Jewelry Gift from DH - Not At All My Style

[Anonymous]

Is it 25% of your monthly income or 25% of money left over after bills are paid? The money part - if being the former - would bother me a lot. Like you, jewelry is on the bottom of the list of things I'd want as a gift so combined with it being pricey, I would be annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Just wear it for him. He likes how it looks. Wear it to dinner with him even if it is too fancy. It is a really easy way to make him happy and show him that you appreciate him.

[Anonymous]

Say Thank You and be grateful and appreciative you are married to a man who is thoughtful and considerate. Too bad he isn't married to some one who doesn't value thoughtfulness, generosity, and appreciation.

[Anonymous]

I can't help but be honest when DH gives me jewelry I would never wear. First, I barely wear jewelry at all. Second, the stuff he would buy me would not be at all within my taste if u did wear jewelry. Third, that fact that he didn't know this about me after over 10 years was disturbing.

It was more about him than about me. He bought me a pearl necklace after a milestone even though I had told him I would never wear a pearl necklace because "every woman should have one".

So now he has stopped buying me jewelry and asks me what I want for birthdays and holidays. He just doesn't have the knack for gift-giving and we give so few gifts a year that it's easier that way. Less romantic, yes, but also much less frustrating than what used to happen.

OP-- just let it go this time, but point out some things from various countries he visits that you would like. I would bring up how the cost kind of shocked you. I think if you share finances that it's important to discuss that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear it. Accept the love it came with, the appreciation from DH.

Heck, go buy something you can wear it with.

OP here - I think this is an ecxellent plan. And the other PP is right as well, it might grow on me. Thanks, I feel better now. And I truly do appreciate the gesture.

YAY!

[Anonymous]

I have asked several men about this very thing. A jewelry salesman told me that guys could care less if we exchange something we don't like for something else. I didn't believe him so I asked my DH directly and several other guy friends. They all said that they couldn't care less if their spouses exchanged a gift they had purchased. Im sure some guys would be hurt, but sounds like a common theme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have asked several men about this very thing. A jewelry salesman told me that guys could care less if we exchange something we don't like for something else. I didn't believe him so I asked my DH directly and several other guy friends. They all said that they couldn't care less if their spouses exchanged a gift they had purchased. Im sure some guys would be hurt, but sounds like a common theme.

Well, I did this when my DH bought me a necklace at Movado - it was in the shape of a heart and I just felt it was too juvenile and the kind of thing you should buy at Macy's, not Movado. He was really, really hurt. Big mistake by me!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a guilt gift.

[Anonymous]

I want to see the piece =)

[Anonymous]

This happens to me every other year or so. I usually exchange it- if we're spending a significant amount on something, I want to love it. DH acts like it's no big deal when I do this, however, the one time he got it right and bought something I genuinely loved, he was so proud and excited. Since you can't return it, I'd just do your best to wear it when you can and act happy about it.

[Anonymous]

This is why we have a strict no-jewelry (or clothes) gift giving policy in my marriage.

There is something hurtful when you get a gift from someone who is supposed to know you well and the gift demonstrates that they don't know you at all.

[Anonymous]

My husband used to buy me somewhat expensive jewelry on every biz trip he went on. He travels several times a year. I HATED every piece. There was one or two that were ok, but the rest were just tacky and not at all my taste. I know it's the thought that counts and I was touched that he was trying to "spoil" me or whatever. But the loss of income on this stuff was really getting to me. He didn't seem to notice that I would wear these things once to be polite and never again. Finally, I just told him that he had to stop and I made it a money thing. I said I wasn't even happy receiving these things because it just stressed me out to think about our budget. I asked him please not to buy me jewelry any more, that he's a great husband and instead I will take flowers whenever he wants to buy them if he wants to spoil me on a less expensive scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like a guilt gift.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why we have a strict no-jewelry (or clothes) gift giving policy in my marriage.

There is something hurtful when you get a gift from someone who is supposed to know you well and the gift demonstrates that they don't know you at all.

instead of being selfish and rather than focusing on just you, perhaps you can recognize and acknowledge the thoughtfulness behind someone's action to actually give a damn and get you something.

as if you get it 100% right 100% of the time

[Anonymous]

I have this issue with my DH. We have completely different jewelry styles.

You can't return it, so just put it in the closet. Maybe wear it once. If it's super-expensive maybe you can sell it.

I would not make a deal out of it, or you'll never get anything again.