OK, so how can you identify a school's culture, values?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the quality of the teachers/administrators is huge...the impact they have on the children as well as how they interact with parents.

Agreed, but how do you assess this from the outside?

[Anonymous]

This sounds shallow but it will probably hlep the most in pin pointing what others famil;es are like: watch the carpool one day. Look at the type of cars driven, look who is driving carpool (nanny, mom, van service, embassy limo) see if many kids get in each car or just one child per car. Look at the car parked in the lot in the morning or during assembly/chapel/parenst day. Pay attention to what kids are wearing (the younger ones who's parents still primarily dress them). One school we looked at had PKers and Kers in rumpled and raggedy clothes, mostly faded sweats, it told me a lot about the values of the school and the parents. Some people on this sight bemoan girls in pretty dresses and bows - if that bothers you be aware of what school have lots of that "type". Also, look at how kids act in the halls: rambunctious and crazy, snotty and too cool, calm and mannerly, harrried, etc... Yes, its all appearance things, shallow things, but those types of observations will tell you a lot about the culture and values of a school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds shallow but it will probably hlep the most in pin pointing what others famil;es are like: watch the carpool one day. Look at the type of cars driven, look who is driving carpool (nanny, mom, van service, embassy limo) see if many kids get in each car or just one child per car. Look at the car parked in the lot in the morning or during assembly/chapel/parenst day. Pay attention to what kids are wearing (the younger ones who's parents still primarily dress them). One school we looked at had PKers and Kers in rumpled and raggedy clothes, mostly faded sweats, it told me a lot about the values of the school and the parents. Some people on this sight bemoan girls in pretty dresses and bows - if that bothers you be aware of what school have lots of that "type". Also, look at how kids act in the halls: rambunctious and crazy, snotty and too cool, calm and mannerly, harrried, etc... Yes, its all appearance things, shallow things, but those types of observations will tell you a lot about the culture and values of a school.

It´s good detective work, or stalking. However you call it, it does help to go through this exercise. There truly is, for instance, a standard Beauvoir look for both the kids and the parents, than say, those at Lowell-GDS-Capitol Hill Day School.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guss you have to ask a lot of probing questions abotu how schools will handle various situations.

The problem is no one wants to ask these questions in the application process, right? Because asking too many questions will not get your chlid admitted?

abuse, harrassment, bullying, stalking, unwanted sexual overatures[touching] male-female-female, pregnancy, drugs, alcohol

Huge instance of bullying now by group of older to younger girls in my DD's high school.

please name the school.....

[Anonymous]

A school's culture is as instrumental in your childs development as the academic lessons learned in the classroom. The culture of the school acts as the "hidden curriculum" and it is shaped primarily by the adults in the building - how they treat and speak to one another and children, how they communicate, how they nurture relationships, how they build community, how they maintain clear expectations, what is acknowledged, what is displayed (much of what John mentioned earlier) etc... Based on a school's core values and beliefs, the culture of a school is the heartbeat of what is allowed, expected and tolerated. Any school that allows it's families and children to shape its culture has lost sight of it's own true vision and mission. The adults in any school building act as role-models and vessels to deliver the message of the school...how are we at this school? what do we believe? how do we act? how do we speak? what does it mean to go here? This may sound cultish, but this is how true identity develops.

The best test of school culture is simply walking around and absorbing the "feeling" you get as a guest. Are you greeted? Are people rude/kind? Do the adults smile? Do you feel welcome? Is the mission of the school alive and breathing? Can you see it? Feel it?

You will definitely get the academics at all the private schools...but what else will your child get? What kind of a person will your child be encouraged to become? What makes each of these schools stand out other than academics? Character education? Social/emotional learning? Service-learning? I want my child to know his letters and numbers, but more importantly, I want him to learn how to work with others, show compassion, take risks, communicate, develop strong relationships. I am looking for a school that explicitly incorporates the social curriculum into it's program. Lets face it, employers these days are looking for employees who are strong leaders, good communicators, and excellent team players...that stuff has to be taught from a very young age...it's who you are and who you become as a person. Academic skills can be taught in a one week training. Compassion takes years to nurture.

Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A school's culture is as instrumental in your childs development as the academic lessons learned in the classroom. The culture of the school acts as the "hidden curriculum" and it is shaped primarily by the adults in the building - how they treat and speak to one another and children, how they communicate, how they nurture relationships, how they build community, how they maintain clear expectations, what is acknowledged, what is displayed (much of what John mentioned earlier) etc... Based on a school's core values and beliefs, the culture of a school is the heartbeat of what is allowed, expected and tolerated. Any school that allows it's families and children to shape its culture has lost sight of it's own true vision and mission. The adults in any school building act as role-models and vessels to deliver the message of the school...how are we at this school? what do we believe? how do we act? how do we speak? what does it mean to go here? This may sound cultish, but this is how true identity develops.

The best test of school culture is simply walking around and absorbing the "feeling" you get as a guest. Are you greeted? Are people rude/kind? Do the adults smile? Do you feel welcome? Is the mission of the school alive and breathing? Can you see it? Feel it?

You will definitely get the academics at all the private schools...but what else will your child get? What kind of a person will your child be encouraged to become? What makes each of these schools stand out other than academics? Character education? Social/emotional learning? Service-learning? I want my child to know his letters and numbers, but more importantly, I want him to learn how to work with others, show compassion, take risks, communicate, develop strong relationships. I am looking for a school that explicitly incorporates the social curriculum into it's program. Lets face it, employers these days are looking for employees who are strong leaders, good communicators, and excellent team players...that stuff has to be taught from a very young age...it's who you are and who you become as a person. Academic skills can be taught in a one week training. Compassion takes years to nurture.

Any thoughts?

My thought is that you are the head of a private school.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP, and I agree with a lot of what has been said.

13:49 is evidently living in my head, too.

Here's the problem for me though, of the 8 schools I toured extensively, each and every one of them has signs on the wall about "Kindness and Respect;" each has a service program with obligatory photos somewhere of the kids on service days; all eight have pleasant, smiling adults (with one exception!); a globally aware curriculum; and so on.

What I'd love to know and fear I never will is, what ACTUALLY happens when KidA is a jerk on the playground day after day to KidB? I know for a fact that the answer in one of these "Kindness, Respect, Responsibility" schools with smiling teachers is ... not too much!

If we are fortunate enough to be granted admission to one or more schools, we'll have to go with out gut. The walk around and absorb technique is useful, I agree.

[Anonymous]

A school with a strong positive culture would rally to handle a bullying situation ...to the point where the kids would begin to keep each other accountable and remind one another of the values etc... A strong culture does not allow a bully to be the cool kid. A cool kid would be the one to show integrity and seek assistance. This moral fortitude is hard to find in children...but it speaks to the program at the school, the clarity of expectations, and the adult rigor regarding behavior.

I would present scenarios during the open houses you go to such as the one you describe about the playground bully, and ask how the adults/children generally handle such a situation. A response may not reflect reality...but would at least give you an indication as to whether there is a well-thought out protocol or whether the person answering is simply trying to give a "good answer". I have also been known to accost parents in the parking lot...to ask general questions about their experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP, and I agree with a lot of what has been said.

13:49 is evidently living in my head, too.

Here's the problem for me though, of the 8 schools I toured extensively, each and every one of them has signs on the wall about "Kindness and Respect;" each has a service program with obligatory photos somewhere of the kids on service days; all eight have pleasant, smiling adults (with one exception!); a globally aware curriculum; and so on.

What I'd love to know and fear I never will is, what ACTUALLY happens when KidA is a jerk on the playground day after day to KidB? I know for a fact that the answer in one of these "Kindness, Respect, Responsibility" schools with smiling teachers is ... not too much!

If we are fortunate enough to be granted admission to one or more schools, we'll have to go with out gut. The walk around and absorb technique is useful, I agree.

I'm just gonna say it and will get flamed but i don't care. Generally speaking, this will be handled better at the schools perceived to be more conservative - Beauvoir, St. Patrick's, NPS, Potomac.

[Anonymous]

My child's private (Catholic) school has an explicit anti-bullying policy. With lessons for each grade level on what is bullying, what the conseuqences are. And, the princiapl and teachers follow through. Both typical girl bullying (more social) and boy bullying (physical) is addressed

Ask if schools have something like that.

If they say "Oh, that doesn't happen here" -- they are in denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds shallow but it will probably hlep the most in pin pointing what others famil;es are like: watch the carpool one day. Look at the type of cars driven, look who is driving carpool (nanny, mom, van service, embassy limo) see if many kids get in each car or just one child per car. Look at the car parked in the lot in the morning or during assembly/chapel/parenst day. Pay attention to what kids are wearing (the younger ones who's parents still primarily dress them). One school we looked at had PKers and Kers in rumpled and raggedy clothes, mostly faded sweats, it told me a lot about the values of the school and the parents. Some people on this sight bemoan girls in pretty dresses and bows - if that bothers you be aware of what school have lots of that "type". Also, look at how kids act in the halls: rambunctious and crazy, snotty and too cool, calm and mannerly, harrried, etc... Yes, its all appearance things, shallow things, but those types of observations will tell you a lot about the culture and values of a school.

It´s good detective work, or stalking. However you call it, it does help to go through this exercise. There truly is, for instance, a standard Beauvoir look for both the kids and the parents, than say, those at Lowell-GDS-Capitol Hill Day School.

I don't get how this is supposed to tell me much about the values of the school or its people. If many of the girls wear pretty dresses instead of my own child's usual hand-me-downs, that tells me exactly *what* about their character? If the cars are expensive (or inexpensive), what does that tell me? Seems like that won't help me on character. Some meanies are rich, and others are poor. Some kind people are poor, and others are rich. Maybe I am missing your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds shallow but it will probably hlep the most in pin pointing what others famil;es are like: watch the carpool one day. Look at the type of cars driven, look who is driving carpool (nanny, mom, van service, embassy limo) see if many kids get in each car or just one child per car. Look at the car parked in the lot in the morning or during assembly/chapel/parenst day. Pay attention to what kids are wearing (the younger ones who's parents still primarily dress them). One school we looked at had PKers and Kers in rumpled and raggedy clothes, mostly faded sweats, it told me a lot about the values of the school and the parents. Some people on this sight bemoan girls in pretty dresses and bows - if that bothers you be aware of what school have lots of that "type". Also, look at how kids act in the halls: rambunctious and crazy, snotty and too cool, calm and mannerly, harrried, etc... Yes, its all appearance things, shallow things, but those types of observations will tell you a lot about the culture and values of a school.

It´s good detective work, or stalking. However you call it, it does help to go through this exercise. There truly is, for instance, a standard Beauvoir look for both the kids and the parents, than say, those at Lowell-GDS-Capitol Hill Day School.

I don't get how this is supposed to tell me much about the values of the school or its people. If many of the girls wear pretty dresses instead of my own child's usual hand-me-downs, that tells me exactly *what* about their character? If the cars are expensive (or inexpensive), what does that tell me? Seems like that won't help me on character. Some meanies are rich, and others are poor. Some kind people are poor, and others are rich. Maybe I am missing your point.

Totally agree. We drive an old American car, have no nanny, are of modest means, but DD is always cutely dressed in dresses and (gasp!) hair bows. What if anything does all this tell you about our morals, values, etc.? Absolutely nothing.

[Anonymous]

At our private school, we have an anti-bullying policy that is well publicized and adhered to by the principal, teachers, administrators and kids. They have specific lessons about what bullying is, that it is not OK, and what to do if they see it happening in all grades. In middle school the 6th, 7th, and 8th graders are assigned to class that they stay in with the same teacher throughout middle school. It gives them one adult who sees them, talks with them, interacts with them for three full years. It also mixes the grades a little bit with the idea that the older kids keep an eye out for the younger ones since they are in this class together -- doesn't allow for the artificial barrier of age to separate them.

Every year there is a value theme. Each grade participates in a service project every year. There are food drives and spare change drives. Parents are expected to volunteer a certain number of hours per year and so are VERY involved with their children's education.

Our prinicipal, vice principal, and guidance counselor are outdoors every day during morning carpool -- good weather and bad -- greeting the children by name, directing traffic, looking out for the kids, etc.

It is fairly easy to tell the culture of the school if you look at the actions and activities of the school and not just what the administration says.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a great place.

[Anonymous]

My theory has always been that it depends on how much the school can afford to lose the family of the bully. Whatever their stated policies may be.