Kicked out of summer camp...

[Anonymous]

I think it is typical of many camps. My kid was sent home for the day essentially because the college counselors weren't equipped to deal with his behavior (which wasn't harmful to others, but did cause a small scene). The counselors generally have a very small toolkit for handling behavioral problems, and they also aren't trained to recognize incoming behavior problems so they can prevented before they become a true problem.. I think that you're right that the director first should have called to discuss - not just to give you a warning, but also to see if you had any behavioral management suggestions.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP.

Non-SN camps usually don't have staff prepared to deal with all aspects of SN. They usually pay the counselors and content specialists very little --no matter how much the tuition was. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you can find a camp that hires education majors or there's a counselor with a family member with SN.

I wish they had given you more notice that they were thinking of so serious a consequence.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have almost no information about what happened. For your DS' sake you should have a conversation with the director. You need to know so you can intervene and help your DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They actually did give our money back for the future weeks, which I appreciate. And I'm not saying they necessarily made the wrong decision. I just was a little surprised that this was the first call I ever received from the director. And I guess I don't really have a sense about whether he was endangering other children, since I only got one call about one incident, where he was admittedly being too rough with another child -- they used the term "rough-housing) (although they off handedly previous said something about his not listening well to the teachers). I'm not sure if it was a "one strike and he's out" situation, or if there were additional issues. I guess I also don't have a good sense of what the camps consider to be an acceptable (or at least predictable) level of rough-housing among boys this age -- he mentioned to me that another boy hit or pushed him, and I didn't mention it to the camp, but maybe I should have. He's been to many camps before and never had any problem. I guess I was just wondering if this is typical camp behavior, or if most of them give you a little more warning that there's a problem.

Uh, op, no amount of rough housing is okay in a camp or day care situation. You need to teach him to keep his hands to himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They actually did give our money back for the future weeks, which I appreciate. And I'm not saying they necessarily made the wrong decision. I just was a little surprised that this was the first call I ever received from the director. And I guess I don't really have a sense about whether he was endangering other children, since I only got one call about one incident, where he was admittedly being too rough with another child -- they used the term "rough-housing) (although they off handedly previous said something about his not listening well to the teachers). I'm not sure if it was a "one strike and he's out" situation, or if there were additional issues. I guess I also don't have a good sense of what the camps consider to be an acceptable (or at least predictable) level of rough-housing among boys this age -- he mentioned to me that another boy hit or pushed him, and I didn't mention it to the camp, but maybe I should have. He's been to many camps before and never had any problem. I guess I was just wondering if this is typical camp behavior, or if most of them give you a little more warning that there's a problem.

Uh, op, no amount of rough housing is okay in a camp or day care situation. You need to teach him to keep his hands to himself.

There was actually a fantastic story on NPR this afternoon about how boys learn so much from rough housing. And stopping them does them a disservice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, so you got kicked out, and you don't get your money back? Is that right?

This has happened to us with camps and activities SO MANY TIMES. Even Fairfax Therapeutic Rec camp wouldn't refund the balance for the week after my child lasted 20 minutes there the first day.

[Anonymous]

Well, a certain amount of rough-housing is normal among 5 year old boys. Five is still really young for learning when it is "play" and when it is not ok. It sounds like the camp is really just trying to get rid of him and latched onto the first substantive incident.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, do people here have a lot of incidents when the kids are asked to leave the camp for good, regardless of the provider knowing the kids' diagnose / needs? I am new to the area but getting nervous that I'm about to enroll my kid in a mainstream camp. Do you guys mind sharing the name of the camps that couldn't accommodate your kids (or the ones that absolutely great, beyond expectation), so other parents can learn? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, do people here have a lot of incidents when the kids are asked to leave the camp for good, regardless of the provider knowing the kids' diagnose / needs? I am new to the area but getting nervous that I'm about to enroll my kid in a mainstream camp. Do you guys mind sharing the name of the camps that couldn't accommodate your kids (or the ones that absolutely great, beyond expectation), so other parents can learn? Thanks.

We tried JCC camps last year and they were not equipped to deal with my DS (ASD/ADHD). Constant phone calls, eye rolls from the Camp Director. After 4 days there, we pulled him out. It sucked because the camp was expensive and claimed they accepted SN children. They did give us our money back. Luckily our 2nd choice camp still had a few spots and they were able to accommodate us. Very good transition and they brought out DS' interest in sports!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, do people here have a lot of incidents when the kids are asked to leave the camp for good, regardless of the provider knowing the kids' diagnose / needs? I am new to the area but getting nervous that I'm about to enroll my kid in a mainstream camp. Do you guys mind sharing the name of the camps that couldn't accommodate your kids (or the ones that absolutely great, beyond expectation), so other parents can learn? Thanks.

My DC was kicked out of Congressional Camp a few years ago with a single call from the camp director. We did not receive a refund.

[Anonymous]

I feel for the parents but the camp is thinking of all of the kids if it is a mainstream camp.

[Anonymous]

When I was in college I spent my summers working at a day camp through the local parks and rec department. The one time we every kicked out a camper, it was because she was violent towards other kids, would run away/run off (both at camp and on field trips), and use foul language. She was 5. We (the camp staff) were not equipped to handle a SN child and her behavior was unsafe and took away from the happiness of the other kids. But before she was actually kicked out, we sent home a behavior slip, then had a meeting her parent, then another meeting with her parent and camp director, then, finally, she was asked to leave.

[Anonymous]

If your kid was "rough-housing" my kid, I would go into the camp director's office and DEMAND that they make this stop.

And you'd be lucky if I didn't seek you out and rough-house your sorry ass.

Expulsion was the right decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, my 5-year old just got kicked out of summer camp. I'm a little taken aback because of the lack of warning. Last week, at drop-off, the teacher rather casually mentioned that they were having some trouble with some aggressive behavior and not listening. I said we'd help any way we could, and the teacher said she was implementing a positive discipline system that seemed to be working. This week I got a call from the nurse that he was sent to the office because he was not listening when told to stop doing something to another child. I don't think there was another incident today, but the camp director called and rather abruptly told me that he out. I'm not saying they necessarily made the wrong decision, but I'm a little taken aback that this is the first time I've ever even spoken to the director, and now one had ever suggested that the problem was at the expulsion level. Just wondering if others think this is a bit odd. He went to the same camp last year and really enjoyed it. Clearly he's not going back there in the future, but I'm also wondering if I should steer my other children away from this camp in the future. It's a pretty well known, and not particularly cheap, camp.
I'm also wondering what others in this situation do, moving forward.

I'm sorry this happened to you, OP, but part of the reason that you were blind-sided by this was that you did not follow up enough on the two previous incidents. As a suggestion, if you have a young child in camp or school and you are told by a teacher that "they were having some trouble with aggressive behavior and not listening" then you should spoken to the teacher or the camp director about what happened, what led to the incident (if they know), and what the camp policies on this are. Then you should have worked with your child at home to directly address the aggressive behavior and not listening. Camps and schools often have policies about no violence, hitting, biting, etc and many have policies that have to be in effect. You should have found out what the camp policy was, and what you needed to work on. For the second incident, he was not listening when told not to "do something to another child," so essentially he had a second incident of inappropriate behavior. And you still didn't talk to the camp director or find out the policy. You don't even know what happened today when you were called. Did you ask the director if there had been another incident? There probably was. If so, that makes it three strikes, not one. And you didn't try to make yourself informed about the potential consequences, so you basically ignored the warning signs. When your child was the aggressor, both the first and second time, it wasn't the camp director's responsibility to call you up, it was your responsibility to follow up on the information that you were given and to ensure that your child's behavior issues were addressed. You didn't. From the camp's perspective, you had two prior incidents, did no follow-up on your own about the incident and apparently didn't address the behavioral problems with your son so when whatever happened today occurred, it was the third strike and your child was out.

Moving forward, I hope you learn to be more proactive when you get any minimal report like you got to call the director/administrator and follow up on what happened, what was done for your child, what you need to address and what future consequences may be if your child's behavior doesn't change. Good luck. I hope you find a place that your child can enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid was "rough-housing" my kid, I would go into the camp director's office and DEMAND that they make this stop.

And you'd be lucky if I didn't seek you out and rough-house your sorry ass.

Expulsion was the right decision.

You do realize you are on SN forum and that some of these kids simply cannot regulate their emotions?