruise with them next summer. This is a great thread to prepare!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We visited my ILs at the beach and it was lovely. DD had fun, DH was happy to see his parents and relax and I had a great time sleeping in because ILs taught DD to come find them when she woke up so we could rest. I fel quite lucky reading these posts - we always go to teh beach with ILs during the summer and I always love it, but they are the sweetest, least pushy people ever.

This is what the righteous PP does not understand. If you only have one week vacation, no matter how much money, do you really want to spend it with pleasant people or unpleasant people? PP sounds like my MIL - trying to make difficult things nonexistent, and little things a production. Way to spin!

We have our own plans and our own things to do, and very limited time. In fact, we have ONE WEEK off! Don't make me the bad guy if I don't come with you to someplace we don't even like, without you asking if it works for us, when; or giving us one consideration you give your own daughters and their families. After all, it's fine for the BIL's to not go (or to go for only two nights, before they can't take it anymore) - but if it's the DIL - then its a BFD. Then, when your son arrives, all of the rooms have been taken. Non family have their own rooms. MIL somehow expects DH and our grown children to sleep in one room - no, one bed (!!!!). Really, are you kidding? Why not say - "my daughters and I are going on vacation. And I give a flying fork if you go. In fact, I will give all of you one bed to prove it. Because I am a bitter, nasty person who is only getting worse." I would like to see the oppositional PP in this situation with these people.

So MIL, you can stop chiming in now, thank you. Maybe instead read some books on how to be a decent MIL, grandmother, mother.....or person.

[Anonymous]

As bad as I anticipated. It will be a lllooonnggg time before we do a road trip again and probably our last vacation with the in-laws. Still trying to hold in my "I told you so."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't start an IL beach thread but I commented on several. Ours was about as expected. DD (2yo) got HFM (not expected) and was grumpy and clingy for the second half of the trip. My MIL tried to win her affection by plying her with candy. DD told MIL multiple times in no uncertain terms, "I no want you, I want Mommy." When MIL ignored her and continued to shove candy and bribes in her face, DD told her "I no like you." I told DD "That's not nice, it hurts Grammy's feelings." MIL had an epic breakdown (seriously crying and screaming) that DD doesn't like her and DD and I were 'talking about her behind her back."
Then FIL screamed at MIL for letting her self concept be ruled by a two year old. Then DH screamed at me and said I must've said 'something' to set off his mother (he later apologized). Then I tried to clear the air with MIL and she laughed it off saying it was no big deal...but refused to speak directly to me for the remaining two days.
My side of the family (who we also saw on the trip) was no picnic either. I decided next year we are going on vacation by ourselves, even if it means going somewhere other than the beach.

Hmm, I wonder where your child would have gotten the idea that it's okay to treat her grandmother this way?

2-year-olds are blunt they also say 'i want daddy, not mommy' or whatever and a sick 2 yo is going to be that much more uncensored. Sounds like you haven't been around normal 2-year-olds. I seriously doubt the PP shouts in her MIL's face "I no like you!"

Maybe we should all start and see if it works.