help with c-section news

[Anonymous]

Don't worry. I've had 3 c-sections -- two that were not planned. It will not be a cold birth. The nurses and staff in the operating room have always been great. You can see the baby as soon as they pull him/her out of you. They place the baby station to your left or right so you can keep an eye on them as they clean the baby off, weigh him, put his hat on, and wrap him in blankets. Then they will bring the baby over to you. While you cannot hold the baby at this time, you can snuggle for a minute (while the nurse holds the baby up to you) and get your picture taken with the baby. I was always amazed at how my babies stopped crying as soon as they heard my voice. Then they will give the baby to dad to hold. He can keep holding the baby from then on (except for the short trip to recovery). As long as there are no complications, in recovery they'll let you hold the baby once you can start moving the toes on both feet. You can also start nursing at that time.

The one bonus of a c-section is that your baby will have a perfectly shaped head!

For me the day after the c-section was the worst recovery wise -- once you get through that, it is all downhill. The key is to get up and moving around as soon as you can. I took tons of laps around the maternity ward at Fairfax.

[Anonymous]

As someone who had an excruciating "birth experience" (the phrase alone makes me livid) the first time around, I'll agree what a lot of PPs have said: don't let this development depress you. I'm not dismissing your feelings, although I never wanted a med-free birth so I can't fully appreciate where you're at. But I can tell you that there are so many worse scenarios - particularly those that involve hours of horrific labor and an unplanned C. Mine was not even that bad, but even with a "regular" birth (of a huge baby) my physical recovery took forever and I was way too miserable to appreciate any part of the first few weeks, much less the first few hours. The birth was not warm and fuzzy - it was horrific and I kept threatening to jump out of the window if someone couldn't get the baby out now! And I was completely serious. But as much as I hated that "experience" I'm doing it all over again, knowing it will probably be just as bad... because the only thing that matters about the birth is the healthy baby that comes to you in the end. However that happens, it so vastly outweighs any issues surrounding the method of delivery that it will blow your mind. Congrats and good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you ladies so much. This thread has been enormously helpful ... virtual hugs to all. I'm feeling much better about it today. I know we are making the right decision, and I'm really glad to hear that the experience won't be as cold and clinical as I had anticipated. It still makes me hurt to know I won't get to hold him and cuddle him right away but my DH will be holding him at all possible times so that's just as good (well almost ... i still want to hold my son). But that is just a blip. He will still be my sweet boy.

Thanks esp. to the poster who provided the list of things to ask my doctors about ... definitely writing those down and keeping them stored in a safe place!

Oh and just to clarify, I did not plan for a med-free birth and I didn't have a birth "plan," specifically. I wanted two things ... a healthy baby and a vaginal delivery. Healthy baby obviously far outweighing any desire for a VD...so c-section it is. Because the issues that prompted this may not be present next time, I am still a VBAC candidate so maybe we can do it again in the future!

Thanks again to all. :mwah:

[Anonymous]

My first delivery was vaginal and resulted in horrible tearing, a big episiotomy and a MRSA staph infection down there. I can't even begin to describe how awful the pain was and how long the recovery was. My second delivery was a scheduled c-section. The doc pulled the baby out and immediately showed him to me, they quickly cleaned him up and brought him right over to me (my husband held him right on my arm/chest). Each birth experience -- whether vaginal or c-section -- will be special and memorable in its own way. Try to focus on the positive -- your baby will be here soon

Need more positives?
1. You won't have any pain down there (or stretching or problems with incontinence).
2. You'll get some extra attention from the nurses in the hospital (they pretty much leave the vag deliveries on their own in the hospital and cater to the c-section mommies)
3. You can use the c-section as an excuse for pretty much anything for at least 2 months after delivery (no honey, I can't do the laundry -- I had a c-section

Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can relate. I wanted a natural birth but was induced at 42 weeks and after 30 hours of labor had to have a C-section. I was tremendously disappointed. You are right that a second C is more likely than VBAC (I'm due in February this time). The wish to have experienced a real childbirth doesn't leave you although you know you protected your child. It still makes me sad occasionally.

[Anonymous]

My sister-in-law is a uro-genital surgeon who started out as an OB. When I was waffling about whether to choose a C-section because of some health problems, her response was "Oh my goodness, why would you NOT choose a C-section?!?!??!!"

Basically, she spends all her time repairing the things that go wrong with vaginal births -- the massive tearing, incontinence, etc. that some posters have mentioned. Granted, I'm sure her views are colored by the fact that she only encounters the problems and not the healthy vaginal deliveries.... But I must say, hearing her experience with all those problems made me feel a lot better about my C-section!

[Anonymous]

PP- that's interesting as my best friend is a urogynecologist and had two vaginal deliveries (one during residency and one during her fellowship training)!

You can still develop incontinence and pelvic floor weakness just from being pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who had an excruciating "birth experience" (the phrase alone makes me livid) the first time around, I'll agree what a lot of PPs have said: don't let this development depress you. I'm not dismissing your feelings, although I never wanted a med-free birth so I can't fully appreciate where you're at. But I can tell you that there are so many worse scenarios - particularly those that involve hours of horrific labor and an unplanned C. Mine was not even that bad, but even with a "regular" birth (of a huge baby) my physical recovery took forever and I was way too miserable to appreciate any part of the first few weeks, much less the first few hours. The birth was not warm and fuzzy - it was horrific and I kept threatening to jump out of the window if someone couldn't get the baby out now! And I was completely serious. But as much as I hated that "experience" I'm doing it all over again, knowing it will probably be just as bad... because the only thing that matters about the birth is the healthy baby that comes to you in the end. However that happens, it so vastly outweighs any issues surrounding the method of delivery that it will blow your mind. Congrats and good luck!

I also had a horrible "birth experience" (and I also still loathe that term to this day), and am wondering why you plan to put yourself through another vaginal delivery. Why not have a scheduled C? That's what I plan to do. I don't think I would survive another "birth experience" like my first one...

[Anonymous]

There is nothing magical about a vaginal birth over a C-section, despite what some natural birth proponents might say. What is magical is bringing a beautiful healthy baby into the world. So sorry about your disappointment, but try to focus on the positive--your baby can be delivered without the risks your doctor has identified.

[Anonymous]

I had to have a c-section because my baby was breech. I was on hospital bedrest for the 5 days prior to his birth because my water broke early. While I was in the hospital I found out that I was going to have to have a c-section. I was disappointed, but you really can't focus on that too much - just trust that your OB is suggesting this because it's for the best for you and your baby. I really don't feel like I missed out anything - especially since as I was being wheeled to the OR I heard a woman in labor screaming very loudly saying "Oh my God, I can't do this anymore!".

A C-section is not ideal, but as my doctor told me, your recovery with a good c-section is better than a bad vaginal birth. There are pros and cons to each.

[Anonymous]

I also had to have a c-section due to a breech baby. I was SOOO disappointed when I first found out. My husband and I had been getting excited about wondering when the labor pains would start, and how we would handle it. Then I got the c-section news and not only did it seem anti-climatic, I sort of felt like a failure because in the birth classes I took, there was a lot of talk about how terrible it is that so many women get c-sections these days. And I thought somehow I wouldn't be able to nurse, or pick up the baby.

But when it was all done, I couldn't have cared less. All I could think about was how beautiful my daughter was. The important thing was that the baby arrived safely. I nursed right away, and the c-section did not prevent me from picking the baby up and carrying her around. In the end I was glad I had the c-section, it was so easy. Done in 20 minutes. The recovery wasn't too bad. I did hate the 5 day hospital stay, but once I was home I was over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one bonus of a c-section is that your baby will have a perfectly shaped head!

Well, maybe! Our daughter was breech and her head was pushing against my diaphragm. She didn't have a cone-head like vaginal birth babies, but her head was a little elongated because of her position. We jokingly called her "alien baby" because her head shape reminded us of Alien. It's normal now, but was definitely not perfectly shaped at c-section time and for a week or two after!

[Anonymous]

All of these responses have been great so I'll try to add something instead of repeating

I've had three c-sections and they have all been slightly different experiences. None of them clinical and all of them magical because in the end I had a healthy baby.

You are doing the right thing: get your list of questions together. Talk to your doctor and then talk to your nurses when you check in. Make sure they know you and your husband want to see your son as soon as he is out. Your husband may still be allowed to cut the cord if he is up for it (mine did) so ask if that is possible. I requested that only one of my arms be secured so that I could touch the baby while daddy held him/her. It is true you may be numb from the chest down but I have nursed as soon as I was in the recovery room, long before I could move my toes. And the sweetest part was: daddy had to hold the baby and get the baby to latch on. Yes, it was a completely strange experience watching my husband manipulate my breast into the baby's mouth while I couldn't feel a thing. But, my husband got a first hand view of how difficult it can be as well as how beautiful it all is.

So the biggest lesson is: you have three weeks to think about what is important to you, ask what you can do to make the birth special to you and then keep asking.

As you have found out things don't go as planned but you and your husband are going to be great parents because you are already learning how to roll with the punches and keep the end goal in mind.

Congratulations on your baby!!