Help me be a real trooper for my DH
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Anonymous
| Wow! I'm getting nauseous thinking about it. That said, I have done some medical stuff I never thought I could do. I now know I can give shots and IV's and clean (small) open wounds. |
Anonymous
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I had to do this for my DH too. Trust me - you can totally step up and do this! And then you have it to lord over him when you need to in the future (only partially kidding!).
I thought I'd pass out when the nurse trained me on unpacking the wound, cleansing, etc. But I didn't. And when I had to do it myself, I draped towels on either side, so it seemed more removed from "him", and just a very specific task I needed to complete. FWIW, we did get insurance coverage for home health visits during his recovery. I did the morning and evening wound care, and the visiting nurse came by mid-day. It turned out to be good prep for having to do wound care on our infant, post-op, which I never would have had the strength to do without having gone through this with DH. And, seriously, it's great to pull it out for leverage later on (but only lovingly, and with great humor). |
Anonymous
| Go to your training, and decide if you can handle that. If you can't, hire someone to do it. |
Anonymous
This, between kid and DH having had illnesses and surgery, I was able to get thru and do what needed to be done. It's worse THINKING ABOUT IT, than it is in the moment when you just have to 'get 'er done. I would also suggest you get a face mask -- u can get them at CVS. In case the wound smells or there is any chance that you will gag. |
Anonymous
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I had to do this for my teen daughter recently when her surgical wound opened, and of course, it was very hard. For me the issue wasn't so much disgust, but panic at the realization that there was this gaping hole in my child and something was very, very wrong. She has had a lot of health problems and this was another situation in which even her most basic safety (defense against infection, this time) was spinning dizzyingly out of my control.
It was definitely one of those times I had to force myself to find those big girl pants because my child needed me. DH wouldn't do, even though he's actually pretty steady about post-surgical gore, because his mental health leaves him unreliable in general about anything else. Who knew whether he'd be up for providing twice-daily care on a schedule for 2 months no matter how he was feeling! So I did it. There's just nothing else to it... Sometimes life hands you these situations in which you, as the default adult, just have to take care of terrifying business. If it helps, I can offer that I became more comfortable with the process as it became more familiar. I started to learn how to make the wound look less messy and, over time, it got smaller. The panic has subsided as I've wrested some control back from the gaping hole. I expect you, too, will feel better about having to do this once you pick up a little experience. |
Anonymous
| OP, you can totally do this. I had to scrub (and scrub HARD) the 3rd degree burns on my 1 year old every day for about a month - while there wasn't a lot of blood involved it looked horrible and cause serious pain for him (he totally recovered with just a tiny scar). It still turns my stomach to think about it, but you have to do what you have to do. |
Anonymous
| I still don't think it's so awful to look into hiring someone. Do you have a neighborhood listserv? Post something and maybe a nurse or a CNA would be willing to help you, and you could pay them a flat rate for the period of time you need this done. If they live in your neighborhood, they might be interested in making easy, extra money. |
Anonymous
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It's *trouper*, as in a member of a traveling performance group...BUT,
As others have said, act like a brave state *trooper *and do the best you can. |
Anonymous
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OK, OP here again, back from the appointment.
First, thanks to everyone for the positive encouragement, that meant a lot to mean and helped calm me down prior to going in earlier. I think I will be able to do this. The wound doesn't look as bad as my imagination was leading me to believe ahead of time, but on the other hand, it is a big gaping hole in my DH's back! I almost passed out when I first saw it but then I just pushed through that and paid attention to what the nurse was saying. It needs to be done twice a day for a month. I will get through this. |
Anonymous
| OP again... I meant to say to the PP whose child had a 3rd degree burn that you had to deal with... I am so sorry. That sounds really really bad and I can't imagine having to go through that either as a 1-year-old, or as a 1-year-old's mother. I am glad he is healed up OK now. |
Anonymous
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OP, if it makes you feel better, my MD/PhD friend who is a pediatric hematologist/oncologist said when she had a pre-cancerous something removed from her face, she almost passed out when she looked at the wound for the first time.
You can do it! I had foot surgery and my husband almost passes out at the thought of blood so I had to change my own dressings. You've got this! |
Anonymous
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Hugs to 15:49. That sounds so scary. And having a DH that is mentally fragile just compounds things.
And the Mom with the 1 yr old with 3rd degree burns. Agh! So scary! Glad to hear DC recovered well! |
Anonymous
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I'm sure you can do it. If you can wipe kids butts, you can manage. Like most women in the DC area, chances are you're a bit Type A and when something needs to be done, you just godo it. Same with this. You've totally got this. I never thought I would be able to do it but I've dressed bed sores and helped my BFF go to the bathroom after she got out of a week in ICU. It can be done. Just go about your business and make small talk if you have to, discuss menial tasks to be done or whatever you need in order to distract both of you from the actual work.
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