Would you move to DC?

[Anonymous]

We've looked at moving to the Philly suburbs. If my job were transferable, we'd do it in a heartbeat. But we're both from PA, and we have a lot of friends in the greater Philly area. If your wife's family is still there, it seems like a no brainer though.

That said, I love living in Alexandria and you don't have to get sucked into the rat race if you don't want to. We know plenty of down to earth people. I have a 40 minute commute-but by train so I use it as time to catch up on reading or podcasts and it's not stressful. Our trade off is schools, but if you go a little further south people love the schools down there (and houses get cheaper). We weren't willing to make the commute trade off, but many people heRe have flexibility to telework so if you can do that it changes things too.

We make a combined HHI of about $240k (wasn't clear whether your wife would also be working or what her salary might be) with 2 kids in daycare right now and live very comfortably.

[Anonymous]

I think you're being a bit myopic. With $300K down, you can find a $700K house near good schools and have a very reasonable mortgage (like could swing a 20 or 15 year mortgage). If you looked at Kensington or Olney, you could get an even lower mortgage. And with a SAHM and family nearby to handle the kids, plus at some point you could probably swing working from home once at week, your commute shouldn't be that horrible.

[Anonymous]

We moved here from NY, and really love it. (Live in upper NW DC). It's a much better place to raise kids than NY -- you can have a house with a yard and still live in the city! Yes, it's expensive, you'll live in an older house most likely, and commuting can be a nightmare if you live further out, but we're happy here and don't plan on leaving anytime soon.

As a lawyer, consider that there are many job opportunities here, including many job opportunities on the regulatory side that you wouldn't have in a place like NYC, or probably Philly for that matter.

[Anonymous]

We also moved from NYC last year and love it. But we were coming from urban high rise and are now in the burbs. To us, this is mellow.

I have to say your post is overwhelmingly negative towards the idea of moving to DC. It sounds like you really don't want to move to the DC area and you want people to tell you to decline the job. How does your wife feel?

[Anonymous]

I love living in DC. With have two kids and live in a downtown neighborhood. There are definitely options for you - especially if you aren't fixated on a large yard and are willing to send your kids to a rising DCPS or to try the charter lottery.

How about Brookland or Woodridge, for example? Single family homes there with yards for $500-800k. Great affordable daycare option in Brookland too - Scrilli School (about $700 a month). Tons of kids there.

Or if you are willing to live in Maryland, how about Hyattsville? Prices are low and the neighborhood is quickly improving, especially close to the arts district. More beautiful single family homes with yards. Fully renovated for less than $500k. Commute in on the red line. There are so many options if you broaden your horizons beyond upper NW and the ritzier suburbs. (Of course you do have to consider schools, but there are options there too).

[Anonymous]

We loved DC but left because the rat race got too exhausting. We were making lots of money and always feeling broke- it gets old after a while. You'll have a better, less stressful, quality of life if you move somewhere less expensive, like Philly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved here from NY, and really love it. (Live in upper NW DC). It's a much better place to raise kids than NY -- you can have a house with a yard and still live in the city! Yes, it's expensive, you'll live in an older house most likely, and commuting can be a nightmare if you live further out, but we're happy here and don't plan on leaving anytime soon.

As a lawyer, consider that there are many job opportunities here, including many job opportunities on the regulatory side that you wouldn't have in a place like NYC, or probably Philly for that matter.

We came from San Francisco for similar reasons and love it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am currently an associate in biglaw (not DC) and have been offered another opportunity at a smaller, more public service focused law firm in DC. I grew up in mid-county Montgomery County and was excited to go back to to be near my family but am getting cold feet because of the housing prices and general type-A ness that I already knew existed in the DC area from when I grew up but seems to have reached a fever pitch, at least judging by this forum, and seems to be worse the closer to the city you get.

My wife and have saved a lot of money by living very frugally and some good fortune (about $650k plus an interest in a very small vested pension). We have a one year old daughter and hope to have at least one more child. We are now not living frugally due to crazy rent + daycare in the downtown of an equally expensive city (our living expenses this year will probably be 85k, up from probably 45k combined pre-child) but other than rent / daycare we just naturally don't spend much other than my bad habit of chipotle at lunch.

We would both view this as Scrooge McDuck type money to have at our age (early 30s), but apparently the $300k that is not in retirement accounts would just be a downpayment for a "tear-down" in Bethesda right now (which we would have no intention of tearing down were we lucky enough to acquire one), which would still leave me with a 45 minute plus commute down to K street and a big, big mortgage that would be tough to swallow on the new salary (around $130k, although that should rise slowly over time) and hopefully a second baby soon. We could do Silver Spring instead but then the homes are "only" $600k and the redline there is slightly slower to get into DC. (A friend just bought there and said his door to door commute downtown is a little under an hour.)

This is all great for all of you that have seen massive appreciation on your homes in the last decade or so, but to a first time buyer looking at the region from outside this just seems absurd. My wife is from Philadelphia and in the nice Philly suburbs we could buy a larger house with a larger lot for probably $400k (e.g., with virually no mortgage if we didn't want one) and daycare would be cheaper and the schools better than Silver Spring (but not Bethesda). If I got a job at reasonable suburban law firm or company I could probably swing a 15-20 minute commute and given the savings we've accumulated would have literally no financial worries for the rest of our lives and in fact could probably retire early and/or work for a nonprofit before 40 if I really wanted to (I've run the numbers), although I would probably work just to stay occupied. We would still be in an area with lots of educated people, many of whom seem to be significantly more laid-back and family-oriented than those in DC.

I am worried that by taking this job I would be just signing up to start a DC rat race that I would rather not run, surrounded in equal parts by obscenely wealthy people whose lifestyle I couldn't, and wouldn't want to, match, and the DC phenomenon of "rich-working-poor" types with $150k incomes and minimal savings, and that they would all be workaholics. I am not naturally type-A but can get caught up in that mentality if its around me (and can compete, and win, and be unhappy doing so).

DC (like NY/SF) seems to be an awesome for highly-educated DINKS to make money quickly but raising a family here while working a job downtown sounds extremely difficult with long hours, long commutes, high housing prices and (in MD at least) high taxes. Is it still possible for someone in DC to work a professional job downtown, not be mortgaged to their eyeballs, raise kids in a good school district, and still be home for dinner? Because this is still possible in many other cities in the county.

Should I just take the money and run to somewhere where I can raise a family in peace, or try out the job in DC and see how it goes? I know there is a lot of money in DC, but I am struggling to believe that so many people can swing $1 million plus homes here and keep their finances in order, so maybe I should just come and rent for a few years then pick up the pieces if interest rates rise and prices go back to at least somewhat approximating what they were when I was growing up?

I'd never raise a kid in the DC metro area. It's a rat race and absurdly overpriced. Enjoy Philly and an easier, more enjoyable life. You'll actually see your kids, if you live there.

Huh? My DH works 40 hours/week with 5 weeks vacation and I SAH. We could "actually see our kids" more unless we had significant inherited wealth. We have an easy, enjoyable life. Sorry yours sucks.