my adult brother uses my parents
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Anonymous
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My SIL is exactly like this. It's bizarre, and really sad to see a 30 year old adult take advantage of their parents this way.
If it were my sibling, I'd say something. But with ILs, you can't say anything. Some people just see others, including family, for what they can get out of them. |
Anonymous
Well the. The wife (and her parents) should not get to benefit from his parents generosity. It sounds like the son, with his wife's complicity is using the parents. Shame on her more if this comes out of her dislike of her inlaws. |
Anonymous
| Not your business, OP. |
Anonymous
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Yes, this is your parents battle. I'm not sure of the polite way to phrase this to your parents but basically find out if they are venting or if the actually want to change things. They can't necessarily get your brother to visit more etc but they have to decide if they would rather have what little they see/hear of your brother when he drops off the dog or wants to borrow the beach house or miss out on even those brief conversation/contact when they are unavailable for dog sitting or lending out the beach house. All it takes is a few no's and brother will likely get the hint, but the longer they keep this pattern, the harder it will be to change things. People get more upset when you change the rules on them years in than if you were upfront in the beginning.
Yes, stay out of it other than encouraging your parents to find their way whether that be continuing the current pattern or standing up for themselves. Don't say anything to your brother. It's your job to be the sister and your parent's job to be the parent. in general, it rarely ends well when you speak for someone not willing to speak up for themselves. Think when you hear from a 3rd party that a person is mad at you ...how much worse it makes the problem than if the impacted person came to you directly. |
Anonymous
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Well, on one hand, this is your parents' battle to fight.
Then again, if your own siblings can't call you on your assholish behavior, then who can? |
Anonymous
Good point. |
Anonymous
| If you can't use your friends and family, who can you use? |