Shady Grove is really Shitty Grove

[Anonymous]

Look, the OP was just venting. I don't see why anyone should be challenging her. The fact that you had a successful experience at Shady Grove does not negate the fact that she as a negative one.

So to poster 9:27 who claims OP is accomplishing nothing by posting, what are you accomplishing by your attack on the OP.

I have good tales and bad to tell about Shady Grove and CFA. So I can relate to what OP is experiencing and the need to vent.

[Anonymous]

I am poster 9:27 and this is why I think she is not accomplishing anything

Someone complained that the "how could they send a mother's day card to triers" email complaint thread was old.

The OP herself basically said that people are complaining this topic is old. Moving it to a new thread is not going to accomplish anything new (from a thread that is not old... just 'old' in the rhetoric of the anger and hate spewed from people). Please vent away about bad treatment but this was an attempt to revive a very vitriol thread and this is not healthy.

I would even understand if someone posted 'Frustrated with Treatment' or 'What are Other Options' and tried to have a meaningful thread about what to do within a clinic or how to move to another clinic (records, frozen embryos)when they experience bad treatment, but do we really need another attack thread that is just digging to repeat the same outrage discussed this past week. We get it... some people have had bad experiences with SGFC and some have not. This goes for any of the local clinics so why not just start a general 'The shitty treatment we received by MD/VA/DC IF clinics...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the OP was just venting. I don't see why anyone should be challenging her. The fact that you had a successful experience at Shady Grove does not negate the fact that she as a negative one.

So to poster 9:27 who claims OP is accomplishing nothing by posting, what are you accomplishing by your attack on the OP.

I have good tales and bad to tell about Shady Grove and CFA. So I can relate to what OP is experiencing and the need to vent.

She started the thread because the other thread on Shady Grove had run its course and she still is interested in stirring the pot. Got it, not everyone likes Shady Grove and it sounds like many have very good reasons for it. But do we really need another thread with nasty, vitriolic posts? Is there anything constructive that's going to come of that?

I had a mixed experience there, but ultimately I got a baby out of the deal. I'm grateful for that.

[Anonymous]

OP- this is not healthy. I understand your frustration related to infertility but you need to find a different therapeutic outlet.

[Anonymous]

I am sitting here feeding my newborn who is here thanks to SG. Sorry you hate them, but they have helped many of us achieve a child.

[Anonymous]

OMG, let people vent. That's what the forums are for. And people comparing clinics deserve to know about mistakes made by Shady Grove, and any other clinic. I'm expecially grateful for doctor reviews. Before I found this forum, I had two incompetent doctors--VERY easy to stumble into one in the field of infertility.

This is such an intensely emotional process. People need to vent, that's what the forum is for!

If you don't like it, no one is forcing you to read the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the OP was just venting. I don't see why anyone should be challenging her. The fact that you had a successful experience at Shady Grove does not negate the fact that she as a negative one.

So to poster 9:27 who claims OP is accomplishing nothing by posting, what are you accomplishing by your attack on the OP.

I have good tales and bad to tell about Shady Grove and CFA. So I can relate to what OP is experiencing and the need to vent.

This is way beyond venting. It's immature and full of vitriol. It's like a few posters are making SG the be all and end all of happiness/sadness in their lives. Take responsibility for your choices and move on.

[Anonymous]

How different is this venting out different than someone who recently complained about her sister being insensitive? What usefulness did that forum have for so many people commented on it?
I have never been to SG by the way. I do not find anything wrong with venting out. Not all people get treated equally and not all people find success at any clinic for that matter. There are pros and cons and the OP unfortunately experienced only cons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone complained that the "how could they send a mother's day card to triers" email complaint thread was old. So do people have complaints about SG other than the card? I suspect so.

List the topic of your complaint before you vent - but vent. Keeping it inside and thinking that shitty treatment is acceptable is NOT okay and won't help you. Stress adds to infertility and all SGF does is provide stress to people already stressed out.

Some of the options for complaints:
1. Financial
2. Nurse
3. Doctor
4. Staff
5. SGF policies - not explained until you lived it?
6. attitude
7. advertising - other than the email

And state which office - everyone thinks its just DC - but I think the other offices have their issues, DC just might be the worst.

Staff

I went in for a uterus scan months after a miscarriage. While items were in my vagina; fluid is being put in my vagina I was asked how old my child was. Really? Yeah - I asked "what?" and the technician said well you have been pregnant before from the way your uterus looked, so how old is your little one. I told her I had a miscarriage months ago and hadn't gotten pregnant since so that is why I was at a fertility clinic. Seriously.

SGF management said she should have read the chart. Really - you think? And SGF management asked me her name - really - because they can't look up my chart and see who performed it that way.

If staff is so busy busy busy (she was chatting with another staffer when I came in about social things not working) then put little dots on the folders like purple for miscarriage; green for secondary infertility; orange for medically shy; etc. So that staff has a quick way to know. How hard is that?

Really, OP? Sure, vent. But don't try to justify it as a necessary part of conceiving. That's ridiculous. Though you may theoretically receive some stress relief from venting, you could gain it all back and then some by dwelling on negativity, especially about experiences you cannot control/change and those that have nothing to do with you. What is the point of that?

Share, address what issues need to be addressed, and then move on.

[Anonymous]

Who said OP didn't get pregnant or has a kid through SG?

I had a baby 2 years ago from SG and had a horrible experience. I think maybe DC folk are so used to bad behavior by staff at various places they have no idea its unacceptable.

I still can't stand SG after seeing the drama it has brought to my friends.

I have seen them turn a 35 year old friend who was peri-menapauseal away because she couldn't afford donor eggs. She got pregnant at dominion with IUI and clomid after 2 cycles.

I had a friend who asked for a second opinion on her protocol (she got preggo on the first IVF cycle) and was told if she was going to question her doctor like that she could go somewhere else. For those who think you can just switch - really - waiting 6 weeks to get an appt; maybe waiting another month or two so SG can run tests and then being told the day you are going to start to go somewhere else? That's stressful and uncalled for. I had to explain to the same friend how IVF worked because SG never did - she wanted to know what was going to happen to her body; what to expect; etc. She signed up to run a 10 k right before her egg retrieval - no one at SG told her she would be too uncomfortable to do it let alone she could burst one of her ovary. She had a TON of eggs (its why it worked on the first time). She faked a flu to get out of the race that she was doing with friends - most people don't tell everyone that they are doing this until its done.

BTW these are all gay women like me - so all using donor sperm.

I'd love to hear what the husbands who have to donate at SG think about the place. I remember seeing men walk in and looking horribly uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for them emotionally though is kind of comical vs all of us who have to have vaginal ultrasounds (which btw is just par for the course for IVF). What isn't par for the course is having someone walk in while you are "open to the world" without knocking. Yeah that happened to me.

Are you supposed to tolerate bad behavior to have a kid?

I'm gay I knew going into SG I would see a thousand times - husband. I think they have changed that to partner so that is a step in being human especially in an area like DC.

[Anonymous]

I'm gay I knew going into SG I would see a thousand times - husband. I think they have changed that to partner so that is a step in being human especially in an area like DC.

It was Partner on my paperwork when I started my first round if IVF at SG in July 2012. Still partner when I went back a couple months ago. This coincidentally caused a problem for me since the form says partner so the original request for insurance coverage denied it based on must be using husbands sperm (all insurance and nothing to do with SGF). Once we submitted the marriage certificate it was resolved (I still have not wrapped my head around how my insurance company denied it when I am actually on my husbands insurance and had to submit the marriage certificate to even get on the insurance... but they saw a loophole and denied it without caring).

I am sorry you had a horrible experience with them but congrats on your baby (or I guess toddler now if this was 2 years ago).

[Anonymous]

I think the whole infertility process is so painful and rife with frustration that people are going to complain about any/every doctor, nurse, clinic, etc that pisses them off. I did not go to Shady Grove but could repeat the same complaints about the two clinics I went to. (Annoying nurses, frustrating finance dept, mistaken appointments, "wrong" protocol, yadda yadda yadda.) Perspective people! It all sucks. I am just grateful the treatments exist in this area.

[Anonymous]

I am just grateful the treatments exist in this area.

+1000

Without it I would not have my beautiful child. I did post on the other thread about how grateful I am to SGFC. I am an ovarian cancer survivor which left me with fertility issues (well actually left me with one ovary but no tubes). I am beyond grateful first for my life and second to have a biological child which I didn't think would ever be possible. SGFC may not be perfect but I don't care as they serve a means to an end for me. I have had an amazing experience there with my doctor and she truly cares and asks me how my child is doing when I am cycling for #2. Even if the billing department is not always great or some of the techs jump the gun and open the door a little faster than I had a chance to get completely covered on the table I don't really care (I am actually happy to get in and out very fast during the monitoring so I can get to work).

I personally feel that stress is something you you can control in how you deal with it. The issues and stress I have dealt with during my IVF cycles are so minuscule to the stress I dealt with when I was told I have ovarian cancer. I am probably the only IVF patient that actually goes in with a crazy smile on my face because to me this is not stressful but an opportunity to potentially have another child (it may or may not work again but I refuse to dwell and stress over something I can't control). There will always be something thrown at you in life that will make something else seem insignificant and I hope that the OP and others can find a way to control and reduce their stress that IF is causing them. Life is not always fair but I hope people don't let bitterness over IF destroy the lives and family/relationships they currently have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm gay I knew going into SG I would see a thousand times - husband. I think they have changed that to partner so that is a step in being human especially in an area like DC.

It was Partner on my paperwork when I started my first round if IVF at SG in July 2012.

Yes, just filled out the paperwork, and it's partner everywhere. Now if they'd just take the additional step of structuring the paperwork to acknowledge that not all of us have partners, that would be truly twenty first century! I mean...they bothered to ask if you are related to your partner other than by marriage, how about asking if you're one of the growing number of women flying solo?

[Anonymous]

I know and know of so many women whose clinics don't cycle year round, and force women to conform to a few specific dates. I am so grateful for SG's availability.