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[quote=Anonymous]So now she is... what.. 6?

There are many reasons why emotions are difficult for some children, besides an spectrum diagnostic.

Our situation was ADHD, which was diagnosed later, when our child was 8. To call this ADHD is  gross misnomer, because these children can direct their attention quite well -- just not on demand, and not on multiple areas. Which explain the hyperfocus on reading, but not on friends. A child obsessed with reading will miss the opportunity to pay attention to anything else, and will start to see a playdate as a chore. (As well as ballet, music, swimming, soccer, or anything you try with them that is outside their area of focus. Even if they are naturally talented at it). Diagnosing such a child is difficult. No teacher will raise a red flag, since they do well in school. Emotional needs are only addressed in an IEP if they interfere with learning the curriculum, or if they interfere with others learning the curricullum. A non-hyper kid who coasts through school is only ignored. We had one school counselor in 2nd grade, who took her seriously and helped her (and us) tremendously. She left after one year and nobody cared anymore.

The problem still is, that ADHD is hard to diagnose at a young age, even with precocious kids. But the good news is that modelling, modelling, modelling your emotions will eventually start to rub on her. Social skills can be taught, but impulse control is harder -- not impossible -- to teach.

Your bright child will *need* more than others, a spot in the AAP program somewhere. Any diagnostic you bring to the school in these early years will interfere with that assignment. The help for kids who do well in school is minimal. Why do it?

I would simply focus on social skill development and impulse control with a good Cognitive Behavior Therapist. Support her as she learns and develop.

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