In Desperate need of relationship for a new relationship???

[Anonymous]

The gist of this:

She admits to pretending to be something more than she is.
He may or may not be pretending to be something other than who he is.

A perfect match.

[Anonymous]

Your description of your bf is textbook psychopath. Textbook. You've checked every box. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh boy. Red flag, no make that neon red blinking signs saying run from this relationship. If this is a true post, here are the big things that caught my attention

1. You said he points the blame at everyone else. You don't want to be in a relationship with a person that won't take responsibility for his/her actions. My kids are in elementary school and we've had this discussion. I've seen what happens when someone always says it's the other person's fault and never ever looks at their own actions ...yes goes thru a lot of jobs, yes has a lot of volatile relationships
2. Umm, why are you more invested in a job for him than he is? With my own kids I will guide but I won't do the work for them. He is a grown man and you are doing all the legwork. If he is going to make a favorable impressions he is going to need to show employers that he is motivated.
3. Lack of thoughtfulness. He didn't offer to help pay for the food, it doesn't seem like he tried to come up with a low cost outing to show how much he appreciated your thoughtfulness. Oh and he is going out with other woman.
4. Remember while people can change, you can't change people. Repeat as often as you need. I used to get wound up until I realized, no I can't change people, only my reaction/boundaries to their foolishness.

I agree with everything you're saying. My thing is I was like him a few years ago until I got tired enough to get up and change. This is why I was willing to give him a chance. The only thing is got from me was $5 for the bus and I brought him a new phone since I totaled his. Only because I feel like it was the right thing to do, let me just say I told him I would not be doing all the work for him to find a job. I need a BETTER job myself. I'f I see or hear of something I simply pass around the word. And I can't lie he did attempt to think of free stuff but most of it involved outdoors and I dislike outdoors and bugs. He left some stuff at my house and I'm thinking I will just Neil them and his phone to him and cut off ties.

Same poster here. I bolded the key part. You changed but that was because you were motivated to change. I think human nature is such that if everything given to you and there are no consequences for failure to do your part, there is little motivation to change. If my parents were giving me a place to live with no rules/rent, I could work or not work, I have significant others feeding me, taking me places etc and living at home with no job was not a barrier to these relationships, what is going to make me wake up one day and want to change? let's think, I have more time to hang out with my friends, more time to have multiple significant others by not having a job. I have to work how many hours to afford a place even half as good as my mama's?. I have other people cooking for me, doing my laundry, and driving me around. I have more time and opportunity to have intimate relations. What's my motivation again?

[Anonymous]

If it weren't for the other girls he's texting, then this might have a chance. But why do you want to keep chasing this guy who's treating you as one in a dozen?

Admit it, he's hung like a horse and you still have a raft of self-esteem issues.

How many decent guys did you glare at today?

[Anonymous]

Women...