Being left back in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

19:59 here. I wanted to add that my son is now in HS and will be repeating a grade next year. It never got better for him, despite supports at school and private outside services. I think the school did a real disservice by moving him when he hadn't mastered the material. I imagine repeating a grade in high school is going to be much harder on him than repeating second grade would have been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be held back, a student would have to be doing very poorly. So what did the teacher tell you OP?

No, that's completely wrong.

What else would it mean? And, it's not completely wrong. I was told by my son's second grade teacher and by our principal that a child had to be doing extremely before they would even consider holding a child back. My son was well below grade level in reading and math even with supports and pull out services (no IEP or 504, but got services to try to help him reach grade level) but they insisted on moving him on.

I think different teachers would have agreed with you back then.They tend to be more sensitive now.

[Anonymous]

OP here, the teacher says:
he knows his letters and letter sounds
he can read small words
he can count pass 100
he knows his numbers
he can add two groups of objects again
he loves show and tell
he has an impressive vocabularly
he is highly imaginative
he knows how to button, zipper and cut, but can not close a snap or tie his shoes

he doesn't like to participate in morning circle when they count the days of the school year aloud. He tends to zone off (highly imaginative) or situate himself near a container of toys so that he can touch them during the circle time.
He has good behavior otherwise, is not disruptive and does not fight.
she has noticed that he take things VERY seriously and seems upset when the older kids understand concepts faster than he does (but she says he always right behind the quick learners in his understanding)

she thinks keeping him back will do wonders for his confidence and willingness to try new things (he tends to say No, when asked to do something that might be hard)

[Anonymous]

Wow. I think the teacher is WAY off base. If your kid is a bright kid, holding back for social skill development alone is ridiculous.

And my second grader probably doesn't know how to tie his shoes yet either. Velcro has gotten him this far. It apparently wasn't a barrier to entry to advanced elementary grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, the teacher says:
he knows his letters and letter sounds
he can read small words
he can count pass 100
he knows his numbers
he can add two groups of objects again
he loves show and tell
he has an impressive vocabularly
he is highly imaginative
he knows how to button, zipper and cut, but can not close a snap or tie his shoes

he doesn't like to participate in morning circle when they count the days of the school year aloud. He tends to zone off (highly imaginative) or situate himself near a container of toys so that he can touch them during the circle time.
He has good behavior otherwise, is not disruptive and does not fight.
she has noticed that he take things VERY seriously and seems upset when the older kids understand concepts faster than he does (but she says he always right behind the quick learners in his understanding)

she thinks keeping him back will do wonders for his confidence and willingness to try new things (he tends to say No, when asked to do something that might be hard)

The teacher is probably right, but the only problem is that he has already started school. You have to think about whether holding him back at this point, when kids are aware, would destroy his self esteem. I have read articles stating that the trend these days is to not hold kids back because self-esteem issues often follow these kids with them through high school. If you were to hold him back, I would say to switch schools and give him a fresh start with no baggage.

[Anonymous]

I think your son needs praise for trying when he feels hesitant and trying again and again at things. Not praise for results.

[Anonymous]

My son is repeating Pre-K this year at the same school and it was the best thing we could have done for him. Yes, other kids questioned why but they were being curious, not being rude. We came up with an answer he could give and hasn't been an issue at all. At that age friendships aren't very strong yet and they will forget.

[Anonymous]

My DC has always taken half a year to start feeling comfortable and participating fully in school (starting in preschool -- now in 5th grade and still the same story). Your DC might start blossoming soon.

[Anonymous]

So this must be a private K then? In public K (at least in our district), a student really does need to be performing poorly for he/she to be considered for a candidate for retention.

[Anonymous]

There were two older boys in my class who had to repeat and I regarded them as idiots. They were still at the bottom of the class despite being held back. They were stronger than the other kids and fared better on the playground, but that was about it. I would give your kid a fresh start at another school if at all possible.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Nope, this is DC public school.
His birthday is early September, so while will turn 6 this year while starting first grade, we will again start going to 7 year birthday parties in the same month.
I think, just telling him that he will do the class again to be with kids his age might just work.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel your pain. My DS is an August baby and was very immature in preschool. We put him in a private K school, knowing that we'd have him repeat K in our public school if he was still immature at the end of K. We ended up doing that, and I think it was the right call. He's now the oldest in his class but doesn't know the difference. He's very confident and helpful with his classmates. Can you switch schools? It'll be tough for him to see his K classmates in a different classroom, but I'm sure he'll adjust fine, especially at such a young age.

[Anonymous]

Hold him. A few awkward questions that have an answer beats confidence issues (which is whole game at this age) Maybe we'll see you there with our 5 year old who is turning 6 in august but we didn't send in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Does the school typically hold kids back? At my kids school, it is normal for kids to be held back. There is no automatic promotion, last year at least 6 kids were held back in K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, the teacher says:
he knows his letters and letter sounds
he can read small words
he can count pass 100
he knows his numbers
he can add two groups of objects again
he loves show and tell
he has an impressive vocabularly
he is highly imaginative
he knows how to button, zipper and cut, but can not close a snap or tie his shoes

he doesn't like to participate in morning circle when they count the days of the school year aloud. He tends to zone off (highly imaginative) or situate himself near a container of toys so that he can touch them during the circle time.
He has good behavior otherwise, is not disruptive and does not fight.
she has noticed that he take things VERY seriously and seems upset when the older kids understand concepts faster than he does (but she says he always right behind the quick learners in his understanding)

she thinks keeping him back will do wonders for his confidence and willingness to try new things (he tends to say No, when asked to do something that might be hard)

This sounds like my daughter who also turned six right before the start of 1st grade. She HATES school. Wants to wander off and draw, play. She's a very advanced reader, not so much in math. I wish we'd kept her in a multi-grade, multi-age classroom where she came from. Then she could progress at her own pace and not feel so singled out. I have every reason to believe she'll zoom forward in math and other areas in her own time. That's what happened with reading and writing. She went from being a very early beginner in the summer to extremely proficient by the end of summer. I also progressed in fits and starts like this at the beginning of school, and was in a multi-age/grade classroom until 4th grade. Then spent a year in public school in the 'middle' level reading and math groups before someone said: put in her in gifted. Where I did very well.

It just took me longer. I think I I'd been held back a year, I'd have been very, very bored.

The environment matters. Again, I do really wish we'd kept her in a different school. The public school classroom wasn't really right for her this year.