What does "I've fallen for you" mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have slept with someone that didn't tell me they loved me. Also normally boyfriends and girlfriends say they love each other before they achieve that status.

That said, my DH took 6 months to say it. Guess he had to wait a long while for sex! hah

I love you. I. Love. You.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have slept with someone that didn't tell me they loved me. Also normally boyfriends and girlfriends say they love each other before they achieve that status.

That said, my DH took 6 months to say it. Guess he had to wait a long while for sex! hah

I have slept with many people who did not tell me they were in love with me and who I was also not in love with. Not everyone links having sex to being in love.

As for normally saying "I love you" before even calling someone your boyfriend, you dated your husband for 6 months, with no status in his life (girlfriend or otherwise) and when he said 3 words to you, you immediately became his girlfriend and sex partner? What did you consider your relationship the month before he said it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have slept with someone that didn't tell me they loved me. Also normally boyfriends and girlfriends say they love each other before they achieve that status.

That said, my DH took 6 months to say it. Guess he had to wait a long while for sex! hah

I have slept with many people who did not tell me they were in love with me and who I was also not in love with. Not everyone links having sex to being in love.

As for normally saying "I love you" before even calling someone your boyfriend, you dated your husband for 6 months, with no status in his life (girlfriend or otherwise) and when he said 3 words to you, you immediately became his girlfriend and sex partner? What did you consider your relationship the month before he said it?

Not the poster you quoted, but my partner said "I love you." before we had sex. And we didn't immediately have sex after that. We discussed exclusive dating after about 3 weeks of dating and communicating electronically. He knew there would be no sex unless we were exclusive. I hadn't planned to wait until he said "I love you", but it just panned out that way.

[Anonymous]

This must be same poster with similar love questions that were only dating for 2 mos.

[Anonymous]

To me, adore is so much stronger than love.

for me too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must be same poster with similar love questions that were only dating for 2 mos.

Dating at this point (post divorce, 40s) can be confusing. You're too old and vulnerable for bed-hopping. Too young to give the "Let's not waste each other's time." speech.

My ex-DH is dating someone new. He is more into her than she is into him (his words, not mine) and he's the type to fall hard fast. It's hard watching him struggle, especially since he is rushing to introduce kids.

[Anonymous]

He is the only one who knows what it means. So don't think about it at all.

If you are ready to say I love you, do and that will let you know where things stand.

Waiting and seeing how things go and what else he says is good too. If he is "the one" you can't mess this up.

[Anonymous]

i'm over 40. was dating someone last year for several months. he said he was falling for me...i was definitely falling for him. i know i was infatuated with him and he with me. once it settled down a little (after 4 or 5 months, i was ready to really be in it...and then he broke up with me.

give it a little time. not suggesting he is not the one for you but try to pace yourself a little. you need to know people for a little bit...

enjoy it though.

[Anonymous]

For me, "I love you" is a MUCH bigger deal than having sex. In fact, DH was the first and only person I've ever said it to. To me, saying "I love you" is a precursor to "Let's get married", not a precursor to having sex. I don't say the L word until I know that this is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So for me, "I'm falling for you" would be a way of expressing that I really have strong feelings, but am not quite ready to make a permanent commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means he wants to have sex with you and is infatuated with you.

If he wants to say "I love you," he'll say "I love you."

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means he wants to have sex with you and is infatuated with you.

If he wants to say "I love you," he'll say "I love you."

This.

"I've fallen for you" sounds both pseudo-Victorian and vaguely resentful. "You're nothing but a common shopgirl from Spitfields, Emily, but I've fallen for you. I'll put you up in a 33k pounds a year flat so I can have my way with you in between siring legitimate children and serving as an expert witness in this new field of medicine started by this Germanic chap Freud."

Well done. I'm surprised you have gotten more kudos on this work.

[Anonymous]

Don't pay attention to anything he says. Watch what he does. Words are meaningless.

[Anonymous]

I think he loves you; he realizes it especially because he's away, and since he's over 40 he knows enough to realize that email or texting "I love you" for the first time is not the memory he wants to create; he wants it to be as it should be, in person, and to see your reaction.

But he can't keep his mouth shut so he's both tipping his hand and getting a little of his nerve up with "I've fallen for you" which is more acceptable to say for the first time via email or text.

That being said, most of the other interpretations also make sense. And I agree with the PP who says that behavior trumps words.

Promise us when you find out, come back here and let us know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BF said that in an email yesterday (he is out of the country until Sunday), but I'm not sure what it means...is it a precursor to "I love you" or....a safe way of saying "I love you"... or??

I think he is the love of my life and don't want to screw it up, so I need to know how to interpret...thanks!

I say you nailed it right there.

He may not want to say it yet, he may feel it is too early and not want to jump the gun, but he wants you to know that things are definitely headed in that direction...Meaning the direction of L-O-V-E.

Lucky Girl you are OP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means he wants to have sex with you and is infatuated with you.

If he wants to say "I love you," he'll say "I love you."

This.

"I've fallen for you" sounds both pseudo-Victorian and vaguely resentful. "You're nothing but a common shopgirl from Spitfields, Emily, but I've fallen for you. I'll put you up in a 33k pounds a year flat so I can have my way with you in between siring legitimate children and serving as an expert witness in this new field of medicine started by this Germanic chap Freud."

Well done. I'm surprised you have gotten more kudos on this work.

Yes, thanks for the laugh!