Every specialist thinks my dd is fine.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why a diagnosis is going to help OP here. It may help her daughter if there are services that will help her socially - but it seems like OP is set on fixing a personality she doesn't like, not actually helping her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why a diagnosis is going to help OP here. It may help her daughter if there are services that will help her socially - but it seems like OP is set on fixing a personality she doesn't like, not actually helping her child.

Her daughter can get an IEP for social/communication issues at school. My kid with ASD/Asperger's has one and it's been immensely helpful in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, see a therapist for yourself so you can learn to support and accept your daughter for who she is? And if you think she's has social skills to work on, I think there are groups and approaches to that that don't require any sort of diagnosis. Personalities are different. It's not always a disorder.

When everybody tells you that your kid is fine. But you as the mother know that something is wrong how do you get help. Even the groups you suggest will reject you because your kid looks normal, acts normal in public but is a total robot in private then what do you do.

That is not true. Ivymount has a social skills class and you do not have to be on the spectrum or otherwise diagnosed to do it.

[Anonymous]

I would ask your daughter if there is someone she'd like to have over for a play date, and start inviting. Don't worry if they don't reciprocate, you just want to get her out there. Also pursue a social skills group. Your daughter sounds like mine but mine is ten now and doing the play date is winding down. They are moving to setting up their own arrangements. Also, speak to the school counselor and request that she be included in a lunch bunch. On her birthday, have a party and invite all the girls from her class. Let her see you being social so she can model that behavior.

[Anonymous]

This happened to us with my DS -- also n early reader, but not as early as this. Three different evaluations told us he was fine, in spite of a whole list of issues. We finally saw a developmental pediatrician who diagnosed Aspergers. That was 10 years ago and no one would question the diagnosis now.

OP, your DC sounds like she does have an ASD and I would find a good developmental pediatrician. This person needs to observe your DD in a classroom setting (thats what was missing in our earlier evaluations). A one on one meeting tells you nothing.

I get so frustrated with the people who say such a child is "just quirky." The longer you wait to get interventions and support, the more difficult it is to treat. The diagnosis matters for a whole lot of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, see a therapist for yourself so you can learn to support and accept your daughter for who she is? And if you think she's has social skills to work on, I think there are groups and approaches to that that don't require any sort of diagnosis. Personalities are different. It's not always a disorder.

You don;t know what you are talking about yet you come here and opine. "I think there are groups?" What do you really have to offer here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to us with my DS -- also n early reader, but not as early as this. Three different evaluations told us he was fine, in spite of a whole list of issues. We finally saw a developmental pediatrician who diagnosed Aspergers. That was 10 years ago and no one would question the diagnosis now.

OP, your DC sounds like she does have an ASD and I would find a good developmental pediatrician. This person needs to observe your DD in a classroom setting (thats what was missing in our earlier evaluations). A one on one meeting tells you nothing.

I get so frustrated with the people who say such a child is "just quirky." The longer you wait to get interventions and support, the more difficult it is to treat. The diagnosis matters for a whole lot of reasons.

The only developmental pediatrician in the area who goes observe at school is Dr Shapiro and OP's child is too old since Shapiro only takes new patients 4 yrs old and younger. Her best bet is ADOS/ADI-R which Children's center for autism spectrum disorders does among others.

[Anonymous]

Sheldon has Asperger's.

Your daughter probably has that too!
You know, the diagnosis that was dropped and rolled into the ASD. One consequence is that the threshold to be diagnosed as High-functioning Autistic is not quite the same as the old Aspie diagnosis. A particularity of the latter was highly developed verbal expression at an early age.

Try to find the right doctor. A label can mean the difference between free services and expensive ones. My son belonged to a free social skills groups in his MCPS elementary school.

Whatever the diagnosis, I would greatly encourage you to role-play social situations and intensively train her social acuity. At home systematically with the family, with her peers whom you invite for playdates (very important) and also possibly in social skills groups. Alvord and Baker is well-respected and has Asperger's groups for kids. They're quite expensive, but interesting to set a baseline upon which you can build. You don't want her to end up like Sheldon, do you?

There are a ton of books and seminars on the subject, such as Thinking Social, Social Detective, etc.
Try to engage your daughter in this as well, she'll learn faster. Discuss stories and events shes interested in, from the inferential point of view - characters' motivations and feelings. It's a great exercise. Practice makes perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, see a therapist for yourself so you can learn to support and accept your daughter for who she is? And if you think she's has social skills to work on, I think there are groups and approaches to that that don't require any sort of diagnosis. Personalities are different. It's not always a disorder.

When everybody tells you that your kid is fine. But you as the mother know that something is wrong how do you get help. Even the groups you suggest will reject you because your kid looks normal, acts normal in public but is a total robot in private then what do you do.

That is not true. Ivymount has a social skills class and you do not have to be on the spectrum or otherwise diagnosed to do it.

Yes, lots of places have social skill groups where kids don't have to be on the spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The early reading is called hyperlexia. Not everyone who is hyperlexic is on the spectrum. Your DD may have Non-Verbal Learning Disorder. It's pretty rare, and some are hyperlexic:

http://www.ldonline.org/article/6114/

Whether or not she has NV LD or any LD, you may want to think about enrolling her in a social skills group. Social skills are exactly that skills that need practice. Some kids come to socializing naturally and others need a little help. One-on-one play dates will also help her practice her social skills.

There's a good checklist on how to have a successful play date in the back of this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Much-Work-Your-Friend/dp/0743254651/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410484534&sr=1-1&keywords=it%27s+so+much+work+to+be+your+friend

Not all early readers are hyperlexic - hyperlexia means they can "read" perfectly but not understand what they are reading. If they can comprehend what they read, it's not hyperlexia.

Nope, some hyperlexics have difficulty with comprehension; others do not.

https://www.wisconsinmedicalsociety.org/professional/savant-syndrome/resources/articles/hyperlexia-reading-precociousness-or-savant-skill/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The early reading is called hyperlexia. Not everyone who is hyperlexic is on the spectrum. Your DD may have Non-Verbal Learning Disorder. It's pretty rare, and some are hyperlexic:

http://www.ldonline.org/article/6114/

Whether or not she has NV LD or any LD, you may want to think about enrolling her in a social skills group. Social skills are exactly that skills that need practice. Some kids come to socializing naturally and others need a little help. One-on-one play dates will also help her practice her social skills.

There's a good checklist on how to have a successful play date in the back of this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Much-Work-Your-Friend/dp/0743254651/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410484534&sr=1-1&keywords=it%27s+so+much+work+to+be+your+friend

Not all early readers are hyperlexic - hyperlexia means they can "read" perfectly but not understand what they are reading. If they can comprehend what they read, it's not hyperlexia.

Nope, some hyperlexics have difficulty with comprehension; others do not.

https://www.wisconsinmedicalsociety.org/professional/savant-syndrome/resources/articles/hyperlexia-reading-precociousness-or-savant-skill/

Thanks for posting the link!

I was hyperlexic type I as a child. Started reading at 18 months and by the time I was 6 yrs old, I was reading high school level books for pleasure. Interestingly, my DS is on the spectrum and also an early reader but nowhere as precocious as I was. He's only about 5 grade levels ahead not 10 like I was at his age.

[Anonymous]

So now she is... what.. 6?

There are many reasons why emotions are difficult for some children, besides an spectrum diagnostic.

Our situation was ADHD, which was diagnosed later, when our child was 8. To call this ADHD is gross misnomer, because these children can direct their attention quite well -- just not on demand, and not on multiple areas. Which explain the hyperfocus on reading, but not on friends. A child obsessed with reading will miss the opportunity to pay attention to anything else, and will start to see a playdate as a chore. (As well as ballet, music, swimming, soccer, or anything you try with them that is outside their area of focus. Even if they are naturally talented at it). Diagnosing such a child is difficult. No teacher will raise a red flag, since they do well in school. Emotional needs are only addressed in an IEP if they interfere with learning the curriculum, or if they interfere with others learning the curricullum. A non-hyper kid who coasts through school is only ignored. We had one school counselor in 2nd grade, who took her seriously and helped her (and us) tremendously. She left after one year and nobody cared anymore.

The problem still is, that ADHD is hard to diagnose at a young age, even with precocious kids. But the good news is that modelling, modelling, modelling your emotions will eventually start to rub on her. Social skills can be taught, but impulse control is harder -- not impossible -- to teach.

Your bright child will *need* more than others, a spot in the AAP program somewhere. Any diagnostic you bring to the school in these early years will interfere with that assignment. The help for kids who do well in school is minimal. Why do it?

I would simply focus on social skill development and impulse control with a good Cognitive Behavior Therapist. Support her as she learns and develop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So now she is... what.. 6?

There are many reasons why emotions are difficult for some children, besides an spectrum diagnostic.

Our situation was ADHD, which was diagnosed later, when our child was 8. To call this ADHD is gross misnomer, because these children can direct their attention quite well -- just not on demand, and not on multiple areas. Which explain the hyperfocus on reading, but not on friends. A child obsessed with reading will miss the opportunity to pay attention to anything else, and will start to see a playdate as a chore. (As well as ballet, music, swimming, soccer, or anything you try with them that is outside their area of focus. Even if they are naturally talented at it). Diagnosing such a child is difficult. No teacher will raise a red flag, since they do well in school. Emotional needs are only addressed in an IEP if they interfere with learning the curriculum, or if they interfere with others learning the curricullum. A non-hyper kid who coasts through school is only ignored. We had one school counselor in 2nd grade, who took her seriously and helped her (and us) tremendously. She left after one year and nobody cared anymore.

The problem still is, that ADHD is hard to diagnose at a young age, even with precocious kids. But the good news is that modelling, modelling, modelling your emotions will eventucally start to rub on her. Social skills can be taught, but impulse control is harder -- not impossible -- to teach.

Your bright child will *need* more than others, a spot in the AAP program somewhere. Any diagnostic you bring to the school in these early years will interfere with that assignment. The help for kids who do well in school is minimal. Why do it?

I would simply focus on social skill development and impulse control with a good Cognitive Behavior Therapist. Support her as she learns and develop.

I also suggest finding a CBT. A social skills group would be great too. It sounds like she needs to learnt he art of give and take and conversation. It may be the she is behind because she has never had a chance to practice being social.

[Anonymous]

Focus on your daughter's strengths instead of her weaknesses and support her in being happy instead of trying to force some kind of diagnosis on her no matter what. If she is unhappy then it's a different story. But she might not need the help YOU think she so desperately should be getting.

[Anonymous]

Hyperlexia is a serious problem. When kids are hyperlexic they can and do read everything but they cannot understand the content, particularly more abstract content. When my DS with an ASD started reading at a very young age we were advised to slow him down and ask questions about what he was reading, to teach him comprehension,