If DH is the only child,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very very hard. Basically, DH is MIL's sole reason for existence, her pride, and her only achievement. I am in therapy and on antidepressants and it sort of helps.

Same here. Exact same boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very very hard. Basically, DH is MIL's sole reason for existence, her pride, and her only achievement.

Same here. Exact same boat.

Yes, and now my children are also her sole reasons for existing. She's actually very nice, just overbearing and should have had more kids to split the crazy. (My own mom would be similar if she didn't split her crazy among us three kids!) We're trying to convince MIL to get a dog, but she works long hours. Hopefully she won't follow through on her threat to move here when she retires....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is an only. My MIL is very nice, but she's very clingy and I do wish there were other siblings and grandkids to get some of her attention. They are very good to our kids, and our kids love them-but my MIL wants to see us once a month (4 hour drive so that means giving up a whole weekend) and they both bug us to vacation with them and get kind of offended when we don't (even though we get no say in the timing or destination of these suggested trips).

One weekend a month isn't too much to ask for. Fur hour drive is nothing. You are selfish.

[Anonymous]

Agree. So many nasty people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never met MIL due to estrangement.

+1

[Anonymous]

DH also needs to understand that some women will drive a wedge between their sons and their wives. So he needs to decide early on if he will stand by you or side with his mother. If he is a mama's boy, he will side with her and you will be miserable. Best to get out NOW if he's like that.

The reverse is often true, also. Some Owen will do anything to drive a wedge between their husband and his mother--a ridiculous turf war. Face it some women are only happy if they are the "only" as if the human heart isn't big enough yo love more than one person or to live different people in different ways. I'll never understand why women feel the need to act this way. Dreading my son growing up after reading all the hateful mil comments on this site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DH also needs to understand that some women will drive a wedge between their sons and their wives. So he needs to decide early on if he will stand by you or side with his mother. If he is a mama's boy, he will side with her and you will be miserable. Best to get out NOW if he's like that.

The reverse is often true, also. Some Owen will do anything to drive a wedge between their husband and his mother--a ridiculous turf war. Face it some women are only happy if they are the "only" as if the human heart isn't big enough yo love more than one person or to live different people in different ways. I'll never understand why women feel the need to act this way. Dreading my son growing up after reading all the hateful mil comments on this site.

A lot of time, the MIL is difficult/controlling to deal with that makes me wonder why they act that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DH also needs to understand that some women will drive a wedge between their sons and their wives. So he needs to decide early on if he will stand by you or side with his mother. If he is a mama's boy, he will side with her and you will be miserable. Best to get out NOW if he's like that.

The reverse is often true, also. Some Owen will do anything to drive a wedge between their husband and his mother--a ridiculous turf war. Face it some women are only happy if they are the "only" as if the human heart isn't big enough yo love more than one person or to live different people in different ways. I'll never understand why women feel the need to act this way. Dreading my son growing up after reading all the hateful mil comments on this site.

A lot of time, the MIL is difficult/controlling to deal with that makes me wonder why they act that way?

Interesting, because what I have seen among my friends and family are equally difficult/controlling DIL. It is rarely a one-way street and I do believe it has to do with the "turf" wars mentioned above. Sons can love both their wives and their mothers…and their sisters. It isn't a contest and yet, too often all parties involved act as if it is indeed. I have quite a ways to go before I become a mil, but I do think everyone needs to examine their own behavior before pointing the finger. It isn't right to put our spouse's in the position of having to chose. They should be free to love us all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is an only. My MIL is very nice, but she's very clingy and I do wish there were other siblings and grandkids to get some of her attention. They are very good to our kids, and our kids love them-but my MIL wants to see us once a month (4 hour drive so that means giving up a whole weekend) and they both bug us to vacation with them and get kind of offended when we don't (even though we get no say in the timing or destination of these suggested trips).

One weekend a month isn't too much to ask for. Fur hour drive is nothing. You are selfish.

Are you kidding? One weekend every other month is plenty generous. And travel should go both ways.

What about OP's family? Do they also get one weekend a month? So they spend half their weekend time traveling? That is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is an only. My MIL is very nice, but she's very clingy and I do wish there were other siblings and grandkids to get some of her attention. They are very good to our kids, and our kids love them-but my MIL wants to see us once a month (4 hour drive so that means giving up a whole weekend) and they both bug us to vacation with them and get kind of offended when we don't (even though we get no say in the timing or destination of these suggested trips).

Ha! My husband is one of seven. It is a nightmare just going out for dinner.