Boss hates me b/c I am paid more $

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop analyzing her, OP. You have minimal contact with her, since you work at home. Just continue to act professionally and do not engage in conversations that don't directly have to do with work.

Be amicable, and just do your job.

OP, here. Yes, I agree. I try. However, she shared with our group during a workshop at the conference that her husband's father was an abusive alcoholic and he was raised by his grandparents. She was practically in tears. She shared that her husband was a good man but did not make much money, and they had a daughter now entering college.

Just yesterday on our biweekly phone meeting, a 30 minute call, she shared she was taking off for vacation for a week, going to a spa to meet a friend of hers who was doing very well for herself. Her friend created her own position at her company and also telecommutes. My boss told me that she thought that is what her role at this non profit would be like. She said she was still bringing her laptop with her.

I am not going out of my way to analyze this woman. She volunteers the information about her personal and financial struggles. She also doesn't seem to know how to effectively manage the job and her time.

I don't particularly want her to push her stress and anxiety down to me. That's what I am trying to avoid.

I was sympathetic about your struggle before reading this newest post. You shouldn't be sharing this online. And learning it has nothing to do with anything. Keep your head down and keep doing what you're doing. Sounds like she gets in your way very little overall.

[Anonymous]

I still don't see that she doesn't like you.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you need to stop worrying about her and whether she likes you. I'm not saying she's a good worker or a good boss -- she sounds awful -- but it shouldn't really affect you. You have a sweet at-home job that you like, and you barely interact with her. Do what you need to in order to deal with her (I like PP's suggestion of meditation before/after the calls), kick ass at your day-to-day job, and let the rest go. I say this as someone who has similar issues -- my therapist calls me a "sponge" because I soak up other people's unhappiness. Don't do it.

As far as protecting your job from her, be sure your work is flawless and on time. If she gives you her tasks, do them well and take credit for them. And there's no reason you can't write an article or volunteer to speak, even if that's not what she would have assigned to you.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Your boss sounds like an oversharer with her personal business. Too many people in the workplace do this. Keep things businesslike instead.

[Anonymous]

Do you work for some sort of pyramid marketing scheme? I've never heard of so many weird things at once in a professional environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your boss sounds like an oversharer with her personal business. Too many people in the workplace do this. Keep things businesslike instead.

True, people over share. Why the boss is over sharing with subordinates I don't know but in my office you can't take any sick leave without the boss getting all up into the details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop analyzing her, OP. You have minimal contact with her, since you work at home. Just continue to act professionally and do not engage in conversations that don't directly have to do with work.

Be amicable, and just do your job.

OP, here. Yes, I agree. I try. However, she shared with our group during a workshop at the conference that her husband's father was an abusive alcoholic and he was raised by his grandparents. She was practically in tears. She shared that her husband was a good man but did not make much money, and they had a daughter now entering college.

Just yesterday on our biweekly phone meeting, a 30 minute call, she shared she was taking off for vacation for a week, going to a spa to meet a friend of hers who was doing very well for herself. Her friend created her own position at her company and also telecommutes. My boss told me that she thought that is what her role at this non profit would be like. She said she was still bringing her laptop with her.

I am not going out of my way to analyze this woman. She volunteers the information about her personal and financial struggles. She also doesn't seem to know how to effectively manage the job and her time.

I don't particularly want her to push her stress and anxiety down to me. That's what I am trying to avoid.

You know what I read in that? I read a person who is open and honest, perhaps to a fault. I see a person who is perhaps open about not being thrilled with her own role, and maybe shouldn't share that, but is otherwise doing nothing out of the ordinary. People share things. I can picture it now:

"Hey, just so you know I'm going to wherever on vacation for a week."
"Oh that sounds nice"
"Yea, I'm visiting a friend in Arkansas. She sells exploding puppets to shooting ranges, she's doing really well for herself with that. Kind of suprising theres a market for it, but she managed to negotiate a WFH arrangement with her company, Missy Exploding Puppets Galore. I figure it would be fun to visit her - but I'll have my laptop with me if you need anything, I'll probably be working a bit."
"Oh okay."

People at my office have shared their income, their 529 strategies, surgery plans, you name it. This all sounds like someone who is just trying to talk to you about something other than work and connect on a more personal level.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP is an over-sharer.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you hate your boss not vice versa.

[Anonymous]

I find the non-profit somewhat odd in that managers and subordinates are paid equal or unfairly. I would feel in-valued also in her situation. It doesn't negate her treatment of you/subordinates, but what a messed up environment fr this organization to have created.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you hate your boss not vice versa.

+1. This sounds like an ego thing to me. You're offended that she's unloading scut work on you because you're better than that, and your response is to analyze and over analyze every detail you know about her and look for reasons why she doesn't like you - because if she 's giving you scut work because she does t like you, you find that more palatable than if she's doing it because she doesn't think you're capable of higher level work.

OP I used to be a huge over analyzer at work and try to figure it why every little thing happened. When I hit 40 I decided I'd had enough of the drama that was playing out in my own head. Now my job is a job. I mostly like it, mostly like the people, but I try to keep everything on a strictly professional level. I am there to do a job. I am friendly with people and may discuss some not-too-personal personal stuff with a few people, but I just concentrate on doing a good job on whatever I'm given without any attitude. In my current position early on my boss gave me some scut work because I needed something to do, but it hasn't happened since then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you hate your boss not vice versa.

+1. This sounds like an ego thing to me. You're offended that she's unloading scut work on you because you're better than that, and your response is to analyze and over analyze every detail you know about her and look for reasons why she doesn't like you - because if she 's giving you scut work because she does t like you, you find that more palatable than if she's doing it because she doesn't think you're capable of higher level work.

OP I used to be a huge over analyzer at work and try to figure it why every little thing happened. When I hit 40 I decided I'd had enough of the drama that was playing out in my own head. Now my job is a job. I mostly like it, mostly like the people, but I try to keep everything on a strictly professional level. I am there to do a job. I am friendly with people and may discuss some not-too-personal personal stuff with a few people, but I just concentrate on doing a good job on whatever I'm given without any attitude. In my current position early on my boss gave me some scut work because I needed something to do, but it hasn't happened since then.

OP, no I don't mind "scut" work as you call it. No one told my supervisor to create a position for herself as a means of advancing to then make only an extra $400 a year. I am not doing both my job and her job, just because I was able to negotiate a higher salary coming in to the organization. She wasn't the person who really wanted me on the team.

She can quit her job and find another one that pays more money.

I was really just venting on here, and I feel better. I must have touched a nerve with some people who probably are like my supervisor and make less money than their subordinates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you hate your boss not vice versa.

+1. This sounds like an ego thing to me. You're offended that she's unloading scut work on you because you're better than that, and your response is to analyze and over analyze every detail you know about her and look for reasons why she doesn't like you - because if she 's giving you scut work because she does t like you, you find that more palatable than if she's doing it because she doesn't think you're capable of higher level work.

OP I used to be a huge over analyzer at work and try to figure it why every little thing happened. When I hit 40 I decided I'd had enough of the drama that was playing out in my own head. Now my job is a job. I mostly like it, mostly like the people, but I try to keep everything on a strictly professional level. I am there to do a job. I am friendly with people and may discuss some not-too-personal personal stuff with a few people, but I just concentrate on doing a good job on whatever I'm given without any attitude. In my current position early on my boss gave me some scut work because I needed something to do, but it hasn't happened since then.

OP, no I don't mind "scut" work as you call it. No one told my supervisor to create a position for herself as a means of advancing to then make only an extra $400 a year. I am not doing both my job and her job, just because I was able to negotiate a higher salary coming in to the organization. She wasn't the person who really wanted me on the team.

She can quit her job and find another one that pays more money.

I was really just venting on here, and I feel better. I must have touched a nerve with some people who probably are like my supervisor and make less money than their subordinates.

Bitch, Bye!

Signed,

Your Boss

[Anonymous]

I don't see any examples of how OP's boss dislikes her due to money. But I am thoroughly enjoying OP's image of herself.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP, you just don't get it. Your boss may be irritating and an over sharer. She may even hate you. You can't do anything about her. You can only control yourself.

You have a bad attitude. Your last sentence underlines it almost comically. You're judgmental and really pretty close-minded about your own attitude.

You can change this and you really should, or you will quite likely continue to have drama and stress with bosses and coworkers.