Restaurants - is this rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why "tip well"? You're leaving early giving them less trouble making less mess... I don't get it.

Why tip well? Because wait staff make about 2.00 an hour without tips. Because they are waiters. Because they live off tips. Because most on DCUM are members of the 1%. Because.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I try to go out to dinner at least twice a week because I work from home and it's very isolating. We bring our six month old. At the first sign of trouble, we leave. We have about a 70% complete dinner success rate. Lately it's been bothering me though that we sometimes have to ask our waiter to box up our food. We tip well (25%+) but is it rude to go out to dinner knowing about a third of the time we'll have to have everything packed up? I've never been a waitress, so I really have no idea if we're being a pain to the staff.

Wait, you're upset that you have to ASK the server to box things up? I can tell you as a former server that if you had started your meal, and the restaurant was busy, it may or may not have occurred to me that you wanted your food to go. When you ask for the check, ask to have the food boxed up as well. A good server on the top of their game will have already thought of that, but it's silly to set yourself up for delays or to get annoyed by not asking. It's not rude to ask or need things boxed up, but servers aren't always mind-readers.

Also, I hope you are at least on occasion trying to bring the baby outside for a minute, settle baby, and bring him or her back in. The first sign of trouble may just mean it's time to break out the toys or pick baby up for a minute... I wouldn't bolt unless it was clear that the situation was going to take more than 1-2 minutes to get back under control.

You misunderstood. I'm not upset they have don't read my mind, I'm bothered because I don't want to be a bother by asking.

We don't bother trying to settle her down. Other patrons don't want to listen to it time and time again. Twice is too much, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why "tip well"? You're leaving early giving them less trouble making less mess... I don't get it.

Why not? The server could've had some big time diners and wine drinkers at that table. It does take extra time to lean up the mess. I have a 7 month old and I know the mess he can make. Besides, seems like OP is simply a good tipper even if she doesn't leave early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really run away when a baby cries? No wonder parenthood is so isolating and depressing nowadays...

Would keeping a screaming baby in a restaurant be preferable? Behaving decently is not a new thing; if anything it's in decline.

[Anonymous]

I have never been a server but did hostess at restaurant during college. Many parents would ask for a table near the door so they could step in and out quickly. Your server absolutely appreciates you tipping well because most restaurants seat on a rotation. That means the server will not get another party, even if the table is empty, until all the other sections have been given a table - unless you are going on a weekend night when its too busy to follow the rotation. More, some customers will tip that server less because they did not enjoy their meal due to the noise. So its a double hit to your server.

[Anonymous]

Former server here echoing other posters: this would not have made me mad. The faster diners leave, the faster you can get another table and make more money. If you were staying longer and drinking the bill might have been slightly higher, but as parents with a baby I doubt you're drinking all that much anyway. It is kind of a pain to box food up, but that small amount of inconvenience is totally offset by the fact that you tip 25% and are there for such a short amount of time. Plus, the diners around you at the other table aren't having a bad experience because you're letting your baby scream in the restaurant.

OP, I think you're being very considerate and I wouldn't worry in the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really run away when a baby cries? No wonder parenthood is so isolating and depressing nowadays...

Would keeping a screaming baby in a restaurant be preferable? Behaving decently is not a new thing; if anything it's in decline.

Seriously! It's incredibly rude and inconsiderate to force everyone else to listen to your baby crying. I applaud OP for not being one of those parents who sits there eating while their kid screams and bothers everyone else.

[Anonymous]

This is not rude at all. The waiters are glad that you are leaving and also tipping well. The chef doesn't care if you are reheating his food or whatever (assuming you eat at normal family places).

[Anonymous]

I'm a PP here- I'm also guessing that many places just being you boxes and you box it up yourself. You are not being rude by leaving.

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like you couldn't be more considerate. I hope you're finding time to enjoy your time out and not just worrying about being a bother to restaurant staff and other diners.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should try to have one of your bring the baby outside for a few minutes to see if that calms her down before up and leaving. Not that it matters to the servers either way, but for your own relaxation and enjoyment, your meal could maybe be prolonged a bit.

FWIW, my dh usually eats faster than me and takes our 2.5yo outside while I finish my meal (if, like usual, DS is antsy). I kind of like the solitude at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why "tip well"? You're leaving early giving them less trouble making less mess... I don't get it.

When I eat with my toddler, we never make "less mess."

I'm obviously talking about the OP, not you. It's a 7mo old whose parents didn't touch the food. It's less mess. I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not rude. They want their tables to turn over quickly anyway. And you tip well, so they don't care.

This!

Former waiter here. Very true--you're fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why "tip well"? You're leaving early giving them less trouble making less mess... I don't get it.

Why tip well? Because wait staff make about 2.00 an hour without tips. Because they are waiters. Because they live off tips. Because most on DCUM are members of the 1%. Because.

I assumed people were saying tip well because of the circumstances not because of the waiter's poor conditions which we know well. How is that even important to mention in such thread? Calm down lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really run away when a baby cries? No wonder parenthood is so isolating and depressing nowadays...

Would keeping a screaming baby in a restaurant be preferable? Behaving decently is not a new thing; if anything it's in decline.

Seriously! It's incredibly rude and inconsiderate to force everyone else to listen to your baby crying. I applaud OP for not being one of those parents who sits there eating while their kid screams and bothers everyone else.

Babies cry, you know? It's normal. Why can't society understand and embrace life's normal course? Parenting is becoming so stressful and lonely because of all these stupid new rules. Women can't feed their babies in public because people are bothered by seeing half a boob (that they don't mind when it's from a VS model in a mall advertisement) kids are supposed to be quiet and pretend they're not there, if they run too much they need to be medicated for some attention disorder, WTF?