Holidays with out of state families and ILs

[Anonymous]

Our families are on the West Coast and we only see them once a year. Unfortunately we spend every holiday alone. It's depressing! I feel sad that our son won't grow up with family around.

[Anonymous]

Don't be depressed, PP. Local family has challenges too. We have MIL and my parents and sibling plus family here. For the first half of my marriage, MIL manipulated the holidays so that we would end up only spending time with her and my family would get the shaft. I put my foot down and put a stop to it, but it was painful while it lasted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't travel for Thanksgiving, especially now that we have kids. We invite my ILs every year, if they want to come they can, if not, I've done my duty inviting them to a major holiday.

We used to alternate Christmases and Thanksgivings. Then one year we couldn't travel at Christmas for a reason I've now long forgotten and we invited my ILs since it was their "turn" for Christmas. It was such a horrifying experience on a holiday that I love and I refuse to ever do Christmas with them again. We've gone to my parents' house the last 2 years, and as much as I like that, I think we are going to do Christmas at home this year and let the kids have the first Christmas they'll be able to remember at home (haven't been at home since the first kid was an infant).

Well, don't leave us hangin'! What happened/

[Anonymous]

My solution to breaking this cycle is to have a baby that's due on Christmas...

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine lives out of state from her family and her husbands family close to where they live. In even years they spend Thanksgiving with her family and Christmas with his family. In odd years they do the opposite. Every Easter is spent with his family and every Fourth of July is with her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't travel for Thanksgiving, especially now that we have kids. We invite my ILs every year, if they want to come they can, if not, I've done my duty inviting them to a major holiday.

We used to alternate Christmases and Thanksgivings. Then one year we couldn't travel at Christmas for a reason I've now long forgotten and we invited my ILs since it was their "turn" for Christmas. It was such a horrifying experience on a holiday that I love and I refuse to ever do Christmas with them again. We've gone to my parents' house the last 2 years, and as much as I like that, I think we are going to do Christmas at home this year and let the kids have the first Christmas they'll be able to remember at home (haven't been at home since the first kid was an infant).

Well, don't leave us hangin'! What happened/

The high point of the visit was when my FIL counted his presents, counted MIL's presents and then complained all Christmas Day that MIL had one more present than he did, like a petulant child. Only, if he was a child, I would have gathered up all his presents, found a homeless shelter and made him take them in to donate. The rest of the holiday was much worse, but would identify me as I've told the stories to countless friends in the 5 years since it happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't travel for Thanksgiving, especially now that we have kids. We invite my ILs every year, if they want to come they can, if not, I've done my duty inviting them to a major holiday.

We used to alternate Christmases and Thanksgivings. Then one year we couldn't travel at Christmas for a reason I've now long forgotten and we invited my ILs since it was their "turn" for Christmas. It was such a horrifying experience on a holiday that I love and I refuse to ever do Christmas with them again. We've gone to my parents' house the last 2 years, and as much as I like that, I think we are going to do Christmas at home this year and let the kids have the first Christmas they'll be able to remember at home (haven't been at home since the first kid was an infant).

Well, don't leave us hangin'! What happened/

The high point of the visit was when my FIL counted his presents, counted MIL's presents and then complained all Christmas Day that MIL had one more present than he did, like a petulant child. Only, if he was a child, I would have gathered up all his presents, found a homeless shelter and made him take them in to donate. The rest of the holiday was much worse, but would identify me as I've told the stories to countless friends in the 5 years since it happened.

Hahahaha hahahaha. I didn't realize my dad was there! My dad estimated the dollar amount of his gifts and then harassed me for a more expensive gift since my husband had gotten something nicer. He then told everyone to please just keep the receipt since most gifts were junk and going back. And now you know why I haven't spent Christmas with my parents since that time (20003).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't travel for Thanksgiving, especially now that we have kids. We invite my ILs every year, if they want to come they can, if not, I've done my duty inviting them to a major holiday.

We used to alternate Christmases and Thanksgivings. Then one year we couldn't travel at Christmas for a reason I've now long forgotten and we invited my ILs since it was their "turn" for Christmas. It was such a horrifying experience on a holiday that I love and I refuse to ever do Christmas with them again. We've gone to my parents' house the last 2 years, and as much as I like that, I think we are going to do Christmas at home this year and let the kids have the first Christmas they'll be able to remember at home (haven't been at home since the first kid was an infant).

Well, don't leave us hangin'! What happened/

The high point of the visit was when my FIL counted his presents, counted MIL's presents and then complained all Christmas Day that MIL had one more present than he did, like a petulant child. Only, if he was a child, I would have gathered up all his presents, found a homeless shelter and made him take them in to donate. The rest of the holiday was much worse, but would identify me as I've told the stories to countless friends in the 5 years since it happened.

Sounds like my ILs. I got sick of their holding grudges, pouting, and silent treatment nonsense. Now I go to my sister's house for all holidays. Much nicer and cozier. No walking on eggshells there!