10 Bits of Unsolicited Advice on School-Shopping from Someone who has Been There

[Anonymous]

I assume this is for the preschool and early elementary applicants? For middle and high school I would expect to weigh the child's own input on most of these questions more significantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is for the preschool and early elementary applicants? For middle and high school I would expect to weigh the child's own input on most of these questions more significantly.

We placed our DC in an Independent School for middle school. I did the initial cut, determining which three schools I would be happy to have him at, and then told him we would make the final decision jointly. I preferred School A, but he LOVED School B and so we decided to let him go there. He's excited and that's half the battle!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely and passionately disagree that a parent should basically ignore the huge and rippling effects of a long commute to the "wonderful fit school." There have been probably 10 threads on this in the past few years and while opinion diverged somewhat, the clear majority of parents who chose far away schools regretted it.

And before someone responds (and they ALWAYS Do, so) that "schools have busses that run from ______ to bullis/st anselms / gds" .... remember that the commute is still sucking up hours a day of your CHILD's time. Yes, you dodged the arduous there/back drive yourSELF, Mrs Mom, but your kid didn't.

Also, I get the distinct feeling that peppy perky OP doesn't live in the dc-inside beltway area.

Hi, OP here. Just for clarity:

1) I didn't post that a parent should "ignore the huge and rippling effects of a long commute." I noted that "commute time is important" but suggested that a five minute difference in commute shouldn't necessarily tilt the balance. I don't view five minutes as long though you're free to disagree.
2) I'd choose to be complimented rather than insulted by the "peppy perky" comment, but I fear I stopped being either years ago. Thanks, though.

Yes, you did suggest that a "five minute difference in commute shouldn't necessarily tilt the balance" - but that is a meaningless comment in real life since a five minute difference would never be a factor in this area. Possible the difference between STA, Cathedral, Sidwell and GDS (upper school) might be about 5 minutes for some, but generally commute time is an issue for those outside the beltway commuting in or inside the beltway commuting out. Commuting convenience is, for example, a HUGE factor for many families who choose Holton or Potomac over NCS or Sidwell. Likewise those living in NW DC are unlikely to commute to Potomac or Holton if Sidwell or GDS is an option. Among Catholic schools, commute is HUGE factor in deciding between Prep and Gonzaga or Viz and Stone Ridge.

To be clear, I totally agree with OP IF the difference is 15 minutes or less, but that's not so common in DC. If you are dealing with a difference of 30-60 minutes, commute time is paramount. Even a 30 minute difference will add up to something approaching an extra academic YEAR in the car over the course of a k-12 academic career.

OP here. Thanks, great comments again. Totally understand and agree that commute time is an important factor.

Re the five minute difference being a meaningless comment-- actually, this was exactly the situation in our case. We were situated between good schools in opposite directions, and initially made the mistake of circumscribing our geographic range too narrowly. Only after we expanded it did we investigate the right school, and indeed the difference was less than five minutes. So it can happen, which is why I offered it as a pointer. Obviously the comment was not intended to apply to situations in which the commute time is qualitatively different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is for the preschool and early elementary applicants? For middle and high school I would expect to weigh the child's own input on most of these questions more significantly.

We placed our DC in an Independent School for middle school. I did the initial cut, determining which three schools I would be happy to have him at, and then told him we would make the final decision jointly. I preferred School A, but he LOVED School B and so we decided to let him go there. He's excited and that's half the battle!

OP here. Yes, I was thinking primarily in terms of younger school applicants, so your additional points re kids at different ages are a useful qualifier. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

we put the geography to the wind (we are in VA, school is not). we let our DC decide, in third grade. the preferred choice was clear - very clear - much more clear than a Big 3 option, also not in VA, that was available. it's been a great fit. unless your kids are so sheltered they have no idea where they fit, they will figure out what will work best for them, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and thank you for this. This kind of alternative perspective is exactly the sort of comment I was hoping for.

We have had similar experiences in some cases, "quirky/annoying admissions people" where other school administrators have been quite friendly. Having said that, at the end of the game it was our experience that the warmest schools have had the warmest admissions people, and we found ourselves saying after the fact, "We should have paid more attention to that signal." Also, we found that the quirky admissions people at other schools turned out to be reflective of lesser levels of school responsiveness and flexibility.

Glad to know your experience has been different, and thanks for sharing the information here!

I'm responding to this because its such a great insight and parent should listen up. An AD that is confident and engaing is one who:

is solid in her job ( because the school is cohesive and the admin/ staff work well together, kids and parents happy, etc..

On the other hand a " quirky AD " can signal a person under job stress ( and trying to smile and engage while admin probems , dissatisfied parents, money issues, loom around him/her)

Most familes are full pay. That means when teh AD meets you , you are potentially worth 300,000k to 500,000K / per child in your household. How confident, relaxed and warm they are OR not says a lot about how much they are being foced to look at a balance sheet or not.