Help me stop ruminating over expensive mistake

[Anonymous]

I learned long ago that I will "waste" a lot of money on my kids over their lifetime. It's part of allowing kids to try new things and grow up.

[Anonymous]

OP - Your financial "mistake" pales in the ill begotten choice I made for a husband and the father of my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-LOL. I think I wasn't clear-I'm not still thinking about it a year later; I took the action a year ago but just recently realized I'd been wrong. So I've only been ruminating for a couple of weeks.

The mistake is that DD is a very talented musician (think all-state, contest-winning, jaw-dropping good). So we upgraded and purchased an expensive instrument thinking it would be for the long term, and now she's decided that she no longer wants to continue.

I'm sure you can sell it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. We didn't pressure her into continuing-at the time she wanted to. Based on that, we decided to upgrade. So she didn't ask for it, no, but she was very happy about it. She doesn't have the personality where it could work to force her to continue, so we won't do that. I've thought about selling it but I think maybe we should keep it in case she changes her mind.

Can you sit down with her and explain the financial cost and implications.

If nothing else - it is a life lesson for everyone.

Hey Sara, I support what ever your decision is - I just wanted to let you understand that choices have financial implications. In this case, we purchased the AAA Tuba. We did it because you love playing the Tuba, and the AAA really accentuated your style. We made the choice to purchase the AAA - but the AAA was quite expensive. The AAA is the equivalent of a semester at college. We can not leave the tuba sitting in the corner if you are not going to pick it up again. If you decided to play again, you still have the A - and the A is a fine Tuba.

[Anonymous]

Easy one! Give her a six-month morning that you're going to downgrade the dulcimer or news food or whatever. Then, in six months, sell it, and buy a used instrument similar to the one she had before (you might even be able to work it into the deal with the person you sell it to, who will probably be upgrading). And don't lose a moment's sleep about it.

I once turned the wrong dial and borked our whole house steam boiler. $10,000 later… Mistakes happen, you know? And this one was a totally reasonable one.

[Anonymous]

Ha – "news food" is what Siri makes of "nose flute".

[Anonymous]

I was a very gifted pianist as a child. In 6th grade my dad bought me a grand piano. I quit playing 6 months later. The piano was just lovely living room furniture. Come 9th grade when I find out I can take "independent study piano" as an elective. I decided I would play again. I had to play an hour a day at school, but I found myself practicing at home too. Eventually I was taking the independent study course and orchestra. I went on to minor in performance in piano. That grand piano is now in my house. I don't play it as much as I used to, but I love it and I do still sit down, especially around the holidays, and play.

I'm not saying you have to keep it, but I don't know that waiting a year or two is going to hurt you. Instruments don't lose value like other things. They aren't significantly updated from year to year. Its resale value today will likely be very close to the resale value in a couple years. I would just wait.

[Anonymous]

agreed, an instrument is almost like a savings account, the value will be stable

[Anonymous]

OP again--thanks all! These are very good ideas, and I'm feeling better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here-LOL. I think I wasn't clear-I'm not still thinking about it a year later; I took the action a year ago but just recently realized I'd been wrong. So I've only been ruminating for a couple of weeks.

The mistake is that DD is a very talented musician (think all-state, contest-winning, jaw-dropping good). So we upgraded and purchased an expensive instrument thinking it would be for the long term, and now she's decided that she no longer wants to continue.

I'm sure you can sell it?

The mistake was not buying the instrument, but keeping it if it is not being used. That is something that can be remedied: by selling it. You still feel bad becuase you are still making the mistake.

[Anonymous]

I would never see the purchase of an instrument as a financial mistake. Even if it is not being used now, there will be other kids, cousins, grandkids, nieces and nephews. And as others have said, its value will be stable. Your daughter also might surprise you and pick it up again in a few months! I do that with my hobbies all the time.

OP, please don't obsess over this. You did a wonderful thing for your child, end of story. No one should ever fault you for that.

[Anonymous]

You should learn what the word "ruminate" means and how to use it properly. You sound like a doofus trying to use her big word of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a very gifted pianist as a child. In 6th grade my dad bought me a grand piano. I quit playing 6 months later. The piano was just lovely living room furniture. Come 9th grade when I find out I can take "independent study piano" as an elective. I decided I would play again. I had to play an hour a day at school, but I found myself practicing at home too. Eventually I was taking the independent study course and orchestra. I went on to minor in performance in piano. That grand piano is now in my house. I don't play it as much as I used to, but I love it and I do still sit down, especially around the holidays, and play.

I'm not saying you have to keep it, but I don't know that waiting a year or two is going to hurt you. Instruments don't lose value like other things. They aren't significantly updated from year to year. Its resale value today will likely be very close to the resale value in a couple years. I would just wait.

Depends on instrument. Violins for example need to be played. Take it to weavers to prepare for storage if so.

[Anonymous]

Just sell the instrument and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should learn what the word "ruminate" means and how to use it properly. You sound like a doofus trying to use her big word of the day.

Actually, OP used "ruminating" perfectly in the psychological sense -- if not the agricultural sense.

Go grammar police somewhere else, bucko. Try 4chan.