Teen Depression

[Anonymous]

I listened to my DD cry every.single.night. for a year. Really, really hard. I watch her like a hawk. She seems better now. Family history of depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I listened to my DD cry every.single.night. for a year. Really, really hard. I watch her like a hawk. She seems better now. Family history of depression.

Heartbreaking. Any therapy? Medication?

[Anonymous]

I really hate this idea that something must be wrong in a family if a child has depression. Most kids with depression come from loving, stable homes. My DC had serious depression. I've had serious depression. There's obviously something genetic going on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hate this idea that something must be wrong in a family if a child has depression. Most kids with depression come from loving, stable homes. My DC had serious depression. I've had serious depression. There's obviously something genetic going on here.

But what, if anything, were triggers or stressors? Or did it just come out of no where (besides genetics)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate this idea that something must be wrong in a family if a child has depression. Most kids with depression come from loving, stable homes. My DC had serious depression. I've had serious depression. There's obviously something genetic going on here.

But what, if anything, were triggers or stressors? Or did it just come out of no where (besides genetics)?

Why do you ask? Are you trying to establish that this won't happen to your DC? Looking for someone to blame?

This is one thing about depression -- it affects cognition. It makes you think problems are overwhelming and hopeless. This cognitive effect is one sign of depression. Depression will attach to something. So you start thinking your job is horrible and hopeless. Is that the "trigger" for your depression, or is that your depression talking? What is cause and effect? Or you are rejected by a guy at school and you can't get over it. Is the rejection the trigger or are you fixated and unable to get over it because of the cognitive effects of depression?

[Anonymous]

Parent of a severely depressed teen here- winters are ROUGH. February is the worst, and risk-seeking behavior amps up around this time. DD is old enough to be clued into the pattern, but it still happens.

Therapy and mediation help, but haven't cured it. We've tried medication changes, and I feel confident our therapists are competent (we've seen several).

For us, its family history of blood relatives with depression that I think tips the scales.

[Anonymous]

How do you spot depression in a teenaged girl? My DD is a terribly moody thing, with an occasional crying fit, but it's fairly rare. I do have a family history of depression, so I'm worried, but I don't want to label her when maybe it's just teenage girl stuff. She's quite cheerful and happy much of the time, but suddenly will turn on a dime when something doesn't go her way (she didn't like the chicken last night, so sulked through dinner, then perked up and played with the dog after dinner). Other moms have told similar tales about their teenaged daughters, but others say theirs are not as moody as mine. What's the red flag? She has lots of friends, does well in school, we do lots of things together as a family, but have had some financial stress due to DH getting laid off recently (he found a job, thank God). I'd say our family has a normal amount of stress, but what worries me is the family history of depression. I've told DD about it, and asked her to tell me if anything's wrong, but there's never much of anything, and I don't see warning signs of drug/alcohol use, all of her friends are nice kids. Am I just a too anxious mom? Not worried, just wary and watching.

[Anonymous]

19:24 some of the things you describe I think are more typical teen stuff - there is a trigger when she is upset - she is not getting her way/ having a bad day, etc. Its when it becomes pervasive; it affects all days - the ability to enjoy life, to function. For my DD there were also risk-seeking things that escalated beyond "normal" teen experimentation.

I think its good to be aware but in your case, it sounds like the typical teen moodiness to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you spot depression in a teenaged girl? My DD is a terribly moody thing, with an occasional crying fit, but it's fairly rare. I do have a family history of depression, so I'm worried, but I don't want to label her when maybe it's just teenage girl stuff. She's quite cheerful and happy much of the time, but suddenly will turn on a dime when something doesn't go her way (she didn't like the chicken last night, so sulked through dinner, then perked up and played with the dog after dinner). Other moms have told similar tales about their teenaged daughters, but others say theirs are not as moody as mine. What's the red flag? She has lots of friends, does well in school, we do lots of things together as a family, but have had some financial stress due to DH getting laid off recently (he found a job, thank God). I'd say our family has a normal amount of stress, but what worries me is the family history of depression. I've told DD about it, and asked her to tell me if anything's wrong, but there's never much of anything, and I don't see warning signs of drug/alcohol use, all of her friends are nice kids. Am I just a too anxious mom? Not worried, just wary and watching.

I also think it sounds quite normal. I had depression as a teen, and I just wasn't really there ... not motivated, wound't have shown signs of happiness - just didn't really feel anything. The fact that she's cheerful and happy much of the time is really positive and would make me not worry too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, depression is like a lot of other medical illnesses -- one is predisposed genetically. Stress and anxiety may trigger depression, or not. But teens who are depressed may simply come from families at increased risk for depression.

Environmental conditions are equal to genetics (aka - the parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hate this idea that something must be wrong in a family if a child has depression. Most kids with depression come from loving, stable homes. My DC had serious depression. I've had serious depression. There's obviously something genetic going on here.

There are many different causes for illness. It is very likely that there are many complex variables involved in depression. Social, psychological and environmental stressors definitely play a role in depression, as do genetics. To what degree each plays a role seems to vary by individual.

[Anonymous]

My teen got depressed and we were unaware until his grades started to drop. I also think ADHD kids are more likely to be affected by depression (according to a therapist). I think it was a combination of genetics and stress from school, but it did seem to come from no where.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that the clinical depression cases I know of are not the "so stressed" high achieving high schoolers.

Slightly off topic from OP's original question, but FWIW I was one of those "so stressed" kids who shouldered massive parental expectations in elementary, middle and high school.

I staved off depression in those years by focusing on the task at hand: achieving, achieving, achieving.

I kept myself too busy and too focused to feel much of anything. It was numbing in its own way. In between the numbness, I remember feeling terrified of failing. As if it were life or death. So I got myself busy working again on achieving to distract from the feelings.

In the end, it got me out of my parents' house and into the blue-ribbon college of our choice. But once I was away at college, I relaxed a bunch and the depression (and anxiety) really started to emerge. They've come and gone in many different cycles over the decades. Only now am I getting to the root causes and finding peace with the feelings.

[Anonymous]

12:42 or the poster above, you are very intuitive to have tracked your son's cyclical swings because this really can be a physical and psychological cycle. Our daughter who will always have inner stress says that winter is the hardest time for her, and at times the holidays. Giving you son a day off here and there with a clear explanation of the need for it to keep a balance - not just to play hookey is a very positive approach. Why -- because it starts to help him develop an inner barometer or sensor of when he may need to be able to do so as he gets out on his own.

It is important to always keep any disability or chronic disease "separate" from the personhood of the individual. And thankfully times are starting to change in health care knowledge and insurance coverage of mental health conditions balanced against physical health. Also as a teen matures or grows older to start a conversation on what kinds of supports "the teen" might think he or she needs in the pursuit of higher education. This can be anything from whether to start or just stay more local for college; to have a part-time, full-time or perhaps spread out year-round program; to stay with a therapist one knows or to choose a school with such help in nearby community; to assess need for emergency care or not.
Depression need not define the person nor limit one's options, BUT it may always be a consideration in life's choices.

[Anonymous]

Have a teenage daughter (now 17) who was sexually assaulted at 15. Diagnosed with PTSD.
Therapy and meds, but depression is overwhelming.
Some days better than others. Some days are so awful it's unimaginable.