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[quote=Anonymous]op here. thanks for the helpful/sympathetic responses. i am going to see if i can provide the SS directly to MIL's employer. Not sure why this is relevant, but my husband is 100% in agreement that he does not want to give her the info - in fact, he's the one who felt that way first and he convinced me. He has a lot of history with her and is wary of anything she says. And to those of you who think I'm pissed about the inheritence, yes I am which is why I included the info. At least, I don't think she is being fair and equal - to me that would mean leaving her estate 50/50 to her two children, instead of 4/5 to her grandchildren who are the offspring of one of her children and 1/5 to the grandchild who is the offspring of the other of her children. But her money, her choice. To me it is an example of one more thing she does to make everything about her - her motivator for that change to her will (originally everything was divided between her two kids) is "so my grandchildren remember me." Ugh. Be there for your grandkids and be sane and that's how they'll remember you fondly, not leaving them money! Ok, very off topic now ...[/quote]

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