Narcissistic MIL - No Show?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Never make plans depending on or centering around her.
Never hype her coming to your children since she tends to cancel last-minute.
If she's late, then she misses the first part of the event, period. Don't listen to complaints about starting without her.
If she's long-winded and only talks about herself, look vaguely about you, say "hm-mm" and escape as soon as you can.

I know a lot of tardy folk and have a narcissistic mother, so now I just forge ahead with my plans. Qui m'aime me suive.

This. Just accept that this is who your MIL is. Your kids will figure it out as they get older. You don't have to say anything to them. In the meantime, just minimize the impact her actions have on your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Never make plans depending on or centering around her.
Never hype her coming to your children since she tends to cancel last-minute.
If she's late, then she misses the first part of the event, period. Don't listen to complaints about starting without her.
If she's long-winded and only talks about herself, look vaguely about you, say "hm-mm" and escape as soon as you can.

I know a lot of tardy folk and have a narcissistic mother, so now I just forge ahead with my plans. Qui m'aime me suive.

This. Just accept that this is who your MIL is. Your kids will figure it out as they get older. You don't have to say anything to them. In the meantime, just minimize the impact her actions have on your kids.

Second this. My mother is just like your MIL. Sigh. So far she has only made it down to visit for my daughter's birth, which was a couple years ago, and even then I think she only came because everyone else expected her to come. At this point in my life, I've given up expecting her to come for anything and, frankly, find it less stressful when she isn't there. She barely came to the hospital, which meant my father didn't come either because he was tending to her, as a PP put it. Minimize the impact on your child(ren) as much as you can. Welcome to my world. Sorry you have to be in it.

[I had to Google translate "Qui m'aime me suive," but I'm with you, PP!]