Dear Deadbeat Dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a (young) single mother, and women with your attitude bother me. You can't force someone to be a parent and even if you could, it wouldn't be good for your child to have a father figure in his life that flat out doesn't want to. Secondly, birthdays aren't about the parents, it's about the child. Your child can have a great birthday without him. I advise you to:

1) face reality
2) get child support
3) raise this child to be the best man on your own
4) find another father figure when you are ready
5) stop bitching

I would go for all of the above.

People like you bug me. I don't know when it became wise for women to always be strong and never complain. She's "bitching" on an anonymous board. That's actually healthy in my book. She's probably putting on a smile for her son IRL. You could always ignore this thread altogether.

And you can ignore my post.

I'm OP. I can't speak for PP but I will ignore.like I said post back in few years after bottling it all up.

Sorry, it's been years. My child is already 8. Bitching isn't going to change a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice it's "deadbeat dad" and not Ex husband. Not that it must be mutually exclusive. I'm just wondering how long they were together and if they had a relationship or if they were just having sex.

I'm tired of women picking losers and then whining about it when the loser didn't step up. Sorry Ladies, you need to use your brains and choose the right guy for yourself and your child(ren). I feel so sorry for the child(ren) that have to grow up with only one parent. Especially since they KNOW that the other parent didn't want them. How awful.

OP, make sure your child is well loved.

Nothing about my post suggests I am whining. He is a cowardly butthole. And he can hide as long as he wants. But one day he will have to explain to an adult man who will be younger and bigger than him his behavior.

Other PPs have no fear he is in 2 different courts on my child alone. And while it will not consume my life, every 2 or 3 years I will conduct the perfunctory filings to ensure he and anybody that provides him with documented compensation is aware of his fiscal obligations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a (young) single mother, and women with your attitude bother me. You can't force someone to be a parent and even if you could, it wouldn't be good for your child to have a father figure in his life that flat out doesn't want to. Secondly, birthdays aren't about the parents, it's about the child. Your child can have a great birthday without him. I advise you to:

1) face reality
2) get child support
3) raise this child to be the best man on your own
4) find another father figure when you are ready
5) stop bitching

I would go for all of the above.

People like you bug me. I don't know when it became wise for women to always be strong and never complain. She's "bitching" on an anonymous board. That's actually healthy in my book. She's probably putting on a smile for her son IRL. You could always ignore this thread altogether.

And you can ignore my post.

I'm OP. I can't speak for PP but I will ignore.like I said post back in few years after bottling it all up.

Sorry, it's been years. My child is already 8. Bitching isn't going to change a thing.

Really? Your nastiness masked as support to me seems to suggest you need to vent a little.-op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice it's "deadbeat dad" and not Ex husband. Not that it must be mutually exclusive. I'm just wondering how long they were together and if they had a relationship or if they were just having sex.

I'm tired of women picking losers and then whining about it when the loser didn't step up. Sorry Ladies, you need to use your brains and choose the right guy for yourself and your child(ren). I feel so sorry for the child(ren) that have to grow up with only one parent. Especially since they KNOW that the other parent didn't want them. How awful.

OP, make sure your child is well loved.

Nothing about my post suggests I am whining. He is a cowardly butthole. And he can hide as long as he wants. But one day he will have to explain to an adult man who will be younger and bigger than him his behavior.

Other PPs have no fear he is in 2 different courts on my child alone. And while it will not consume my life, every 2 or 3 years I will conduct the perfunctory filings to ensure he and anybody that provides him with documented compensation is aware of his fiscal obligations.

What's there to say? He's not interested. Do you really think your kid is going to beat him up over this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice it's "deadbeat dad" and not Ex husband. Not that it must be mutually exclusive. I'm just wondering how long they were together and if they had a relationship or if they were just having sex.

I'm tired of women picking losers and then whining about it when the loser didn't step up. Sorry Ladies, you need to use your brains and choose the right guy for yourself and your child(ren). I feel so sorry for the child(ren) that have to grow up with only one parent. Especially since they KNOW that the other parent didn't want them. How awful.

OP, make sure your child is well loved.

Nothing about my post suggests I am whining. He is a cowardly butthole. And he can hide as long as he wants. But one day he will have to explain to an adult man who will be younger and bigger than him his behavior.

Other PPs have no fear he is in 2 different courts on my child alone. And while it will not consume my life, every 2 or 3 years I will conduct the perfunctory filings to ensure he and anybody that provides him with documented compensation is aware of his fiscal obligations.

What's there to say? He's not interested. Do you really think your kid is going to beat him up over this?

Who said anything about beating up? Clearly you know nothing about being a man

[Anonymous]

Nothing about my post suggests I am whining. He is a cowardly butthole. And he can hide as long as he wants. But one day he will have to explain to an adult man who will be younger and bigger than him his behavior.

I don't know why you think he'll have to explain anything. My father never paid child support, never came to any of my events. I never thought about seeking him out to ask for an explanation. What could he have said that would have made any difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nothing about my post suggests I am whining. He is a cowardly butthole. And he can hide as long as he wants. But one day he will have to explain to an adult man who will be younger and bigger than him his behavior.

I don't know why you think he'll have to explain anything. My father never paid child support, never came to any of my events. I never thought about seeking him out to ask for an explanation. What could he have said that would have made any difference?

+1

OP you are clearly in pain for your child.

Part of letting go of this man is seeing him for who he is and understanding that even if there were consequences for being a deadbeat he doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nothing about my post suggests I am whining. He is a cowardly butthole. And he can hide as long as he wants. But one day he will have to explain to an adult man who will be younger and bigger than him his behavior.

I don't know why you think he'll have to explain anything. My father never paid child support, never came to any of my events. I never thought about seeking him out to ask for an explanation. What could he have said that would have made any difference?

I think it depends on the kid. Some kids fantasize about the absent parent. They might think their parent somehow kept them from the other parent. They might blame their custodial parent. I had a mini-crisis in high school about my deadbeat dad. I blamed my mom for everything when in fact, it was my drunk of a father who didn't bother visiting, etc. I wanted it to be her fault b/c the reality that he couldn't be bothered was hard to deal with.

[Anonymous]

younger and bigger? what are you waiting for OP? For the kid to grow up and fight your ex? You condone that? You have some work to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:younger and bigger? what are you waiting for OP? For the kid to grow up and fight your ex? You condone that? You have some work to do.

Actually he'll have to explain to 3 grown men what a real man is. I don't envision my child beating up his father. I do envision a man not as tall as my son hanging his head in shame. Are you the trolling woman hating man ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to coparent with a father who tries to limit my time with our son & make my life miserable by any means possible. I have endured 10 years of this & have at least 6 more to go. Count your blessings if he is leaving you both alone, it could be much much worse.

+1
I'm coparenting with a man who is mentally ill enough to be in questionable situations but not ill enough for the court to intervene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:younger and bigger? what are you waiting for OP? For the kid to grow up and fight your ex? You condone that? You have some work to do.

Actually he'll have to explain to 3 grown men what a real man is. I don't envision my child beating up his father. I do envision a man not as tall as my son hanging his head in shame. Are you the trolling woman hating man ?

Sorry, OP but that poster is right. You come off as the man-hater. Your ex is not innocent but neither are you. You chose this man to play one of the most significant roles in your life and your child's life. You have to own that and accept that this is the person you chose above all other men as the father of your child. Now you and your child must live with the choice you made. Suck it up. You will have to be mother and father but your child can still have a wonderful life even with a pathetic excuse for a dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:younger and bigger? what are you waiting for OP? For the kid to grow up and fight your ex? You condone that? You have some work to do.

Actually he'll have to explain to 3 grown men what a real man is. I don't envision my child beating up his father. I do envision a man not as tall as my son hanging his head in shame. Are you the trolling woman hating man ?

Sorry, OP but that poster is right. You come off as the man-hater.

No, she comes across as a person who hates this particular man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nothing about my post suggests I am whining. He is a cowardly butthole. And he can hide as long as he wants. But one day he will have to explain to an adult man who will be younger and bigger than him his behavior.

I don't know why you think he'll have to explain anything. My father never paid child support, never came to any of my events. I never thought about seeking him out to ask for an explanation. What could he have said that would have made any difference?

My mother sought child support when I was 12 from my deadbeat "dad" (I was raised by another man). Bio dad came back in my teens and later in my 20s wanting a relationship once it was clear that I was going to be/was successful in his eyes.

Best revenge is living well and I think that's OP's point about her son. His dad might suddenly want to be around and it might not be an option at that point.

[Anonymous]

D H Hugley I think I misspelled his name. His father walked away from him and another man raised him.