How has infertility and/or loss affected your religious beliefs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have become more conservative about abortion and my definition of life.

Funny, I've become more liberal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have become more conservative about abortion and my definition of life.

Funny, I've become more liberal.

I've become more conservative as well.

[Anonymous]

Agnostic before, agnostic now. Not having religious faith made IF a little easier for me. After miscarriages, I experienced sadness, frustration, sometimes intense jealousy. But thankfully I didn't have any guilt or cognitive dissonance about why a "loving god" would "allow" my body to reject pregnancy. IF is tough enough without a religious belief system, and I can't imagine how hard it is for women and men of faith. It's like they have an extra layer of questions and pain that I have not experienced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have become more conservative about abortion and my definition of life.

Funny, I've become more liberal.

I've become more conservative as well.

My views have shifted, too. Less conservative about defining when pregnancy begins but more conservative about abortion. (If that makes sense.)

As far as other aspects of religion, I did not follow my church's teachings on this topic and I have struggled with it. I am still struggling with it. I think a lot of this technology is so new, there is no way non medical professionals (even clergy) can keep up or comprehend it without experiencing it - much less make legitimate (in my eyes) recommendations or policies on it. I feel like every step I had to really pray over and examine my own conscience, because I could not rely on the church for guidance for this. It disappointed me but I don't feel remorse about the steps I've chosen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agnostic before, agnostic now. Not having religious faith made IF a little easier for me. After miscarriages, I experienced sadness, frustration, sometimes intense jealousy. But thankfully I didn't have any guilt or cognitive dissonance about why a "loving god" would "allow" my body to reject pregnancy. IF is tough enough without a religious belief system, and I can't imagine how hard it is for women and men of faith. It's like they have an extra layer of questions and pain that I have not experienced.

That is very empathetic, thanks for your point of view. My husband is agnostic too and a lot of decisions are simpler for him. Not that he takes them lightly but it seems like he does not need to labor over them like I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have become more conservative about abortion and my definition of life.

Funny, I've become more liberal.

Me too. I've always been pro-choice since I don't consider it my place to impose my beliefs on others, but I've also always though I personally could never abort. (This is similar to my having moral and religious reasons for being vegetarian, but not expecting everyone to share them.) Multiple losses, and the clinical nature of ART treatments have changed my own belief systems about what constitutes life even for me. Honestly, I had to take a much more practical and less spiritual view toward the early stages of pregnancy...because the reality is that for me that on average a first trimester pregnancy was not a potential life.

[Anonymous]

I feel like my faith is even stronger now because now I am more thankful for all the other blessings in my life. We ended up childless and at peace knowing we weren't meant to be parents.

[Anonymous]

Agnostic before and agnostic now. We have three kids thanks to IVF (with many, many losses / failed cycles between them). One thing that infertility taught me is that the inability to conceive and have a child has NOTHING to do with justice or karma or kindness or humanity or being good or being bad or being deserving or being anything other than unlucky. It's just the luck of the draw. That simple and awful.

And for the people (aka assholes) who always throw out adoption as the "easy" righteous option, FU** YOU. Adoption isn't easy, it isn't cheap, and even when all the stars and moons align you can still find yourself - as we did - bitterly, bitterly disappointed.

[Anonymous]

I've realized that God, if she does exist, doesn't owe me shit: Just because I suffered three unrelated losses, that doesn't mean I've got a healthy kid coming my way. Life isn't fair. I still pray for health and safety, though. Habit.

[Anonymous]

Probably. But I have had other events that have contributed. So not just infertility.

Really, it has made me wish science would come up with a way to turn off fertility until a woman is ready. So that you are not wasting all those good years when you are trying NOT to get pregnant. I want a way that it stays off for stupid and irresponsible people. While it is hard for people around me get pregnant and I don't. But I am extremely bitter about drug addicts, abusers and such who end up having kid after kid after kid.

I really feel I just need a vacation from being me.

[Anonymous]

Having been through IVF, I have also become more conservative regarding my personal beliefs regarding abortion. No way do I think it should be made illegal, but I feel differently about when life begins.

[Anonymous]

Nothing in frer. Today was day 7. I do think I peed in middle of night around 3 or 4.. Could that have crewed this up. Or am I doomed

[Anonymous]

I was a religious Catholic before, and five years into TTC, I am still religious. While I looked forward to having children, I don't believe anyone has a right to have children. I have never considered ivf or anything else against my beliefs. My faith has helped me accept things that are difficult. Infertility can be consuming, but I have always believed we should live the best we can in our present state. I focus on trying to be the best childless woman I can. Without children, I am more able to do for others.

I have struggled with the heartache and longing we all feel. I have privately wept when others have babies with no trouble. The worst was when my sil gave birth to their third. I look forward to the day when we are in a position to adopt or foster, but that isn't here either. But I try to live in the present and be grateful for my wonderful husband. I realize many don't have a great spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a religious Catholic before, and five years into TTC, I am still religious. While I looked forward to having children, I don't believe anyone has a right to have children. I have never considered ivf or anything else against my beliefs. My faith has helped me accept things that are difficult. Infertility can be consuming, but I have always believed we should live the best we can in our present state. I focus on trying to be the best childless woman I can. Without children, I am more able to do for others.

I have struggled with the heartache and longing we all feel. I have privately wept when others have babies with no trouble. The worst was when my sil gave birth to their third. I look forward to the day when we are in a position to adopt or foster, but that isn't here either. But I try to live in the present and be grateful for my wonderful husband. I realize many don't have a great spouse.

Wonderful outlook. I hope to get to here too.

[Anonymous]

I realize I need to let go and stop trying to control everything, time everything, perfect everything. It's not up to me and that's okay. I can roll with things. I can live in the present and make the most of it, rather than making assumptions about the future. I can have faith that my efforts in the present will be for the best.