Husband always includes his siblings in our plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he the oldest? I've found a lot of us oldest siblings are like this.

No, he's in the middle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't he understand that a married couple should sometimes do couple-y things? Any 5th grader could understand that. In your shoes, I'd be really sad that my husband seemed to prefer bring with his siblings to being with me.

,

+1

What guy wants family time over romance time (meaning sex will surely follow)?

What was he like dating?
I agree w you scheduling date time.

He wasn't like this when we were dating. We did a lot of couple things and traveling (just the two of us).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He likes being with his family. It isn't something new. This is your reality.

He should not force her to hang out w an IL she hates, especially sinceit is intruding on their couples time.
Sounds like he would rather be single....

I think the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he the oldest? I've found a lot of us oldest siblings are like this.

No, he's in the middle.

My husband'a middle sister is like this. She is never alone and one person is not enough. When we lived closer I dreaded inviting her to a dinner or something where I had reservations because I never knew who or how many people she's bring. She just shows up with extra people and figures "they'll squeeze us in". I hate getting the stink eye from hostesses like I can control her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't he understand that a married couple should sometimes do couple-y things? Any 5th grader could understand that. In your shoes, I'd be really sad that my husband seemed to prefer bring with his siblings to being with me.

,

+1

What guy wants family time over romance time (meaning sex will surely follow)?

What was he like dating?
I agree w you scheduling date time.

He wasn't like this when we were dating. We did a lot of couple things and traveling (just the two of us).

What is your sex life like?

Men are so motivated by sex. If you have nice night out, does sex usually result?

If it were my DH, no way in hell would he sabotage that kind of ending to a night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time you schedule a kid-free night, tell him that you'll make all the plans and surprise him. Then make dinner and/or evening plans, don't tell him what's going on and then he can't invite his siblings if he doesn't know the plans. So you can plan a romantic dinner, a romantic walk and then take him home and take advantage of him.

This is a terrible idea. If her husband were the kind to enjoy this, he wouldn't be bringing his siblings to date nights.

[Anonymous]

I would tell your DH that you're starting to feel like you aren't married anymore, if he can't enjoy the occasional evening alone with just you.

I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell your DH that you're starting to feel like you aren't married anymore, if he can't enjoy the occasional evening alone with just you.

I'm so sorry.

I tell him this all the time. Out of anger, I've told him he should've married his siblings.

[Anonymous]

It doesnt sound like your husband wants to spend time with only you. My husband and I much more enjoy spending time with other couples than just each other. Could you _invite another couple of your choosing to join you next time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesnt sound like your husband wants to spend time with only you. My husband and I much more enjoy spending time with other couples than just each other. Could you _invite another couple of your choosing to join you next time?

I tried that once by inviting my best friend and her husband. My husband later said to me that I made him look bad by including friends on a family trip. He claims he didn't mind, but his siblings were the ones that complained and want to make sure it doesn't happen again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't he understand that a married couple should sometimes do couple-y things? Any 5th grader could understand that. In your shoes, I'd be really sad that my husband seemed to prefer bring with his siblings to being with me.

,

+1

What guy wants family time over romance time (meaning sex will surely follow)?

What was he like dating?
I agree w you scheduling date time.

He wasn't like this when we were dating. We did a lot of couple things and traveling (just the two of us).

What is your sex life like?

Men are so motivated by sex. If you have nice night out, does sex usually result?

If it were my DH, no way in hell would he sabotage that kind of ending to a night.

Our sex life is okay. It's rare that we have nice night out, but when we do, sex usually ends our night. However, we spend our evenings alone arguing about him inviting his siblings all the time.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you have bigger relationship problems than just his siblings hanging out on date night. You are annoyed and irritated with him, and he doesn't seem to enjoy your company. When you are with him, do you have fun? Does he feel like time alone with you ends up with you complaining or being needy? There seems to be something in the dynamic that isn't working for either of you.

How is your relationship outside of this date night issue?
How is your sex life?
Are you intimate at home? Have fun at home together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't he understand that a married couple should sometimes do couple-y things? Any 5th grader could understand that. In your shoes, I'd be really sad that my husband seemed to prefer bring with his siblings to being with me.

,

+1

What guy wants family time over romance time (meaning sex will surely follow)?

What was he like dating?
I agree w you scheduling date time.

He wasn't like this when we were dating. We did a lot of couple things and traveling (just the two of us).

What is your sex life like?

Men are so motivated by sex. If you have nice night out, does sex usually result?

If it were my DH, no way in hell would he sabotage that kind of ending to a night.

Our sex life is okay. It's rare that we have nice night out, but when we do, sex usually ends our night. However, we spend our evenings alone arguing about him inviting his siblings all the time.

If the two of you are out alone, his siblings should be off topic. Don't bring them up. Agree to not mention siblings while the two of you are together.

[Anonymous]

The only reason we end up arguing about them is because we just came home from hanging out with them.