Q re 529 plans
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Anonymous
+1 This is the very definition of the expression about cutting off your nose to spite your face. |
Anonymous
| Need more details about the illegal activity. |
Anonymous
| OP I really feel for you....I have a mother who sounds very much like your MIL and under NO circumstances would I ever give her my kids soc sec numbers. She actually used my ssn when I was in college to open credit card accounts that I knew nothing about, maxed out the cards and left me with a credit disaster to clean up at 20 years old. There have been times when she has begged us to babysit the kids for a weekend and when we get there she tells us she needs $100 to buy pizza and take them to a movie. She's done a bunch of other shady stuff too so in short I just don't trust her. If you're feeling apprehensive about giving MIL the ssn then there is probably good reason...you are not obligated to do it and you shouldn't feel that you are. That is your child and as nice as the gesture may seem, you don't have to accept it. Good luck... |
Anonymous
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Most identity thefts are committed by family. If you know of illegal behavior by your mil, then your apprehension is justified.
I learned it was no use to directly say no to my narcissist. Instead, just let her talk without disagreeing, and if she pushes, make vague future assurances. Then just don't do it. Fail to follow through. Forget. Unless, you actually think she means it and will actually do this saving on behalf of the grandchild? Does she follow through? |
Anonymous
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OP,
If she engages in illegal activity, then you've got your answer and in the end there was no need to start a thread -- especially one in which the original post did not include the most important information! It is also strange that you don't tell us where you husband is on this. I also think you're upset about your MIL's estate. (If it's equal among the grandchildren, it's equal.) The answer to the SS# for grandparent 629's is everywhere on the internet, on reputable financial services sites. Google this: 529 grandparent for grandchild need social security number? |
Anonymous
| op here. thanks for the helpful/sympathetic responses. i am going to see if i can provide the SS directly to MIL's employer. Not sure why this is relevant, but my husband is 100% in agreement that he does not want to give her the info - in fact, he's the one who felt that way first and he convinced me. He has a lot of history with her and is wary of anything she says. And to those of you who think I'm pissed about the inheritence, yes I am which is why I included the info. At least, I don't think she is being fair and equal - to me that would mean leaving her estate 50/50 to her two children, instead of 4/5 to her grandchildren who are the offspring of one of her children and 1/5 to the grandchild who is the offspring of the other of her children. But her money, her choice. To me it is an example of one more thing she does to make everything about her - her motivator for that change to her will (originally everything was divided between her two kids) is "so my grandchildren remember me." Ugh. Be there for your grandkids and be sane and that's how they'll remember you fondly, not leaving them money! Ok, very off topic now ... |
Anonymous
This. You can put a freeze on her SSN if you're concerned about credit fraud. Sounds like you are letting your personal relationship and feelings about her interfere. |
Anonymous
Your thoughts about how she should split up her estate are ridiculous. It's totally decent what she is proposing to do and her reasons are totally sane. |
Anonymous
| I think the division of the estate to the grandkids is a wonderful idea. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Do you know how lucky you are to have these problems? She is being fair and equal with the inheritance -- unless some grandchildren are getting more than the others. But apparently they are not. Sorry but she is your MIL, not your mother, and her decision not to leave her estate to her two children is HERS. Is DH ticked off about the inheritance? If so, money can mess things up! Good luck with all of it. There are people out there who would love a crazy MIL who came with money for the grandchildren! |
Anonymous
+1000 So don't give the child's SS# to evil grandma. That'll teach her. Now OP and her DH can pay for DC's college themselves and/or make DC take out loans. 
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