Does your boyfriend spend the night when your kids are home?

[Anonymous]

My DH became a dad at 18. We didn't date / marry until he was 21 / 25; during the time we NEVER had overnights in the presence of DS who spent over half his time with dad- both of us felt it would have been inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

What, Mama can't get laid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What, Mama can't get laid?

Yeah, when kid is with his dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends how long they've been together. SIL has been with her fiance since her son was 3. He's now 10. They took things slow in the beginning, introduced him to her son, did things together so they got to know each other, and by the time her son was about 6-7, he was spending the night. They got engaged when he was 8, but some life circumstances have put their wedding on hold until next year.

7 years, and they can't pull the trigger and get married? Sounds like a loser.

Actually it was my SIL who wanted to take things very slowly after being in an abusive relationship with her son's father. Smart on her part. Then he suffered a devastating loss that sent him into depression and took him a bit to come out of (the life circumstances). He's a great guy. Successful, smart, and treats my SIL and nephew amazing.

So she cured his depression with sex? I am going to be depressed tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

No. My husband's ex-wife allowed her boyfriend to spend the night a few times. It was a huge part of why she lost custody. This is was in Georgia where it's nearly impossible for a dad to gain custody. However, the judge called her "morally bankrupt". Honestly, she wasn't. She had been dating this guy for almost three years. They are married now. The judge was just very conservative. She and my DH had a non-cohabitation clause in their separation agreement. The judge was pissed that she broke it. And we gained custody. The kids were 4 and 6 at the time. They are 20 and 18 now.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to have privacy in a trailer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What, Mama can't get laid?

Yeah, when kid is with his dad.

Not all kids have a dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends how long they've been together. SIL has been with her fiance since her son was 3. He's now 10. They took things slow in the beginning, introduced him to her son, did things together so they got to know each other, and by the time her son was about 6-7, he was spending the night. They got engaged when he was 8, but some life circumstances have put their wedding on hold until next year.

7 years, and they can't pull the trigger and get married? Sounds like a loser.

Actually it was my SIL who wanted to take things very slowly after being in an abusive relationship with her son's father. Smart on her part. Then he suffered a devastating loss that sent him into depression and took him a bit to come out of (the life circumstances). He's a great guy. Successful, smart, and treats my SIL and nephew amazing.

So she cured his depression with sex? I am going to be depressed tomorrow.

Can you not read? No, his depression is what caused the engagement/relationship to be so long before marriage. Most people don't bounce back quickly after finding your brother dead from a self inflicted gun shot wound.

[Anonymous]

That story is SHOCKING, 14:04. Your DH went after her for custody over what was clearly a serious relationship? I feel for her and for her children. Ugly, ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That story is SHOCKING, 14:04. Your DH went after her for custody over what was clearly a serious relationship? I feel for her and for her children. Ugly, ugly.

We didn't go for custody over the relationship. Her relationship with her now husband was actually the most stable thing in her life. We went for custody because my DH was paying $2,900 a month in support for two kids. That's $34,800 a year in tax free income in a very low COL area. That is more than many people make working full time. Despite receiving that support, she was evicted from three home, had utilities shut of more times than I can remember, failed to provide even the most basic health and dental care to the children despite them being covered under our policy, just on and on and on. She was also super creepy religious and the therapist was worried about her influence on the kids. The judge just latched on to the non-cohabitation violation.

She loves her children dearly, but is the most immature adult I have ever met. I do feel really sorry for her. I can't even imagine the pain of losing your kids. However, I cannot feel sorry for the kids. They have thrived living with us. It's was like night and day after they moved in.

[Anonymous]

I walked in on my mom and her boyfriend when I was 9 and was traumatized...for two weeks. Then I got over it. I also learned to start knocking. Lesson learned.

I don't see the big deal if it's a serious relationship. I also think it's time to get over the prudish idea that parents are not supposed to have sex. Unless you waited until marriage with your spouse, it's completely hypocritical to pretend with kids that sex shouldn't occur outside of marriage.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom, I've been dating a man for six months, can't imagine having him over night with the kids here. Would not do it.

Of course they visit their dad, who lives with his GF, and no one is horrified by that idea.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I walked in on my mom and her boyfriend when I was 9 and was traumatized...for two weeks. Then I got over it. I also learned to start knocking. Lesson learned.

I don't see the big deal if it's a serious relationship. I also think it's time to get over the prudish idea that parents are not supposed to have sex. Unless you waited until marriage with your spouse, it's completely hypocritical to pretend with kids that sex shouldn't occur outside of marriage.

A parent's sex life shouldn't be the child's problem. It should be invisible to them, and having a series of boyfriends come over sends a terrible message. Totally different for a husband /wife to be having sex in their home vs. a person who you are just dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I walked in on my mom and her boyfriend when I was 9 and was traumatized...for two weeks. Then I got over it. I also learned to start knocking. Lesson learned.

I don't see the big deal if it's a serious relationship. I also think it's time to get over the prudish idea that parents are not supposed to have sex. Unless you waited until marriage with your spouse, it's completely hypocritical to pretend with kids that sex shouldn't occur outside of marriage.

A parent's sex life shouldn't be the child's problem. It should be invisible to them, and having a series of boyfriends come over sends a terrible message. Totally different for a husband /wife to be having sex in their home vs. a person who you are just dating.

What pp is saying is that having a moms boyfriend spend the night wasn't a problem for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I walked in on my mom and her boyfriend when I was 9 and was traumatized...for two weeks. Then I got over it. I also learned to start knocking. Lesson learned.

I don't see the big deal if it's a serious relationship. I also think it's time to get over the prudish idea that parents are not supposed to have sex. Unless you waited until marriage with your spouse, it's completely hypocritical to pretend with kids that sex shouldn't occur outside of marriage.

A parent's sex life shouldn't be the child's problem. It should be invisible to them, and having a series of boyfriends come over sends a terrible message. Totally different for a husband /wife to be having sex in their home vs. a person who you are just dating.

What pp is saying is that having a moms boyfriend spend the night wasn't a problem for her.

Still doesn't make it right.