Child won't eat around people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the perspectives. Its easy to say "none of my business" but I love my sister and I love my nephew and I am trying to help and be supportive. I was simply wondering if others had experienced a similar situation. He has gone to feeding clinics before and they say its part of a sensory issue but don't have much help beyond that. Like I said he is not underweight so I don't think the professionals he has seen have really worried too much about the food issues. Sister and DN did go home last night, got a good meal in him and a good nights sleep. She will drive back today to join us if he wants to. (It is only about a 3 hour drive). They did try eating in the car or in a room alone and he didn't take to it. My sister has been told manyy professionals to NOT start drinks like pedicure or protein shakes because it will only fill him up and make him less likely to eat but I think she might buckle and try them this week. He doesn't drink milk well...maybe 4 oz a day. Drinks water all day long so hydration is not an issue. Thanks for those who have helped and please know my sister DOES come to me for advice and guidance and thats why I am gathering experiences. It is definitely not because I want to judge her or my DN, I want to be helpful and knowledgeable. There just seems to me so little about this particular issue on the internet I thought Id reach out to personal experiences.

I'm a parent of a sn child and had to deal with relatives like you. It is not your business and what you are doing is not being supportive. You are trying to take the active role of parent. Giving advice and offering suggestions add to mom's stress. It's a nice idea to educate yourself but keep your advice/knowledge to yourself. You don't support the other relatives advice re forcing the child to eat, do you? Why would she come to you for advice when you have little clue as to what she is going through? You haven't walked in her shoes, so if you want to support her offer to clean her house, run errands, etc. Leave the parenting to her.

Your sister is doing a great job being a wonderful mother to this child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the perspectives. Its easy to say "none of my business" but I love my sister and I love my nephew and I am trying to help and be supportive. I was simply wondering if others had experienced a similar situation. He has gone to feeding clinics before and they say its part of a sensory issue but don't have much help beyond that. Like I said he is not underweight so I don't think the professionals he has seen have really worried too much about the food issues. Sister and DN did go home last night, got a good meal in him and a good nights sleep. She will drive back today to join us if he wants to. (It is only about a 3 hour drive). They did try eating in the car or in a room alone and he didn't take to it. My sister has been told manyy professionals to NOT start drinks like pedicure or protein shakes because it will only fill him up and make him less likely to eat but I think she might buckle and try them this week. He doesn't drink milk well...maybe 4 oz a day. Drinks water all day long so hydration is not an issue. Thanks for those who have helped and please know my sister DOES come to me for advice and guidance and thats why I am gathering experiences. It is definitely not because I want to judge her or my DN, I want to be helpful and knowledgeable. There just seems to me so little about this particular issue on the internet I thought Id reach out to personal experiences.

I'm a parent of a sn child and had to deal with relatives like you. It is not your business and what you are doing is not being supportive. You are trying to take the active role of parent. Giving advice and offering suggestions add to mom's stress. It's a nice idea to educate yourself but keep your advice/knowledge to yourself. You don't support the other relatives advice re forcing the child to eat, do you? Why would she come to you for advice when you have little clue as to what she is going through? You haven't walked in her shoes, so if you want to support her offer to clean her house, run errands, etc. Leave the parenting to her.

Your sister is doing a great job being a wonderful mother to this child.

The OP said that her sister actively requested advice from OP. Keep up. Your post is not at all in line with OP's posts. Did you even read them? Sorry OP that you have to read stuff like this when you have such good intentions for your nephew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the perspectives. Its easy to say "none of my business" but I love my sister and I love my nephew and I am trying to help and be supportive. I was simply wondering if others had experienced a similar situation. He has gone to feeding clinics before and they say its part of a sensory issue but don't have much help beyond that. Like I said he is not underweight so I don't think the professionals he has seen have really worried too much about the food issues. Sister and DN did go home last night, got a good meal in him and a good nights sleep. She will drive back today to join us if he wants to. (It is only about a 3 hour drive). They did try eating in the car or in a room alone and he didn't take to it. My sister has been told manyy professionals to NOT start drinks like pedicure or protein shakes because it will only fill him up and make him less likely to eat but I think she might buckle and try them this week. He doesn't drink milk well...maybe 4 oz a day. Drinks water all day long so hydration is not an issue. Thanks for those who have helped and please know my sister DOES come to me for advice and guidance and thats why I am gathering experiences. It is definitely not because I want to judge her or my DN, I want to be helpful and knowledgeable. There just seems to me so little about this particular issue on the internet I thought Id reach out to personal experiences.

I'm a parent of a sn child and had to deal with relatives like you. It is not your business and what you are doing is not being supportive. You are trying to take the active role of parent. Giving advice and offering suggestions add to mom's stress. It's a nice idea to educate yourself but keep your advice/knowledge to yourself. You don't support the other relatives advice re forcing the child to eat, do you? Why would she come to you for advice when you have little clue as to what she is going through? You haven't walked in her shoes, so if you want to support her offer to clean her house, run errands, etc. Leave the parenting to her.

Your sister is doing a great job being a wonderful mother to this child.

I'm the parent of a kid with an ASD and I don't agree with you AT ALL. I was working my ass off trying to help my child and my family offered no suggestions, input, or advice. I felt really alone and felt like I was the only person dealing with the problem. DH was AWOL because he couldn't admit that there was a problem. I was figuring everything out on my own. After I had a DX and started therapy for DS, my brother and my mother said "We knew something was wrong, but we didn't want to say anything. We were worried." (AAAAAhhhhh! Do you think you could have said something, people? I thought I was crazy!)

If a family member wants to educate herself and help brainstorm ideas, I'd love it. As long as they let me make the final call, and recognize that they are support, I'd love it.

[Anonymous]

I think it isn't your business OP.

[Anonymous]

It could be related to anxiety - some children have a phobia of eating in front of others. If he does indeed have ADHD it often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a speech-language pathologist who specializes in working with infants and children with feeding disorders. The behavior that you are describing goes beyond that of a picky eater and sounds like the characteristics of a true feeding disorder. Coping with a feeding disorder can be incredibly stressful for both the parents and the child and it can feel like a never ending battle. I would love to chat with your sister about her son if she is still looking for help. I am currently seeing private clients for in-home feeding therapy and would be more than happy to set up a consultation with them. Please let me know if I can be of any help!

Julie Ball, MS, CCC-SLP
dcfeedingtherapy {at} gmail {dot} com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it isn't your business OP.

I don't understand your people. Why do all of you want to have siblings for your child? Don't you want them to offer support to each other when they grow up? To me, helping me research an issue would be a great support. The OP was not judgmental et al; she is trying to gather information to help her sister and nephew. Are parents the only people who can do research now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is normal weight but doesn't eat in social situations because he is too stimulated that sounds age related to me. There's not necessarily a diagnosis called for here. Many young children are too stimulated outside the home to talk much, to eat, to interact and do the things they might normally do. It's a matter of age and stimulation level. This is not a syndrome or diagnosis.

What is strange is your relatives telling her to "toughen up and make the boy eat." What is their investment in this? Controlling him?

As long as he is hydrated, this is so not a big deal.

+1

If the kid is not starving, it's not worth fighting a battle over.

Will he drink around other people? I'd put him on Ensure shakes and forget about it.

[Anonymous]

Strongly disagree with the suggestion that parents should wait this out. It is disabling and affects the whole family. This is not a sensory issue. It sounds like an anxiety issue. A feeding clinic is a good idea, or a developmental pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

I think different families have a different MYOB policy and that's why some people are saying to stay out of it. But if you are from a family that feels that YOUR problem is OUR problem, then definitely research and offer help and advice. OP knows her family better than anyone else here. Trust she knows at least that much.

I also second the eating clinic idea.

[Anonymous]

I have a very dear friend that just left this morning from visiting for the weekend. Her ASD son will not eat around anyone else either, and is grossed out when near others that are eating.

Her son is autistic, high functioning, but also diagnosed with misophonia. It took her a long time to find a doctor to diagnose it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/06/health/06annoy.html?_r=0

I hope this helps.