crazy to even think of offering to be a surrogate or carrier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IUI is such a waste. Do you know why they haven't done IVF?

Please don't tell my two kids that iui was a waste. They might disagree.

[Anonymous]

I had children via a gestational surrogate. It is an incredibly kind and generous idea for you to do it for a friend.

First, as other posters have noted, the next step for them is to find out their next options with the fertility specialists - likely trying IVF etc. Using a GC is more often associated with not being able to carry a baby to term (including underlying maternal health reasons) vs. not being to conceive - so they'll have many other things to explore first (IVF & specialized forms of IVF) before GC becomes a consideration. So, nice to keep it in mind, but jumping the gun a little at this point.

Very sweet to keep in mind as she continues down her path.

[Anonymous]

I would not make this offer until you have thought it through and researched it from every possible angle. I would talk to all kinds of professionals and make sure there isn't going to be a life circumstance or a situation that makes you change your mind and rescind your offer.

[Anonymous]

You could text or email your offer. As one of very few who have actually done it: It is very emotionally taxing for everyone, so you might not have a relationship after it is over. read some blog and you will see what I mean. Kind of you to offer -- just know what you are getting into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could text or email your offer. As one of very few who have actually done it: It is very emotionally taxing for everyone, so you might not have a relationship after it is over. read some blog and you will see what I mean. Kind of you to offer -- just know what you are getting into.

11:29 PP - this is true... there are lots of issues to consider. You have to deal with lots of serious issues - like being in agreement about #s of embryo transfers, terms you'd terminate under, the emotional drain if/when transfer cycles don't work, issues around doctor care & managing insurance issues, negotiating lifestyle issues while pregnant (from eating styles, activity, working (we had to deal seriously stressful issues around bed rest with twins & how it impacted our GC's relationship with her own care and work and life, etc), issues and decisions if there are any medical complications for either the carrier or baby (or babies) -- ours ended up having to have her gall bladder out, decisions about types of delivery, and more. My husband also found the 'you're carrying my baby (and my wife's baby)' issue really strange with our GC's DH even with him being very cool about it. Weirdly the legal issues and contracts are the easy part of it.

We have a nice relationship with our GC now, and are forever grateful for the miracle she did for us - but our relationship is limited to sending photos back and forth of families & Xmas & bday token gifts.