Grumpy/sensitive/touchy baby and toddlers who became well-adjusted older kids?

[Anonymous]

Yep!

[Anonymous]

Yes , my dd was very difficult as a baby - reflux, milk protein intolerance, and colic (after the medical problems were managed, she was just as irritable as before). She used to tantrum and cry a lot in her 2s - never slept through the night, never slept in the crib, and on and on and in. And now, is a bright happy sweet 5 yr old who is so much better at controlling her emotions. I really feel like I'm in the sweet spot with her. So, it can happen - and I wish for you a child like mine!

[Anonymous]

OP here, sorry to post and run! Thank you SO much for the stories and advice and commiseration, it is very helpful and I'm going to bookmark this thread to come back and re-read these "happy ending" stories when I need a boost. It's really helpful to hear that it can be this way for years and then shift. Here's hoping...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I could have written your exact post. I completely understand. I feel like I walk on eggshells every day.

I apologize for his behavior to family and strangers. I, too, have excuses lined up: His nap was cut short, "He isn't usually like this," he didn't get enough sleep last night, he gets overwhelmed easily, etc. Everyone comments on how serious/solemn he is....I never really know what to say. Mine, too, can be such a joy and so charming...but very few people ever really see this.

Out of curiosity, are you a SAHM? A few people have suggested I put my DS in a part-time mother's day out or early pre-school program...not to just give myself a break, but to see if it somehow helps with his behavior (the change of environment, caretakers, etc.) Have you thought about something like that?

I've wondered about this! I'm mostly SAHM; I work part time from home and on those afternoons he's with his dad or our babysitter and her daughter who is his same age. His disposition seems to be the same for all three of us. We have seriously considered whether a part-time early preschool type situation would be good for him. It's hard to say. We'll probably give it a try sometime in the next year.

[Anonymous]

My DD is exactly the same way. Please read "Raising your Spirited Child". When I read it, I felt completely validated and hopeful in a way I had never felt before. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Well I WOH and DD is the same. Newly 4 and is better than she used to be, but still there are days where I am frustrated as hell. Didn't STTN until almost 2, used to have daily tantrums, cried all the time, etc. Some days, I think she's turned a new leaf. At 3,.5, she was a DARLING. Then, we moved and she had to make new friends and she went back to her crabby self again. She's been better lately, although yesterday was not a good day. That said, we often go days in between an episode now. I always thought I'd have 3 kids, but I can't imagine going through this with two more kids now.

The good thing is she tends to do very well in daycare/school settings. She loves learning and being around other kids. I've noticed that she excels with teachers with stronger personalities. In one classroom, she loved getting to school early so that she could help her teacher set up the classroom in the morning. She's definitely far more happy than she is sad, like 85/15 now vs 25/75 as a baby. She prefers to do everything for herself and it helps that she is able to do so much now. It's really a blessing. We travel often and she is quick to grab a carry-on bag and roll it to the next terminal or self-entertain so that I can sleep longer in the morning.

So you're not alone, OP, and it does get better.

[Anonymous]

Removing dairy and gluten was the answer for us. All tantrums went away. Bedtime became easier. Mood has changed to the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I WOH and DD is the same. Newly 4 and is better than she used to be, but still there are days where I am frustrated as hell. Didn't STTN until almost 2, used to have daily tantrums, cried all the time, etc. Some days, I think she's turned a new leaf. At 3,.5, she was a DARLING. Then, we moved and she had to make new friends and she went back to her crabby self again. She's been better lately, although yesterday was not a good day. That said, we often go days in between an episode now. I always thought I'd have 3 kids, but I can't imagine going through this with two more kids now.

The good thing is she tends to do very well in daycare/school settings. She loves learning and being around other kids. I've noticed that she excels with teachers with stronger personalities. In one classroom, she loved getting to school early so that she could help her teacher set up the classroom in the morning. She's definitely far more happy than she is sad, like 85/15 now vs 25/75 as a baby. She prefers to do everything for herself and it helps that she is able to do so much now. It's really a blessing. We travel often and she is quick to grab a carry-on bag and roll it to the next terminal or self-entertain so that I can sleep longer in the morning.

So you're not alone, OP, and it does get better.

We were hoping for two, and now I can't imagine going through it even one more time. I know there's a chance that the second child would be much easier, but there's also the possibility of having two like this and I just don't think I have the emotional reserves or fortitude to parent two under these circumstances as well as I'd like to. It's definitely affected our family planning, or at a minimum made us pretty apprehensive to forge ahead with our original plan. It's really encouraging that so many are saying it became easier around age 4 or so. We may just have a big gap between siblings, as much as that would not have been my first choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is exactly the same way. Please read "Raising your Spirited Child". When I read it, I felt completely validated and hopeful in a way I had never felt before. Good luck!

I will check it out, thanks! I've also wondered about the "highly sensitive child" books that I've seen mentioned - I'm not sure if our situation is what that author means by "highly sensitive".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Removing dairy and gluten was the answer for us. All tantrums went away. Bedtime became easier. Mood has changed to the better.

We removed dairy very early on in case it was contributing to reflux, and haven't reintroduced it, but gluten I had not considered. Logistics of gluten-free intimidate me, but perhaps we should consider trying it.