Is it me????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my husband went away on a trip for the job he loves and of course I was home manning the ship. He was supposed to come straight home, but instead decided to make a pit stop (unessasary I might add) at work which of course turned into hours and I was and still am absoltuley LIVID. So, instead of what I thought was going to be relief in that he would handle bed time and maybe dinner turned into on duty for me.

When I go on business trips I make sure get home as soon as possible to "relieve" him because I know what it feels like. What pisses me off more is that he just doesn't get it. Am I overreacting? I cannot seem to let go of being pissed.

I do know what you mean. My DH travels maybe 2 months out of the year for work (at one and two week timeframes) but the worst was when "we" had started to potty train our oldest daughter (which was our fault we had put off so long and couldn't keep pushing it back) and I had taken off Friday and it was potty all the time with just me and her. On Saturday, I had my youngest there too who would also want to sit on the potty when she saw her sister and it was going to the bathroom every 10-15 minutes in between watching potty videos and reading potty books and all I could think is I just had to make it until 2pm on Saturday and backup would arrive - and of course my daughter was fine on Friday and then had several accidents in the course of a few hours. My husband's plane was delayed and he basically wasn't coming home until the next day. I thought I would go crazy. It wasn't so much that he called an hour or two before he should have been home to tell me his plane was delayed, it was that he was so oh well about it. When he came home, I was so mad I don't even think I spoke and said I had to go and immediately left the house to relax and calm down. Later when I was calm enough and he asked me what was wrong I explained, I understand that mechanical difficulties are out of his control - and perhaps he either didn't know what to say, or assumed I knew how he felt but I told him I needed him to verbally say "yeah, I know this sucks, I know it is hard potty training the kids all by yourself and I'll try to make it up to you". I think he did call briefly later in the day to see how things were going in the potty training - but I had expected him to do more checking in with the kids etc. It was a low blow - but I think I even mentioned when he wasn't there when my daughter had to have minor surgery at 4 months because he was traveling. In the end, I think we found a balance. He still travels at inconvenient times, but I talk to him once if not twice a day so if there is something brewing he knows before it can spin out of control. He always tries to talk to the girls once a day. When he comes home, if it has been a particular rough week for me, he will say - go ahead I know you have to makeup some time at work and he will have the kids alone for an evening or two - or offer to take the girls on his errands alone if he thinks I need the time by myself etc. The constant communication and thoughtfulness makes what isn't always the ideal situation easier to deal with.