SIL steal friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to side,with OP. I'd be pretty annoyed if my inlaws befriended one if my friends. I've met lots of very nice people thru cousins, family in general. People I have connected with, etc, but out of respect wouldn't befriend. I am however not lacking in friendships. I suppose part of it is, I share private things with friends. Stuff I don't want family to know about. If suddenly family apmember and friend were cozying up, I'd be worried if some of my personal info was being publicized. Anyway I get it. It's annoying. But now that it's done, I think it's safe to say she's not your friend and isn't interested in being so. Move on.

You don't have very good friends if you are worried about them spilling your secrets to other people.

Plus, that may be a reasoning for why you don't WANT the befriending to happen....but not why it is okay to be MAD about it.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. It would have been nice for them to have included you, just like you included both of them when they met. Don't worry about it though. This woman obviously wasn't meant to be your good friend.

[Anonymous]

I get it too OP. My sister is now friends with one of my best friends. While I made every effort to include them, they never reciprocated and it hurts. It could be a personality thing because I've noticed they're somewhat similar.

But you learn to move on and make other friends.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone, I am beginning to get over it. I just had to put it out there and realize how silly I was to even feel this way. I had no one to turn to but my husband because I am ashamed to admit that I feel this way to my other friends. So I don't really have a voice of reason but my husband in this regard. I don't feel possessive at all over this friend, but I am not that type to befriend and invite friend of a friends out without considering how my friend will feel or inviting my friend out as well. Anyways, the world would be a better place if ppl had consideration for one another.

Another poster was right, I can behave a certain way around my friends but not my in-laws or tell my friends things and not my in-laws. I don't want to be judged for any reason and the problem with most in-laws is that they will judge. I realize now that I lost a friend bc she wasn't much of a friend to begin with and not because I lost her to a person I didn't think highly of or respected (which is another post for another day).

[Anonymous]

You should pass a note to her during class and tell her if she wants to be friends with Susie you are going to tell her mom about the time you saw her smoking in the bathroom.

Oh. Wait. You aren't in middle school anymore.

The fact that you wasted brain cells even thinking about this much less writing it down and complaining about it is mind boggling. You "lost" a friend because you are immature and petty and possibly a little bit nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should pass a note to her during class and tell her if she wants to be friends with Susie you are going to tell her mom about the time you saw her smoking in the bathroom.

Oh. Wait. You aren't in middle school anymore.

The fact that you wasted brain cells even thinking about this much less writing it down and complaining about it is mind boggling. You "lost" a friend because you are immature and petty and possibly a little bit nuts.

You must feel really good about yourself right about now. OP had a problem that she was seeking DCUM for help. Either contribute with a solution or don't contribute at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should pass a note to her during class and tell her if she wants to be friends with Susie you are going to tell her mom about the time you saw her smoking in the bathroom.

Oh. Wait. You aren't in middle school anymore.

The fact that you wasted brain cells even thinking about this much less writing it down and complaining about it is mind boggling. You "lost" a friend because you are immature and petty and possibly a little bit nuts.

Not the OP, but the mere fact that you wasted your brain cells to respond and degrade OP while thinking she is juvenile is equally petty and nuts. I agree with PP, either contribute with a solution or don't contribute at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should pass a note to her during class and tell her if she wants to be friends with Susie you are going to tell her mom about the time you saw her smoking in the bathroom.

Oh. Wait. You aren't in middle school anymore.

The fact that you wasted brain cells even thinking about this much less writing it down and complaining about it is mind boggling. You "lost" a friend because you are immature and petty and possibly a little bit nuts.

Not the OP, but the mere fact that you wasted your brain cells to respond and degrade OP while thinking she is juvenile is equally petty and nuts. I agree with PP, either contribute with a solution or don't contribute at all.

Yes. Because DCUM is all about sunshine and rainbows and making each other feel good. You ladies must be new.

Pointing out the ridiculousness of the OPs stance is legitimate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone, I am beginning to get over it. I just had to put it out there and realize how silly I was to even feel this way. I had no one to turn to but my husband because I am ashamed to admit that I feel this way to my other friends. So I don't really have a voice of reason but my husband in this regard. I don't feel possessive at all over this friend, but I am not that type to befriend and invite friend of a friends out without considering how my friend will feel or inviting my friend out as well. Anyways, the world would be a better place if ppl had consideration for one another.

Another poster was right, I can behave a certain way around my friends but not my in-laws or tell my friends things and not my in-laws. I don't want to be judged for any reason and the problem with most in-laws is that they will judge. I realize now that I lost a friend bc she wasn't much of a friend to begin with and not because I lost her to a person I didn't think highly of or respected (which is another post for another day).

You have every right to feel excluded by both of them. And the fact that the friend is also the godmother makes it more awkward. Your lazy SIL should go seek her own friendships instead of competing for yours.

I would move on and make new friends. Like a PP said, she probably wasn't a good friend anyway--she sounds desperate.