Jealous of a Social Media Obsession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the pp who's husband is on Facebook all the time, this would trouble me. You say if his fb friends werelocal you'd all be hanging out together. But, they are not local. Why doesn't he have friends here? Friends he can have over to the house, friends he can have a drink with or see a game, real live warm bodies who's company he enjoys spending time with. Right now, he's interacting with digits. Why is that enjoyable? I assume that you aren't going through life all business all the time where he has no opportunity to have real friendships?

I didn't say we don't have friends here. We do. I think the real issue is that DH just hasn't met many people in the DC area that he's connected with. We both came from towns that were much more Bohemian. He's a musician and a writer (both professionally and also as a hobby). The people he spends a lot of time interacting with on the internet are people he writes music with (because you can do that now, thanks to awesome technology) and people he's known for 20+ years. He's met a few people in this area that could become long term friends like that, but for the most part, our social circle in DC is people we know through one of our jobs or people who are associated with friends of our daughter. It's not like he never does anything other than Facebook. Certainly life isn't all business!

I think the internet has been great at helping people to find and stay connected to their tribe. You say "he's interacting with digits". I don't consider the interaction you and I are having right now to be a transactional digit conversation. I shared my experience. You shared your take on it. Now I'm clarifying. We're not friends, but certainly online interactions can be more meaningful than you seem to believe. Otherwise, what's the point of fora like this one in the first place?

[Anonymous]

I wish I could say. I was past this. DW and I talked, so her blogging is not a secret. She says she needs the space, and goes at it just as vigorously as she did when she thought it was hidden from me. A lot of the activity is her and others talking about favorite celebrities they want. That still makes me jealous. I feel like it's some kind of vicarious affair. I know she hasn't done anything beyond fantasy, but all that desire for someone else just hurts. Is it normal in a long relationship? Is there a way I can think of it as some kind of safe, healthy release on her part? I want to move beyond feeling like this.