WWYD - DS's friend won't come to our house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to like going to friends' houses because there was less supervision.

Not at my house!

[Anonymous]

Have you talked with the other child's parent? I would get on the phone (or do it one day when you drop him off) and say "I feel bad that he's always coming over here. We would love to have X come to our house next time. Are you OK with that?" If the parent says "No", then you can decide how you want to proceed. Maybe put a limit on frequency, or be willing to say 'No playdate' when you don't want to do the driving.

[Anonymous]

When I was in high school, one of my best friends came over to my house exactly once. I didn't notice anything particularly wrong, but something about our house made her uncomfortable, and she never wanted to come over again.

She never said that straight out -- but I remember one time we were on the phone, and I suggested she come sleep over, and she said she didn't have a way to get to my house, why didn't I come to her house? I said I had no way to get to her house, either, & she said her dad could come pick me up.

Obviously, if he could pick me up, he could drop her off just as easily, but whatever -- if she was reluctant to tell me what made her uneasy about my house, I wasn't going to make her tell me, we just made plans at her house & not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd drive my kid over to the friend's house. 15 minutes each way is nothing!

15 minutes there, 15 minutes back, 15 minutes there, 15 minutes back -- that's an hour of driving for one visit.

Really? That is an awful way to think of it. Is this how you diminish the importance of playdates for your child?

You are extremely lazy, and your time is no more important than anyone else's, like it or not.

I'm not the PP, but your post is uncalled for. No need to call the poster 'extremely lazy' for not wanting to drive an HOUR a day for a friend's playdate. So rude.

[Anonymous]

No the poster was accurate. If you can't deviate from your schedule a little bit to have a playdate you shouldn't have kids..they do take up time and it's not all about your needs/whims. Signed my who routinely drives 30 minutes each way to make a playdate happen.

[Anonymous]

DS has anxiety and can't easily go to other people's homes. We always host and it's not a problem at all in terms of food and keeping an eye on them. Luckily everyone is in the same neighborhood so it's not a burden on the other parents. Some of them can walk/bike here alone. The other parents know the situation because we're very open. Maybe there is something like this going on and they just don't talk about it as freely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No the poster was accurate. If you can't deviate from your schedule a little bit to have a playdate you shouldn't have kids..they do take up time and it's not all about your needs/whims. Signed my who routinely drives 30 minutes each way to make a playdate happen.

The main point is that 15 minutes each way is not "nothing".

And good for you for driving an hour for a play date. However, that doesn't mean that everybody else should therefore have to do it too. I'm certain that I do things that you don't do -- does that mean you're lazy and shouldn't have had children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No the poster was accurate. If you can't deviate from your schedule a little bit to have a playdate you shouldn't have kids..they do take up time and it's not all about your needs/whims. Signed my who routinely drives 30 minutes each way to make a playdate happen.

The main point is that 15 minutes each way is not "nothing".

And good for you for driving an hour for a play date. However, that doesn't mean that everybody else should therefore have to do it too. I'm certain that I do things that you don't do -- does that mean you're lazy and shouldn't have had children?

Also, looking at the situation at hand - you have one family always investing the hour for the playmate, and it is almost never reciprocated, leading to an imbalance, which is what op came here to discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No the poster was accurate. If you can't deviate from your schedule a little bit to have a playdate you shouldn't have kids..they do take up time and it's not all about your needs/whims. Signed my who routinely drives 30 minutes each way to make a playdate happen.

The main point is that 15 minutes each way is not "nothing".

And good for you for driving an hour for a play date. However, that doesn't mean that everybody else should therefore have to do it too. I'm certain that I do things that you don't do -- does that mean you're lazy and shouldn't have had children?

Also, looking at the situation at hand - you have one family always investing the hour for the playmate, and it is almost never reciprocated, leading to an imbalance, which is what op came here to discuss.

But there is no imbalance if the other mom picks OPs son up and drops him off.