My sister offered to be my surrogate. Pls no negative posts. I need information, not moral sermon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The coolest story I ever heard: My friend's wife has 2 sisters; one of whom is infertile. So one sister donated her eggs, another sister carried the baby, and together they created a child for their infertile sister.

Is that complicated? I guess. On paper, anyway. But if you go into these things with your eyes and heart open -- just understanding that you're dealing with emotions that may sometimes be a little messy -- i think it can be one of the most magical and rewarding experiences you'll ever have.

(For what it's worth, I have some experience with these family arrangements. My brother donated sperm to my partner, giving us the most amazing child and a wonderful new bond we share with him and his wife. I don't care what the trolls say: It's our modern family. It works and I wouldn't have it any other way.)

Hi pp, 21:49 here. This is us too! Glad to hear its working out. Have y'all discussed subsequent children? How many kids do they have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The coolest story I ever heard: My friend's wife has 2 sisters; one of whom is infertile. So one sister donated her eggs, another sister carried the baby, and together they created a child for their infertile sister.

Is that complicated? I guess. On paper, anyway. But if you go into these things with your eyes and heart open -- just understanding that you're dealing with emotions that may sometimes be a little messy -- i think it can be one of the most magical and rewarding experiences you'll ever have.

(For what it's worth, I have some experience with these family arrangements. My brother donated sperm to my partner, giving us the most amazing child and a wonderful new bond we share with him and his wife. I don't care what the trolls say: It's our modern family. It works and I wouldn't have it any other way.)

These are two beautiful stories. Very good and kind people in both examples. Will you have more children?

[Anonymous]

Before you start with emotional connections, physical challenges (bfing post partum for colostrum, for example), and legal rights (who has the say about pre natal testing/decisions? for starters), please make sure your sister is cleared for this. How old is your sister? The last time she had a child was 7 years ago. Please let your doctor decide if she is a good candidate. You might be surprised about the criteria for surrogate candidates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The coolest story I ever heard: My friend's wife has 2 sisters; one of whom is infertile. So one sister donated her eggs, another sister carried the baby, and together they created a child for their infertile sister.

Is that complicated? I guess. On paper, anyway. But if you go into these things with your eyes and heart open -- just understanding that you're dealing with emotions that may sometimes be a little messy -- i think it can be one of the most magical and rewarding experiences you'll ever have.

(For what it's worth, I have some experience with these family arrangements. My brother donated sperm to my partner, giving us the most amazing child and a wonderful new bond we share with him and his wife. I don't care what the trolls say: It's our modern family. It works and I wouldn't have it any other way.)

Hi pp, 21:49 here. This is us too! Glad to hear its working out. Have y'all discussed subsequent children? How many kids do they have?

This IS beautiful. I have seen this arrangement among lesbian couples, brother of one donates sperm, and think it's win-win. Both are related to the baby, and the family of the non-carrier also had a grandchild that is genetically related to them.

And as for the sisters--I would have carried for my sisters in a heartbeat, but they're fertile turtles. In my case, it's my eggs not my ability to carry so I'm using donor eggs.

OP, are you sure donor eggs are not a better way for you than surrogacy? It's a lot cheaper. Not cheap, but a lot cheaper.

Oh, and ignore the trolls. They're just part of the price for getting information on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you use her eggs, yours, or a donor? With your history, assuming you're open to it, it sounds like you'd be a candidate to carry a pregnancy yourself using donor eggs. It sounds like egg quality is the most likely issue, not your body's ability to carry to term.

This. It sounds like the issue may be egg quality not ability to carry. Would your sister be a gestational carrier using your eggs or a true surrogate carrying a pregnancy from her eggs? If the former, you may run into the same issues you've had previously.

[Anonymous]

22:18 here:

I do think people have raised some valuable points here about what-ifs. You can drive yourself crazy with what-ifs, but they're still worth thinking through and talking over -- and getting in writing.

Also, I don't disagree that eggs may be the bigger issue, so your doctor (and their social worker team) is an invaluable stop in the journey.

And yes, we plan to have another child using (roughly) the same arrangement. I do think it's been important for my parents to feel a connection to the child, and it has tickled them beyond words to see my family in this child.

Shortly after the baby was born, my mother was just thinking out loud, and she said "Wouldn't it be cool if they could combine your partner's egg with your brother's sperm, and put the baby in you to carry?"

So that's what we did. I'm pregnant with #2 now, but it's still early. But I feel really optimistic about it -- in part because it just feels like the right decision made for the right reasons.

Whatever you decide, OP, I know you are going to feel really good about it. And I have a strong hunch it won't be the parade of horribles we've all trotted out for you to think about.